his ex-girlfriend spoils things!

[SmintyMinty]

Hey there! I've been seeing a lovely guy for the past 4 months. everything is great, we've even been away on holiday together but the only arguments we've had are over one of his ex-girlfriends who he is still good friends with.

 

When I first met her she was rude to me and acted like she could still call the shots with him. That was a few months ago. since then he's been behind my back and seen her without telling me until afterwards and I was very upset and we rowed. He just moved and she emailed him and wants to visit him at his new flat. he told me and i felt funny about it. she still wants him back but from what he's said she was a friend he slept with for a year and he didn't love her but she wanted to settle down with him.

 

I always have a bad gut feeling bout her and we always row when he brings her up. he knows i don't like her but it feels like he always defends her and will see her even if he knows it will upset me. not sure how to deal with it - if she wasn't a rude to me when I first met her i wouldn't have a problem!

 

the last 2 times we nearly split up cos we were rowing about her and i had enough. I don't want to tell him he can't see her anymore and I know I got no right to ask him to do that but it really upsets me. her bloke dumped her a few months ago and since then she's after him again. he doesn't stop her either and i think he just likes the attention.

 

what you think i should do??? i don't like her, will never like her and he will keep seeing her even though he knows i don't like her. i am so tired and fed up of this same situation happening over and over again. the worst thing is everything is going so well and the only problem I have is with HER! He can't see that she has a problem with me or that she was even rude to me the first time we met and I'm annoyed that he can't see what she's really like!

 

 

Please can someone help me out here!? i don't want to split up with him but I can't take it if this carries on! I have commitment-phobia issues and I tend to break off relationships instead of working through problems but I'm trying really hard with this guy as he's different to the others and I think I'm falling in love with him already and it scares me to hell! what can i do? anyone been in a similar situation??

 

thanks!

[evepm]

Dear SmintyMinty:

 

This girl does NOT respect your relationship with him. If she were truly just his friend, she would have respected you and treated you with kindness. I am friends with an ex and he has always been respectful of a new b/f. He has even backed off when I have been seeing someone. Anytime I have been dating someone else I have always done everything possible to make the person I'm seeing comfortable about my friendship with my ex.

 

This guy isn't even respecting you! I have never snuck around to see my ex. I think you should take a good look at how he treats you.

 

Take Care,

Eve

[lady00]

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