what to do?!

[mephesto56]

I was dumped last week by my boyfriend of two years. He says he doesn't want a girlfriend right now, and that he will never go out with me again. But he says I didn't do anything wrong at all, and its not me. Then why won't he ever go out with me? That doesn't make too much sense to me. We still talk sometimes, and last night he asked me if I will be his "booty call", as he worded it. I said maybe. Then this morning I asked him if he will be my booty call, to see if he was just kidding, but apparently he isnt. I still love him sooo much. I guess I would still be physical with him if he wasn't with anyone else, which he isn't. But I don't know if it will be difficult for me to handle it emotionally. This has happened before, but we got back together. I think that maybe if we got physical he might become emotional and want me back, but then again he might not. I don't think I would mind being "used", if thats what you would call it, because basically I would be doing the same thing to him. I want him back really badly, but I don't know if thats possible right now. Obviously he still likes me. I think I will do it. But any non-physical ways of winning him over would be nice hehe. Any input would be good.

[San123]

Well you are being used, he even admitted it by asking you to be a "booty call". You said you don't mind being used which is sad, but if you have no more self confidence and self respect than that there is really nothing to advise you on. He is getting what he wants so why would he want to be in a relationship?

[lady00]

please don't do the friends with benefits thing. I can almost guarantee that you will get hurt. He doesn't want the relationship but you do. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve (a loving relationship). In my opinion, if he broke up with you then he should have to deal with your absense. I'd say definitely don't hook up with him. Just try to keep your distance. If he really cares about you, he'll be upset that he is losing you and will ask for you back. Stay strong and don't let him use you.

[mephesto56]

well really im using him to be frank. its always on my terms. but i see where you are coming from. Its just that I know how to manipulate him. I'm as bad as him I suppose. But I know what I'm doing. It doesn't really have anything to do with confidence or self respect. I'm just very open in that way, its not as big of a deal to me. Its not that I need to do this to feel needed. That would be no self confidence. Its just a way to manipulate.

[EatZ]

I'm sorry mephesto, but I see nothing but hurt coming if you do this.

 

You said you love him sooo much and you want him back really badly, so the whole "I'd only be using him" argument is already out the window. The idea that having sex with him will make him emotional and want you back is a hazy one at best. It's normally girls that feel post-coital attachment, not guys.

 

People can change though, and I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, or that he won't come back. But would you feel good knowing that you manipulated him back into a relationship, or would you feel better if he came back on his own accord?

 

If you want him back and want him back for good, make sure you get to the core of the problem that caused this break up in the first place. The relationship will be doomed to the same fate as before if you just assume "3rd time lucky".