Lucky_Ducky

Shaun_007 you seem to be in a tight spot here. If you truly love her and you clearly do then maybe should first look it up, find out about being a Transgender and understand how it would have such a mental impact on you Girlfriend. I have many sites which can help you, I'll message them too you if you'd like Shaun_007 I feel like you havent looked at it from her angle, see what it's like for her, she can't control these feelings they're just there, support her, tell her you'll love her no matter what, after all she seems really vunrable at the moment. She'll need support from a loved one. Let me know how it's all going

Hi again, i have found this site which brings up some helpful advise on being a transgender and what it would be like to be with a transgender (so mainly what it would be like for your girlfriend) i have pasted the most important: What causes the urge to crossdress or to change one's sex? There is a great deal of debate in the medical community as to what causes transsexualism and transvestitism. Transsexualism is thought by some to be caused by a area in the brain called the "sexually dimorphic nucleus". Others claim that it is caused by a hormonal imbalance during pregnancy. Some types of transsexualism (e.g. xxy syndrome) are genetic. The two main types of transsexuality are called "primary" and "secondary" transsexualism. Primary transsexualism occurs in young adults who are gender dysphoric from a young age. Secondary transsexualism occurs in middle-aged people who have not had very strong transgender urges in their earlier lives. This type of transsexualism is thought to be linked to hormonal changes in the body at that time. There are also cases where people are forced into alternative sex roles due to religious, social, or family pressures. Some men dress as women to avoid draft or get out of the army. Very religious male homosexuals may feel the need to change their sex in order to correspond with their religious beliefs. Parents may dress their children in clothing of the opposite sex because they wanted a child of that sex. Transvestitism has no definite cause. MTF cross dressers sometimes crossdress because it feels more comfortable than male clothing. FTM cross dressers are more easily accepted than male cross-dressers. My significant other is transgendered. What should I do? There are several support groups that can help you deal with a crossdressing male spouse, a transsexual/intersexual spouse, or a transgendered girlfriend/boyfriend. If your spouse's transgendered activities are interfering with your sex life, a marriage counselor might help you. Transsexuals and transvestites in married situations sometimes remain with their wives as sort of a "sister" figure. In some cases, a transsexual spouse spells the end of a relationship. Heterosexual males involved in relationships with MTF transsexuals or gay transvestites may feel that their masculinity is at stake. Being in a relationship with a MTF transgenderist does not mean that you are gay in any sense of the word, nor does it mean you are somehow "less straight". Heterosexual women involved in relationships with FTM transgenderists are often very accepting of their boyfriend's condition. Many female transsexuals marry and adopt children. Some women involved in such a relationship leave because they want to have children. As with the above example, being in a relationship with a female transsexual does not make you any less heterosexual. Intersexuals and post-operative transsexuals are a special case. In many cases, there is no way for a person to know that his/her spouse was an intersexual or transsexual. Having your spouse tell you this is a symbol of trust and commitment. Children of transsexuals often feel upset over a parent's decision to change his or her sex. Children may feel guilty, neglected, or hostile towards the parent. Sometimes, the transsexual parent will leave the family altogether. This does not mean that the parent has stops loving his or her children. Sometimes, especially at the beginning of a sex-change, a person will feel very guilty and have a lot of self-hatred. They will feel "unworthy" to be a family member and may feel obligated to leave. The parent still loves you, but he or she cannot bring himself to face you. Eventually, the guilt will fade. It is important to maintain a relationship with your parent and let him or her know you are interested in maintaining a relationship. Parents of transsexuals and transvestites feel a range of emotions towards their children, ranging from disbelief ("It's just a phase") to anger and disgust. Some parents will be upset at the prospect of no grandchildren. Many parents who cannot deal with their children simply tell the child to leave the household. You should remember that your child is going through an incredibly rough time, and needs your support now more than ever. Above all else, remember that you are not alone. Many other people have gone through what you are going through right now. It is okay to feel angry, disgusted, or sad; those are natural emotions to feel. It is not okay to feel guilty, unworthy, or ashamed. You have done nothing to justify such feelings. There are support groups for children of transgenderists, spouses of transgenderists, girlfriends and boyfriends of transgenderists, and parents of transgendered youths. I hope this might help you in understanding abit more about your condition.

Interesting... well maybe the way to go about it is to seek help, i mean what harm can it do, you'll create a better understanding of your feelings and maybe they'll have a solution to help you out feel free to PM me though

Derek123, what you are feeling, i can't help you with, but it seems like you have a great desire to me Female, sometimes following your heart is the best option as in the end you'll be happier for it. You're only 13, that gives you many years to make a true decision on things but just remember, you're ONLY 13, so loosing all your friends wouldn't be that bad as you still have plenty of years ahead of you to make new ones. In the end it's up to you, but seriously, do you believe you'd be happier as a female? because if you would be then you should seriously consider it Maybe there is a logical reason for your feelings though, maybe it's not that you as such want to be female, it could be that you're inlove with the female body and you like it so much you wish you were one, because that feeling,i've heard is commen

Nicegirl has a good point, Look, if you can't live your life as male then your only option is to change, but how much do you want to change, like actually become female, parts and all or are you just into cross-dressing, either way if you're going to do anything you have to confront someone, either your Grilfriend or a loved one. Nicegirl is right, you wont loose your Family and Friends, that is if they're your true friends, at least this way it'll show you who really does care for you. Even though you state your home life isn't good at least with coming out of the closet; you'll be free. Though I'm not sure about your Girlfriend as i do not know anything about her, so how she would take the news; is really a mystery but from what you've said, it sounds like loosing her would destroy you. But that being said, you must remember, life goes on and you would find someone else, someone more suited to yourself. All i want you to realise is in the end it's your choice, do whatever makes you happy Keep me posted on how things are going.

your welcome Lost_Relic The fact that this feeling is still strong is worrying though, look, the best you can do is just ignore it. You say the feeling hasn't been there for the last few weeks, why is that? have you not been thinking about it? Because if the feeling goes away with certain distractions/ not thinking about it then that's the key to breaking your problem. Also, it is possible this problem is genetic because you state you have two male siblings, well if you're the youngest of a large family your genetic make up can make you attracted to the same sex whether you can help it or not. I know you have a girlfriend, hence you're not gay, but a lot of Transgender are, which makes your case rather interesting. It's difficult because there isn't any straight answer (for instance if you actually wanted to be female and you were prepared to loose everything to fulfill this wish then your answer is obvious, go for the change) but you don't want to be female and loose everything, you just want to get rid of this feeling, well I would just try my previous suggestions and see how that works out. The only other suggestion to help you is, do something fun, like IF you think/ crave being female then just make a jar where you place 5cents in and soon enough you wont want to think about it, it'll cost you. You could also distract yourself, like if you start thinking about it then make sure you use other means to occupy your thoughts I.E your Girlfriend, read a book, watch some TV, anything to distract you from the matter at hand, then in time you'll no longer worry about it/ think about it and your feeling will die. It's just if this feeling keeps growing and stays with you, sooner or later your Girlfriend will find out as you'll feel no escape and it's most likely going to break her/your heart. Because the build up will become so extreme you just have to let the world know and I know you don't ever want it to amount to that. Keep me posted on how everything is going okay because I know there isn't really anyone you can talk to about these feelings and I/ everyone else following this forum does care for your wellbeing.

actually no, i feel that when i masturbate and i don't Orgasm i get VERY cranky and moody im also more horney after as i havn't releaved myself and i think it builds my moodyness... and when i DO Orgasm, im VERY relaxed and content im rather different, i don't know... are anyother females like this?

Well I'm glad you're happy with your life at the moment. Yes, I can tell your Girlfriend means the world to you, telling her would be a BIG mistake as I can amagon she would have a problem with it. I personally don't know her, so I can't say but I'd think if you were to go through with anything like that, you would loose her because even though she loves you for YOU, no matter how "perfect" she may think you are, she does actually love the fact that you're Male, I mean lets face it, if your Girlfriend was male, you WOULDN'T have that same feeling for her. So, you're happy with your life, you have an amazing Girlfriend that loves you very much and things seem to be going well. Honestly, like you say, you SHOULDN'T be feeling like this still. I know that what you're feeling, is something that just CAN'T go away over night, as it's been with you, for a LARGE portion of your life, so it's difficult to help, all I can really say is just think of it like this, it's ALL in your head, being Female is NOT that answer to any internal problems and its NOT worth loosing loved ones over, I'm sorry but it WONT solve any family problems either. Some steps to helping overcome your Female need: -STOP looking/ researching about the Female body, it's like an Ex- smoker going into a shop, buying a packet and then smelling each smoke, of course the craving will become greater! -If your Girlfriend starts talking about anything overly Female, I.E Periods then just change the subject or tell her you're feeling uncomfortable. -STOP thinking about it, if you do end up thinking that way, just remember, your Girlfriend WOULDN'T be with you if you were female. I hope this has been alittle more insightful, but please, jut be happy for who you are, you're Unique and special, and I'm sure someone (your Girlfriend) Loves you VERY much and will be there for you no matter what, that being said… This may sound weird, but I think if anything, your Girlfriend will be your cure.

my dreams of late have been concerning me: i currently have a boyfriend and love him dearly, we spend alot of time together and get on well. thought as of late, ive been having dreams about one of our friends, he, in stature looks similar to my boyfriend though his personality rather different. everynight i seem to be having the same dream THE DREAM: our male friend,lets call him Bob and i were sitting down enjoying our Lunch in our work lunchroom, Bob was informing me about how my boyfriend, lets call him Sam was starting to have feelings for my best female friend. I being very annoyed at this coment stormed out, to go see Sam and make sure this was all just a horrible lie. Anyway, i found my boyfriend flirting with my best friend, he was almost all over her, angus, i went back to where Bob was, he suported me, telling me everything will be ok and that i didnt need Sam, then one thing led to another and Bob and i were making out, and undressing (sex scene) on these cousions in the staff room. After we both went hand in hand back to where Sam was, only this time when i saw him, he was telling me that my best friend was infact gay and that she had a major crush on me and he was telling her that, NO, i don't have the same feelings... then all i remember after that was Bob and i having a major pashing session under the stars

hmm, interesting topic there, well from what you've just said, it sounds like this boyfriend still loves his ex, the only way to know what is going on for sure is to talk! althought, that said, maybe he telling you all about her and his past feelings is just a way of letting you know that when he falls, he falls bad, and hes ever hopeful that you wont break his heart. im sure he DOES love you, just as much or if not more than he lover his ex, you just have to trust him and tell him about your feelings, let him know that your worried. If he does truly love you he'll reasure you that you have nothing to worry about

LOL, thats an interesting place to want to kiss your girlfriend. Well, yeah, your idea of during love scenes would probably be the best time to kiss her, but be waned, that could also be a suggestion that you want to take things further in your relationship as having a hard core pashing session with your girlfriend during a "love" scene would probably suggest sumthing else.

well im an 18 year old Female what you are describing seems VERY normal to me, i wouldn't worry about it if i were you. yes, i HAVE to masturbate i have ever since i was 11years old, i often feel "yucky" and "guilty" after, i know its nothing to boast about but i just can't help it; sometimes when im with my Boyfriend i just get SO horney so after i've been with him, i HAVE to do the "deed" that evening. Im not ashamed, i know its just the human body and its all natural. But if i don't after a period of time i get edgy and snappy, the fact that you hold out at least two weeks is VERY good for a guy of your age, im impressed Seriously DON'T WORRY about it, your time will come when you'll have sex, and i guess the more you have it, the less you'll need to masturbate and also as you age the "need" becomes less So now when you masturbate, doin't think of it like that, think of it as a way in which you can explore your body and find out what you like and don't like so when you're with your partner you can instruct them on what you like to make the experence as pleasurable as possible. MASTURBATION IS NORMAL

What your saying is rather concerning, maybe you should talk to your Girlfriend about it or seek advice from others. But if you were to choose that life you do realize that you're most likely going to loose her and most of your friends, as there are alot of people that have a problem with Transgenders. Look, just think of it like this; you are who you are, that's the way god made you, be happy for who you are and except that! Think of it like this, if you were born female there's NOWAY you'd ever have got your Girlfriend, you'd be intrested in Males. I'm female, im happy with my current sex and there's nothing I'd change, I think you're NOT happy with yourself and by changing your sex you feel it's like revamping yourself and you can start life over with a fresh. I just hope you realize that by doing this you are going to loose almost EVERYTHING (including the ones you love; Girlfriend) You say you love our Girlfriend dearly, exactly why is that; because she's female? Because you wish that you were infact her? (I'm sorry if these guesses are wrong) But exactly why do you want to be female? What is that you don't have in yourself that makes you crave being female? I think maybe it is related to your horrible home life, but I'd defiantly seek help, let's face it, what you're feeling isn't normal. I think you just need to look at yourself in the mirror look at what's good in your life (even though it doesn't seem like much) and just remember you'd loose ALL that if you were to change and I VERY much doubt your life would improve as ALOT of people would view you as a freak. Being Female has its ups and downs, it's not all that great, as I'm sure being male would have the same effect. Just remember you are who you are and that's the way god made you, when you look at yourself look at what's good, NOT bad and I'm sure in time you'll come to like who you are possibly even LOVE who are. I hope this advice helped you, and I do hope everything works out for you