danzeryan1 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, lived with him and just a couple of weeks ago we had a major argument, we basically called it a day and i decided to take time off work because i was that upset. I kept this from him because that night i was so upset i kept saying to him " i cant go into work" and he said if i didn't go into work that we were categorically over! The next morning after sleeping in separate beds we made up and he said we will talk later but it was too late as i phoned in sick during the night but i pretended to him i was going into work. My sister phoned me and we planned to go into London for the day which was a massive mistake! We lost track of time and Hugh phoned me and figured it out that i didn't go into work so he told me not to return and go to my sisters as he wanted the day to himself. I was pretty angry at this command as it was my flat too but i went to my sisters. I returned on the Saturday night after he also demanded that i not come back till after 8pm! He had some drink in him but i wanted to talk, he kept saying " in the morning" that he was not in the right frame of mind to have a serious conversation but i gave him the whole day and now i wanted to talk but he was just getting angrier and more impatient. Out of sheer frustration i jumped off my seat and gave him a slap and instantly he punched me in the face, i was completely shocked and uncontrollably crying and i shouted at him again and he pushed me on the ground. I ran into the spare room and just kept crying and came out after a time and tried to talk to him and told him to say sorry which he did and then he just kept putting off talking to me and then because i wouldn't give up he started calling me every name under the sun which deeply hurt me. I went to bed and just got into a panic that i rang my friend and she told me to get down to her but i couldn't move then i phoned my sister and told her. Her and her husband drove 3 hours to get me even through i begged them not to get me, they phoned the police and i begged them not to. All this time he was unaware. i Came out and told him and he didn't seem phased that my brother in law phoned the police on him. I told him i was going to my sisters for a few days but when i got to hers, i decided to basically let my brother in law do all my decisions for me so basically i quit my job, and decided to leave the UK which i lived for 5 years to go back to Ireland. My brother in law refused to let me tell Hugh and cut all contact with him, my bro in law even drove to the flat to collect all my things without Hugh knowing. When Hugh found out he was absolutely devastated that i would leave without saying good bye. He sent me emails saying he loves me and that what he did was awful and that he vowed when he was young that he would not turn out like his dad and never lay a hand on a woman. He said he wants me back and that i am the one for him. Basically ive been miserable ever since i've moved home, my life has been torn apart, a life that i had in the UK. Now i feel ive lost my job, flat, my boyfriend and my independence as i am living with my folks and struggling to look for jobs here. I really want to go back and be with him. For both of us this has been a rude awakening. I need advice badly i am severely depressed, I really do love him and he loves me we have been talking on the phone every night and its been nice, he told me that i need to give Ireland a chance and see what i really want and if i really love him as much as he does. Link to comment
DN Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Let's be clear - you started the violence? Have you apologised for slapping him? Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Stay In Ireland. Link to comment
danzeryan1 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 I have more than apoligised for slapping him, i know i started it but regardless he has realized im the love of his life and he doesn't want to be with anyone else. I ve been nothing but miserable since ive been home, its cant be just the end for us. Link to comment
danzeryan1 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Any other advice out there would be really appreciated! Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Let's be clear - you started the violence? Have you apologised for slapping him?A open-hand hit (slap) is way different than a using your closed fist. I wouldn't have stayed with him after that. I wouldn't apologized either. Link to comment
DN Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 A open-hand hit (slap) is way different than a using your closed fist. I wouldn't have stayed with him after that. I wouldn't apologized either.It is still violence - and should not be excused by what happens subsequently. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 It is still violence - and should not be excused by what happens subsequently.Yes it is still violence but let's say I only slapped and the man punches soo hard that it lands me in the hospital with a fractured jaw. Would you still think I should apologized too? Link to comment
DN Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Yes it is still violence but let's say I only slapped and the man punches soo hard that it lands me in the hospital with a fractured jaw. Would you still think I should apologized too?Yes, of course. I know you like to debate threads about violence so that will be my last word on this subject. Link to comment
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