Stuck

[BoredAgain]

So, this is me mostly venting...

 

It's been about two months since my 4+ year relationship ended. It was what you might call a classic "grass is greener" breakup. We dated throughout college, I was her first "love," and we had a very happy relationship. Then shortly before the breakup she started hanging out with old high school friends she hadn't seen in years (as well as a few new friends, one of them being a new "guy friend"), she started partying, drinking heavily, and talking about starting to smoke. All of this is very different from how she usually acts. Then she dumped me... well, kind of. There was a two-week period where she fluctuated daily between wanting to end it and wanting to work things out. She was clearly very confused, and her reasons for the break-up were changing all the time. However, it eventually did end permanently, and I felt good about the way I handled it (no begging, crying, or pleading).

 

Since then I've been doing the No Contact thing (except for a very brief encounter to exchange our stuff). She did write me a note recently. In it she basically just told me about how amazing I was as a boyfriend and wishing me luck in the future. I didn't respond to this note. Today I archived my old emails from the last year, and it made me miss my Ex quite a lot. It's weird to see emails from 2-3 weeks before the breakup where she was telling me things like "I'm really excited to see you tonight." It reminds me of how fast this all went down. We were planning on moving in together in February, and I recall her being so excited about it... then out of nowhere she just suddenly lost interest.

 

Aside from these musings, the "healing" is going pretty well. I've taken up new hobbies, I've been going to the gym more, and I've been working on my life. ...the problem is, I just don't feel like my life is going anywhere. I've spent the last two months attempting to get a new (more fulfilling) job, but I've had pretty much no success at even getting interviews. I feel stuck in life, and it's making me feel stuck in the healing process. It's frustrating working so hard at something but getting nowhere. Anybody have advice or just some words of encouragement?

[CookieMonster8]

As cliche as it sounds, it gets better. Plan stuff to look forward to like a trip with the guys, take on a noncredit class to learn something new and meet new people, try new restaurants etc etc. Having something to look forward to always seems to shake me out of that "stuck in a rut" feeling in life. It sounds like your doing all the right things to heal and you should pat yourself on that bat for that. I think if you don't give up and keep doing what your doing a window will open for you and things will fall into place. Just don't ever give up on yourself and know over time you won't be feeling so lost anymore.