Is there any hope/any reason for me to have any?

[RainaBabe]

He said he'd be jealous if I found someone else, and that he'd be a little upset. He said the door isn't closed on me, but we have to be friends right now (which I agree with completely), but that he doesn't know what the future holds. He may find someone else, although he doubts it, or I may, which he thinks is more likely. He'll still give me hugs, and I can call if I need to talk. He still cares about me, and there's a part that wants to be with me still, but a bigger part that doesn't, because we weren't working out. A lot of the things he isn't thrilled about regarding me are things I want to change about myself anyway, but I want to do it for me, not for him. But still, I wish he'd see those changes and want me back... He does miss me on occasion, especially at night, but he's more or less over me for now. He doesn't know what the future brings. He said I'm the only one he would want to ravage him (we were joking about something, but it made me feel good), but that he only wants to be friends for now. I don't know whether to have hope or not. He doesn't want a girlfriend, I don't want a boyfriend, but I still love him. He wants me to be there on Saturday for our group games that we have, but has acknowledged that we won't be touching. This is so hard. If I have faith or even hope, I could be badly hurt again. If I give up completely, it'll still hurt, but I'll also lose out on ever trying with him again. If I don't give up, I may have to face seeing him find someone else.

 

Is there any hope? I want to work on myself, but is there even a semi-decent chance he'll want me back someday?

[chai714]

He doesn't want a girlfriend, I don't want a boyfriend, but I still love him.

 

If I give up completely, it'll still hurt, but I'll also lose out on ever trying with him again. If I don't give up, I may have to face seeing him find someone else. Is there any hope? I want to work on myself, but is there even a semi-decent chance he'll want me back someday?

 

You're contradicting yourself here. You don't want a boyfriend, but you want to know if there's a chance he'll want you back someday? You either want to be with him, or you don't. Pick one.

[EatZ]

From all that you've told us, I'd say your chance is as good as any for getting back together with him! No one can tell you for sure what's going to happen though. It's up to you whether you carry on floating in limbo, waiting for him, hoping he'll come back some day.

 

The best thing you could do right now is to be selfish for a while. Take care of yourself. Take the time to figure out what means more to you in life and in relationships. Make those changes to yourself that you've been promising yourself. You won't regret it...

 

And if, after discovering this whole new beautiful, wonderful, enlightened side of yourself, wouldn't he be an idiot for not taking you back anyway?! It if he doesn't, I'm sure it'll come as a revelation that he's obviously not the one for you anyway...

 

... or maybe you'll come to a point where YOU don't want him anymore. Who knows.

 

But like I said, I think there's every chance. He's said some very heartfelt things so far, and while some of them could be mistaken as sugar-coating, a lot of the rules and boundaries he's set seem to be to protect himself as much as you. I'd say he's just very confused and needs a bit of time... So don't go on waiting for no one. Work on yourself and see where it takes you.

 

Take care!

[juz4storm]

My GF that I really loved very much left me because of something that I did. At the time I didn't know it was a problem. But after she left I thought about what happened and I knew that I had to change something simple about myself. A relationship is a part of life and sometimes they don't work out. Yeah it's hard to let go but look at what happened during the relationship and if you really want to be the best person you can be then change it. Nothing's impossible.

 

From what you said I sounds like you're in a position to improve yourself and show him. That could be what he's waiting for. Change what you want about yourself and stay friends with him. He'll notice the difference about you and over time he might come closer. But if he doesn't, then the more you improve yourself the happier you're going to make your soul mate. Patience is a virtue and if it's meant to be then it's meant to be.