Iheartbacon Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 To sum it up, I briefly dated a guy at the beginning of the year. Nice guy, really liked him but I felt like i was having to chase him some and he works most nights, he's a single dad and we lived accross town from each other, so our schedules just really conflicted and it made dating hard. He ended things, telling me that he had too much going on and really shouldn't be dating right now. I took it as a nice blow off and we remained cordial after that. Recently found out that we're actually living like 2 streets away from each other now and have bumped into him several times in the past few months. Last Monday he texts me out of the blue w/some chit chat and then says "we should hang out sometime...if you'd like to that is". I was a bit surprised and didn't reply until the next day, kept it friendly and said that I would be up for hanging out sometime and catching up. No reply. Not a huge shocker since he's not an avid texter but still annoying. So anyhow, last night I briefly ended up at the bar where he works w/some friends. He made an effort to come by and chat a bit when he had a free moment but nothing was said regarding the text. I'm of the school that if a guy is interested he WILL ask you out but then this guy was married most of his 20's and hasn't done a ton of dating and I didn't have a problem asking him to do things the first time around. Do I just wait and see or should I initiate something? I really don't want to feel like I'm chasing someone again. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 You just wait for him to follow up, as you have accepted his offer of hanging out. Link to comment
woodsrose10 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 You should call him & casually ask if he received your text. Since he did ask you out, it sounds like he's interested. It also sounds like the only real reason he broke it off with you was because it wasn't going to work. Maybe now it will. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 You should call him & casually ask if he received your text. Since he did ask you out, it sounds like he's interested. It also sounds like the only real reason he broke it off with you was because it wasn't going to work. Maybe now it will. No don't do this. If he did not receive the text he would re-text, or he would have mentioned it at the bar. She said she does not want to chase him. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 No don't do this. If he did not receive the text he would re-text, or he would have mentioned it at the bar. She said she does not want to chase him. Yeah I'd rather just ask a guy out then ask him if he received my text, something about it just seems like it would sound somewhat desperate on my part.. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Yeah I'd rather just ask a guy out then ask him if he received my text, something about it just seems like it would sound somewhat desperate on my part.. The thing is, he knows he sent the text because you did indeed receive it. And you replied. It does not matter to worry about if he received your acceptance text. Because even on the slight chance he did not receive it, he would follow up with you. And that should have been at the bar that night. So just play it cool, and play the waiting game even tho it sux lol Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He's already told you that he's very busy and cannot commit to a relationship. He's doing both you and him a favor by saying that. He doesn't think he has the time or the resources to give a relationship all that it needs (in his mind). While it certainly sucks in one way, in another way he's telling you up front that he's not ready or is incapable of having a relationship right now. Personally I would move on and date other people but at the same time be receptive towards him on a friendly basis. Who knows, in a few months or a year he might be ready for a relationship, at least when he is you'll know you'll be getting all of his attention rather than half of it right now. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He's already told you that he's very busy and cannot commit to a relationship. He's doing both you and him a favor by saying that. He doesn't think he has the time or the resources to give a relationship all that it needs (in his mind). While it certainly sucks in one way, in another way he's telling you up front that he's not ready or is incapable of having a relationship right now. Personally I would move on and date other people but at the same time be receptive towards him on a friendly basis. Who knows, in a few months or a year he might be ready for a relationship, at least when he is you'll know you'll be getting all of his attention rather than half of it right now. I agree with this too, you should date other people in the mean-time. Because "hanging out" could imply he will just text you randomly at anytime, any day, when he's bored or when he's got free time. That could be two weeks from now, a month etc etc. So instead of waiting around, go and date some more fellas! Link to comment
RedDress Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He likes you but he's not that into you. If he was crazy about you, he would have found a way to make it work the first time. He just... couldn't really be bothered with it all. Then he moves to your area and thinks "I don't really know anyone around here. Oh hey! I should give that girl a call!". You see... it sounded like a good idea to him at the time... but he's still just not that into it. I wouldn't even really bother with it, to be honest. For whatever reason (and it may or may not have anything to do with you) - he is not "in" it. You'll just find yourself chasing him again... Ball is in his court. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 I agree with this too, you should date other people in the mean-time. Because "hanging out" could imply he will just text you randomly at anytime, any day, when he's bored or when he's got free time. That could be two weeks from now, a month etc etc. So instead of waiting around, go and date some more fellas! The guy dumped me in February, I haven't been waiting around for him the past 10 months, I avidly date...don't worry . I just thought he might be worth a second chance. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 He likes you but he's not that into you. If he was crazy about you, he would have found a way to make it work the first time. He just... couldn't really be bothered with it all. Then he moves to your area and thinks "I don't really know anyone around here. Oh hey! I should give that girl a call!". You see... it sounded like a good idea to him at the time... but he's still just not that into it. I wouldn't even really bother with it, to be honest. For whatever reason (and it may or may not have anything to do with you) - he is not "in" it. You'll just find yourself chasing him again... Ball is in his court. Very well could be he's just not that into me but he knows plenty of people in the area and is an attractive guy so I don't know that he was contacting me out of sheer boredom. Eh, I guess I got my answer anyhow...if he can't be bothered than either can I. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Oh ****, that's my twin. I do that kind of thing too-to be polite but if people respond receptively and I am not really in to seeing them, I just don't text back. Don't chase him. next time, i dare you to ignore him because that will make his head spin. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Oh ****, that's my twin. I do that kind of thing too-to be polite but if people respond receptively and I am not really in to seeing them, I just don't text back. Don't chase him. next time, i dare you to ignore him because that will make his head spin. Hahaaa, well he is overly polite. He's the type that had to ask if he could kiss me when we first started dating..definitely not an aggressive or super confident guy. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Hahaaa, well he is overly polite. He's the type that had to ask if he could kiss me when we first started dating..definitely not an aggressive or super confident guy. I sense he's a passive person.... He's probably one of those guys who will never try to win a girl's heart or desire. A guy like that usually will be with someone who can fuel their spark plug. My friend is like this and it's no wonder he always got involve with psycho chicks. You don't have to be a psycho chick, just be a trip to him. Ignore him next time - if he does like you enough, he'll contact you and try to call u out on why u were ignoring him. I am not saying play games, just ignore him because he deserves it. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 I sense he's a passive person.... He's probably one of those guys who will never try to win a girl's heart or desire. A guy like that usually will be with someone who can fuel their spark plug. My friend is like this and it's no wonder he always got involve with psycho chicks. You don't have to be a psycho chick, just be a trip to him. Ignore him next time - if he does like you enough, he'll contact you and try to call u out on why u were ignoring him. I am not saying play games, just ignore him because he deserves it. Don't think that's the case here, he was married for 7 years (to the mother of his child) and had an 8 month relationship after that, as far as I know neither are psychos. If anything he just seems socially awkward when it comes to dating. Anyhow, I have been the aggressor w/him in the past so my guess is that he's waiting for history to repeat itself and sent me the text to get the ball rolling again. So yeah, he's basically not into me enough to make any more effort than that I guess. Link to comment
greywolf Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Well, since he did ask you if you want to hang out, I think it'll be ok to casually ask him out to something. I don't think that makes you the one that's chasing him. Link to comment
Iheartbacon Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Just an update for anyone interested.....against my better judgement I called him Sat night while he was at work and left a voice mail. I said that I had gotten his text, not sure he got my reply, so if he wanted to hang out sometime or grab a drink after work one day to give me a call, if not that was ok too. Of course I have not heard a word back and probably won't but I don't feel bad about calling actually, at least I'm not being the weird, flaky one. Link to comment
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