Broke NC after 2 months, the outcome? An unexpected rollercoaster.

[ZimboGon]

Well, you guys have seen me post here before. My story is pretty long, but short story, my ex and i had a great relationship for awhile, things got boring, and she left me for some inferior guy. After the break-up, i was so frustrated because i fought so hard for her, so i shut her out. She asked to be friends, begged me even. She even asked me to wait for her. I turned my back, told her to never talk to me again, told her she was nothing to me.

 

So, i decide to send her a message. She replies, and it starts off slow. We talk for a bit, about the break-up. An hour later, she texts me again, "What was the reason you decided to contact me?" I told her i didn't want bad blood with someone who used to mean so much to me. There was a misunderstanding after the break-up where i ran into her friends and they decided to insult me, and i defended myself. Word spread to her that i was spreading rumors about her or something. I guess this turned into fuel for her.

 

...She exploded.

 

She yelled at me for turning my back on her, for me apparently hating her, for me acting like an a**hole to her after the break-up. Everything was twisted. She was the one who lied to me and left me, yet i was the one defending myself. We ended up arguing for a good hour or so about everything. She ended up saying some pretty hurtful things. For someone who trusted me no matter what, she had been talking to me like i was a changed man, for the worse. I assured her, everything we had was genuine, and it meant something. I told her to stop bull****ing herself with things about me being a bad boyfriend, because i did everything i could for her. The tone shifted a bit, and she talked about how she really cared about me too. She explained how she felt restless, because i had time to experience other relationships and if i ever wanted things to work between us, i had to understand she needed to experience those things as well. I told her i understand, and to just be happy for now. Then she starts spewing about how bad she felt thinking that i hated her, and how it was a shame we broke up because she saw us lasting much longer than we did.

 

Not sure how i feel, at this point. I know what we had meant something. I've always strongly believed we will get back together, and she did hint at that possibility quite a bit, however she did use quite a bit of past tense. The only thing, she's still dating that guy she left me for. From what i hear, it isn't going well. In short, the guy isn't special. They don't share the same hobbies. He was basically her emotional doormat while she and i dated, and he used that status to manipulate everything. My belief is this yelling was result of her lying to herself, making herself hate me so she could deal with the break-up easier and move into this new guy without doubts. Pretty sure i did a good job at crushing that.

 

So, i left the ball in her court. She knows i don't hate her, but i won't be doing anything else to move this process along. I'm back to NC.

[Personal]

Do you want to get back with her?? And a person who comes into a relationship within weeks of a break up is a rebound and rebounds never ever last.

[ZimboGon]

Do you want to get back with her?? And a person who comes into a relationship within weeks of a break up is a rebound and rebounds never ever last.

 

Its hard to say, honestly. For the first year we dated... It was great. Our chemistry was awesome, we had so many similar interests. We got along perfectly, and we knew each other inside and out. It was pretty amazing. Things took a turn for the worse around the last month we were together, and i saw a side of her i never really saw before. Especially how she handled the break-up, she lied to me for the first time.

 

So, knowing what we had, i liked it. I want more of it. Am i scared she could discard me like she did once before? Yes. But were the reasons for what happened? Yes... but not enough to warrant how she handled everything.

 

I would give her a second chance, though. If i wouldn't, then i would be lying everytime i ever told her i loved her.

[ZimboGon]

mmm... Bump i guess?

[sentencedtoagony]

My ex was an angel. Everything I wanted. Then she started lying and left abruptly.

 

We were treated as disposable, left behind. We must do the same for them as much as we still have feelings for them.

[ZimboGon]

That isn't an option. I feel like what we had meant something. I loved her, and she loved me. I would never turn my back on someone i love.

 

I have faith in myself and my actions, and that is what gives me faith in her.

[sentencedtoagony]

Hasn't she turned her back on you? I understand your pain. I'm going through the same thing right now. It was the best love ever, then it got crapped on. I can't stop envisioning reconciliation for us...but I'm still trying to move forward.

[ZimboGon]

I don't believe she could ever turn her back on me. I was her first love. If anything, the emotions she portrayed yesterday while she was yelling at me says she hasn't turned her back on me. She lied to herself and made her believe i truly did hate her, so it would be easier for her to move on and force herself to continue dating this other guy.

 

Don't think that is an option anymore, she knows i don't. I don't need to envision reconciliation. I'm so cocky, i'm sure of it.

[AC Slater]

If you're so sure of it just leave it alone and let her come to you. Put everything in the grand scheme of things - little sparks of sporadic contact or emotional spills mean jack * * * * in the long run. If she wants to be with you she's going to make it obvious in one way or another, it might not be straight out admitting she wants to try again but she'll be the one to contact you and show some sort of signs of remorse/willingness to have you in her life again. Just leave it man, if it's meant to happen she'll come back to you, if not then whatever. Show her you're moving on, it'll build attraction and force her to make some sort of action/decision if she wants to try again