So there's this guy...

[pursuits]

We’ve somewhat been dating for like 2 months, but nothing official, no labels which is starting to be a problem. It started as a one night stand, after a late night meeting for a club we’re both in. It was absolutely amazing, some of the best sex of my life. I’ve been into him for a bit even though I had an awkward past with one of his roommates, I didn’t want this to be a one-time thing. We ended up spending the day after together building a sweatlodge on his friend’s property. Later that week we hung out a few times, hooked up again. We have a lot of common interests so it’s really easy to find reasons to go over to his place. The following weekend was a camping trip with the group we’re in. The second night a bunch of us ended up sleeping under the stars around a campfire. He cuddled with me and kissed me but I wasn’t sure how public our relationship was, (I’m still not entirely sure) so it was a little weird. A few friends picked up on it and asked if we were dating, I didn’t have an answer (still don’t). Others I think just kinda guessed that we hooked up. Since then I’m over his house a couple nights a week, we usually hook up, occasionally I spend the night. He asks me to pretty often but I have early classes everyday. (The one night I can sleepover is the night that his roommates religiously go to the bar, but he usually passes it up for me.) He does stuff a significant other would normally do, holds my hand on long drives, puts his arm around me when we walk. He’s made me a couple presents and given me tons of materials for my own projects. I’ve meet his sister when she came to town but I don’t think he told the rest of his family about me. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue for me; I wouldn’t push it, just see how things go. I’m a little concerned because I don’t know if we’re exclusive. (I’m not hooking up with anyone else but we just had thanksgiving break so it’s possible that he did) Although it wouldn’t be a huge deal because I like a little freedom. But…he’s graduating in 3 weeks and going to live with the Aborigines in Australia for 5 months. And then he’s living in the woods in New Jersey Pine Barrens for a year and I’m going to a super-remote, testosterone-drenched (60 guys to 5 chicks) forestry school in the ADK for a year. So basically a year and a half with pretty limited communication, no cell phones, probably just email or facebook when either of us can get to a computer. It’s possibly that we both might be working in the area we are now over the summer. So here’s my query…is it too short to be thinking about trying long distance overseas? Is this just about sex for him? Obviously I really like him or else this wouldn’t be keeping me up at night so how do I start this conversation with him without coming off clingy or crazy? A few weeks ago he mentioned that it was crazy that we had only known each other for like a month at the time and soon we wouldn’t see each other for a year and half, that I was special and he really likes me. We haven’t talked about it since expect rarely when I mention my plans for next semester or when he talks about the short overlap time in the beginning of summer.

[youngnaive]

I would recommend not trying to make it work long distance. I just got out of a similar situation. I dated a girl for 7 weeks, we thought the world of each other, and tried to make it work while she studied abroad for 4 months. It didn't work, and that was with, access to skype, gmail, fb, etc. The biggest mistake we made was not talking about it more before she left.

 

Honestly, if you don't trust him/feel comfortable enough to talk with him about it now, how are you going to be able to trust him for a year and a half while he is gone. Don't waste these wonderful opportunities both of you have by trying to make something work that isn't tested yet.