Advice for my next move on a girl I like.

[Fantanos]

Hello,

 

I will give you an overview and I am sorry if this bores you, I will try my best not to.

 

I am recently single from a 3.5 year relationship. It was a mutual break up and we both know it is for the best. We still talk and I love her but I know we will not make each other happy. At this point I do not see us ever being back together.

 

While we were in the "break up" stages I was looking for support from a good friend and his girl friend. I asked (jokingly) to his girlfriend if she had any friends to hook me up with, she said I only have one that would be good for you, Amanda. I didn't think much about it because I really wasn't thinking about other girls at the time.

 

Two months go by and my ex and I are officially split up, she lived with me so she had gotten her own place and moved out a about an hour away from. I was on Facebook bored one night and thought about my friends girl friend mentioning Amanda for me. So I looked her up and once I saw her I realized I had seen her a few times at my friends parties and bars, we have talked very little in the past but knew who each other was. So I requested her as a friend and she approved.

 

A few weeks go by and we are out at a bar with my friend and his girlfriend. Amanda and her friend stopped in and I was excited. Amanda's friend was a little bigger and not my type but was super nice. Amanda is very shy and it takes time for her to open up, I am talkative and like to ask questions. So Amanda's friend starts talking to me and we talk quite a bit. We all decide to move on to the next bar and we do. My friend and his gf decide to go home so its me Amanda and her friend. Her friend is still talking to me and I could tell starting to like me.. she is an awesome girl just no attraction. So I couldn't talk to Amanda. We hang out, had some drinks and went home.

 

The next day I text my friend and told him I think Amanda's friend likes me. He laughs, tells his gf who text's Amanda and says "Hey I here Jamie likes Ryan lol" Amanda replies "Yes I noticed, I really wanted to talk to Ryan but didn't want to hurt Jamie's feelings" So right there is the first sign Amanda is interested, right?

 

The next weekend we all go out again, Amanda comes and meets us (she goes out of her way to come see us)... we talk some and she was super nice. She had to leave early because of work in the AM so she gave me a hug and we made plans for us to all do something the next night.

 

The next night comes and my friend and his gf are too hung over to go out again (we drank a little too much). So I get Amanda's # from my friends gf and text her. She replies back and seems excited I texted her, she was disappointed we weren't all going out and our friends bailed on us. We texted back and forth all night for a few hours... I didn't know if I was ready for just me and her to hang out so I didn't ask her to go out. She was hanging out with another friend so we just texted. I asked her at the end of the night if she wanted to come over to our friends to watch a football game Sunday and she replied "Sure

 

We watched the game together and had fun, we couldn't talk a lot because of the game and other people talking with us too. We called it a night and went home. I waited a day and texted her, she replied and we texted back and forth for four hours. I asked her what her plans were for the weekend were and she said Friday she was going to watch a band with Jamie in my town, the bar is close to my house... we talked and talked but she never invited me to come with them? Do you think because she was too shy? Or because she knows her best friend isn't into me? I was confused.

 

I asked my friends gf what she thought, did she think Amanda was in to me? She said Amanda honestly hadn't said anything to her yet, but she also said that Amanda knows I am fresh out a long relationship and doesn't want to just put herself out there. So that makes sense, right?

 

So the night she was suppose to go watch this band I was out too so I text her how the band was she replied that they didn't go because of the snow (it just snowed and they live 45min away) but they were at my friends house hanging out. She then asked what I was doing. We texted again back and forth for about an hour... and fun text too, not like one word answers.. she always asked me questions and I did the same.

 

So finally I sent her one last message around 10:40 that night, 5 minutes after her last message was received by me and she never replied. It is now the next day at 2pm and still no reply.

 

Do I assume she fell asleep maybe? Or my messages didn't get delivered? Do I just let it go until she contacts me or do I least try one more time? I hate rejection and don't want to bug someone.

 

Thoughts on this?

 

Sorry for so long...

[camus154]

Remember the old days when people actually called each other if they wanted to talk and if someone actually took the eternity of a few days to get back to you, you still somehow managed to survive and actually go about your life without having a stroke?

 

No, you're probably too young to remember that.

[Fantanos]

Remember the old days when people actually called each other if they wanted to talk and if someone actually took the eternity of a few days to get back to you, you still somehow managed to survive and actually go about your life without having a stroke?

 

No, you're probably too young to remember that.

 

I am actually 29 (30 next week) and I do remember that from when I was just out of high school... I think about those days and sometimes wonder how we did it. We had to call a girl we liked, it was a very nervous feeling. Now we have all these "easy" ways of contacting people...

[camus154]

You know how we did it? We had a bit of cajones back then. It's no wonder men wear skinny jeans and white rimmed sunglasses these days. They simply don't know any better. Ugh.

 

Anyway, give it a few more days. If you want to ask this chick out, then call her (CALL, not text) and actually ask her out. Time, place, date. No wishy washy crap. Be a man, have some stones, ask her out. If you get rejected, so what.

 

And happy early b day

[donpeel83]

I am actually 29 (30 next week) and I do remember that from when I was just out of high school... I think about those days and sometimes wonder how we did it. We had to call a girl we liked, it was a very nervous feeling. Now we have all these "easy" ways of contacting people...

 

CHrist, I remember a time having to "down" several cans of beer and throwing before I had the courage to phone one particular girl up I liked. Many moons ago now though thankfully.

[Fantanos]

You know how we did it? We had a bit of cajones back then. It's no wonder men wear skinny jeans and white rimmed sunglasses these days. They simply don't know any better. Ugh.

 

Anyway, give it a few more days. If you want to ask this chick out, then call her (CALL, not text) and actually ask her out. Time, place, date. No wishy washy crap. Be a man, have some stones, ask her out. If you get rejected, so what.

 

And happy early b day

 

Thank you sir, I appreciate that!

 

And you are right, when and if the time comes to actually ask her out I think the right thing is to call or ask her in person. This texting stuff makes it too easy... but also complicates things and hurts the social factor.

 

I feel like I am too old for this stuff... lol