I dont know what to do

[Derek123]

nothing is right I dont feel like a boy I always feel like I should have been a girl

 

I always want to act feminine and hang out with other girls but I cant I would look gay and weird

 

I know this happens to other people but I dont know what to do I think about it every minute of my life and at some time I have even gotten suicidal

 

I once told my dad and he said it was a phase but I felt this way since I was little I always wanted to grow my hair long and stuff

 

I know I can "change" but I am only 13 I cant take hormones or anything and even if I did I would never be able to see any of my friends again life would never be normal

 

Everyday I feel a little bit worse and I have no idea of what I can do I want to wear girls clothes and be a girl

 

This took alot of courage to say but I cant hold it in any longer I just cant stand any of this any longer I felt wrong my whole life

[Derek123]

but I dont want big muscles or anything and I dont like sports that much at all I dont like to do any boy things hardly except maybe video and computer games which girls do to

 

its been like this my whole life I have always wanted to dres up like and hang out with the girls

 

no boy things appeal to me at all and it cant be a phase because I always felt this way

[Derek123]

anything masculine makes me feel sick or sad if I do it like cutting my hair short or hanging out with them because most of them are stupid and immature

 

I wish there was something I could do at the moment

[Cadence308]

You sound really frustrated. I had this roommate in college in the dorms who, I was pretty sure, was born physiologically male. But, her name was Lori and she took hormones and hung out with girls. I never talked to her about it since we were never that close, plus she was like 41 yrs old and I was 23 so the age difference was part of it. I always thought that it must be hard for her.

 

Anyway, there's a book that I read last summer about this boy who is a twin and something happened during his circumcision at his birth and the doctors thought that it would be easier to just make him a girl so they did. The book is about this boy who grew up as a girl and never felt right and then the docs finally realized that they made a big mistake and you can't change someone's gender just because you want to. There are genes and chromosomes that make us the way we are. The book is called "As Nature Made Him," and I can't remember the author, but I'm sure you could find the book on link removed. It's a good read and it might help you sort things out. Good luck!

[Lucky_Ducky]

Derek123, what you are feeling, i can't help you with, but it seems like you have a great desire to me Female, sometimes following your heart is the best option as in the end you'll be happier for it.

 

You're only 13, that gives you many years to make a true decision on things but just remember, you're ONLY 13, so loosing all your friends wouldn't be that bad as you still have plenty of years ahead of you to make new ones.

 

In the end it's up to you, but seriously, do you believe you'd be happier as a female? because if you would be then you should seriously consider it

 

Maybe there is a logical reason for your feelings though, maybe it's not that you as such want to be female, it could be that you're inlove with the female body and you like it so much you wish you were one, because that feeling,i've heard is commen

[Derek123]

nah not really I kind of consider myself bi I am attracted to both sexes but mostly females

 

I dont thinks its a possibility because I felt this way before I liked girls

[Lucky_Ducky]

Interesting... well maybe the way to go about it is to seek help, i mean what harm can it do, you'll create a better understanding of your feelings and maybe they'll have a solution to help you out

 

feel free to PM me though

[NotGay,Really]

Derek, I really think you should seek some professional help to sort this out. You are entering a critical phase in your life, and it sounds like you need some useful tools to deal with issues.

 

Does your school have counseling? Or your town?

 

It is also good to find very trusted people to talk to about this. You have been brave to come here and share. Now continue to move forward.

 

I hope you will find the happiness you seek.

[moleculo]

I felt similar things when I was your age...sheesh, I turned 21 a month ago and I'm already saying "when I was your age" How old have I turned?

 

What your feeling is natural in some young men. Some times it's a sign of things to come, other times it's a phase. Mine was a phase, but I have a close friend who turned out to be gay.

 

Expressing and exploring these feelings wouldn't be wrong at all. Perhaps you have a close female friend you can confide in and trust? Maybe she could help you explore feeling femenine.

 

As far as the things that scare you, perhaps you should talk to a teacher or guidance counselor...as long as you aren't endangering yourself, they can't tell your parents. Either way, don't fear, buddy. You're 13 and you've got a long life ahead of you. You'll figure it out in time. For now, you're young. Be happy! See if you can find a safe, appropriate way to express these feelings.

[Derek123]

I used to go to counseling but it just didnt do anything and we tried someone new and I have been afraid to tell him anything.

 

Thanks for your help and advice but I have been feeling this way for as long as I can remember so I doubht this is a phase.

 

I doubt anyone could help me noone can really change who you are. I suppose I just wanted to tell someone.

 

Thanks for your support and I suppose I will see how my life turns out.

[Bubbles_159]

Hi

 

what your describing sounds scary, i can very well amagon how that'd screw your mind over

but yes, like the others i believe the best thing to do is get help from someone trained or professional.

 

Though yes, i don't believe what you're feeling is a phase as you're right you've been feeling it for to long. Although, you are just 13 years old, you've got years ahead of yo before you make any decissions ok

At your age you should be starting to go through "changes" well it is possible that these changes are confussing you and your gender.

 

The thing that is concerning is that you find everything "male" related horribel that's not good, i mean I; a female, enjoy male activities along with female.

 

But DO talk to someone about it ok, even your father again anything to help with you situation

[NotGay,Really]

You said: "I used to go to counseling but it just didnt do anything and we tried someone new and I have been afraid to tell him anything."

 

I am sorry your first counselor was unable to give you the help you needed. But don't just give up. You have been brave enough to come here. Try to trust another counselor. Or, as others have suggested, a close friend.

 

Life is what happens when we are making other plans...

[Derek123]

I dont think its horrible its just alot of things that guys do I dont like to do at all

 

Also its a little easier to talk about it here than a counselor because you know then I am face to face with him its just really hard.

 

I did kind of make it sound like male things are horrible didnt I I guess I was so depressed I started to exaggerate and stuff.

 

I dont think they are really horrible I just dont like to paintball or anything like that I dont know why or play certain rough sports at all.

 

Its just really hard every moment of my life almost I think about it because nothing feels right at all.

 

I dont really have much friends but I do have one or two good ones but they are not the kind of friends I would talk about this too I really wish I did have a friend like that. They would probably just look at me weird and go "oook..." if you know what I mean

 

I cant really talk to my parents about it either my mom is bi polar and I live with my dad but whenever I say it he thinks its silly that I think that way and says its only because you dont hang out with the "boys" enough

 

Sometimes I just go to sleep and pray that I wake up as a girl I pray to god all the time but it seems hopeless faith cant help me with this.

 

I just wish there was something I could do to stop the pain I feel all the time I wish there was just something I could do but I feel hopeless lost I feel like I am falling deeper and deeper into sadness. I know it sounds like I am complaining or exagerrating but i really feel this way.