If my ex didn't jump to new man, we'd still be together

[herewegoagain]

I don't now if this is good or bad, but I'm positive that if my ex didn't jump to a new man so quickly (within days) she would have given us a chance. At first, she said she just wanted space, but after a week of her space, she found a new man (or already had him waiting).

 

My point is, it's a shame when a person just does not give herself/himself time to be alone for a while to really think about things. It seems that a lot of people just give up too easily because they want to experience the new person and have fun with all the "newness."

 

I know my ex gf has no regrets about me because she is having the time of her life right now with her new man (I've seen them out together a couple of times already). She did not give herself any time at all to think about things. rather, she jumped in the sack with a new man so quickly.

 

So to many of you on this forum whos ex is not with someone else yet - that is a good sign because i guarentee they are at least thinking of you. But if you are in my situation - IT's BEST TO MOVE ON. It's hard, but we have to.

 

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[otrebla]

Hello herewegoagain.

In some cases it's not because the don't want to give themselves time to be alone, they just can't be alone, or, they dumped us for the other person.

My ex gf had a boyfriend just the same day she broke up with me

and is having the time of her life too.

We the ones in this situation, don't have any immediate chance from the start, it's hard to accept it but as you say it, we must and move on.

I feel bad for me, but I feel worse for her, if she have no time alone to learn

from this, and look it in another perspective, she will never learn and will be dumping boys until she's old.

[Mun]

I may be wrong, but I have a different take on things:

 

I think that when a person jumps right into a new relationship then it is just a sign that they had one foot out the door for awhile--they had just not had the guts to walk out yet.

 

When this happens I think the best thing is to try and move on as soon as possible. No sense in wasting any more time on someone who could leave so soon and without any apparent remorse. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it will hurt any less.

[if only]

My ex dumped me after 5 years and within a week he was dating someone else.

 

This has been the case for all his past relationships and i knew it would be no different to ours. When we split I guaranteed him that within 2 months he would find someone else he said he didnt want anyone else and if he wanted a relationship we would stay together.

 

We split in his own words for him to be single and learn who he is as he had never experienced this before and was not ready to settle down which is what would happen if we stayed together.

 

I met up with him a couple of months later when I first found out, obviously i was upset and he said he didnt mean it to happen it just did. He truly broke up with me to be single.

 

Still to this day I do not understand why we broke up and it does not matter to me anymore. But I really feel that he cant be on his own (his history proves it) and he is/was using the girl to deal with his emotions. I also believe he would have come back if he didnt meet her.

[rich46]

I also believe he would have come back if he didnt meet her.

He may well have come back, but the same thing would have happened further down the line. People like that will just keep jumping from relationship to relationship - they'll never be truly satisfied with what they've got.

 

Rich

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Yeah I agree with the post somewhat..

My ex broke up with me a year ago and started dating someone a week later.Someone she met online while chatting and to this day I think they are still together after I think breaking up 3 times during the past year..We were together for 3 years and lived together for 2.5 years of that time and it hurt that she moved so quickly to the new guy. Supposivle all her parents and friends hate him.. I still talk to her sister the odd time and that is what she told me..

Anyways I think the point is that many of these people that move on so quickly are very co-dependant..they always need someone around them. Too bad because she'll learn the hard way..oh well.. I think that of the past 10 years the longest she has ever been single was 2 months and 3-4 different boyfriends...

It's been a tough year but I'm finally feeling really good and to meet that next special person..

[herewegoagain]

I agree with you all, and i know now that my ex gf cannot be alone (I should have known this from the start form her past), and she would have never had the guts to leave me unless she had someone else waiting. I still can't undertsand what happened - One day she told me I'm the one for her, etc, then literally the next day dumped me and soon started dating her new man.

 

Another point is that I thought that after being together for 4 1/2 years, she would have worked things out, or at least tried to. Again, she would have, but her new man seemed better to her.