What to do??

[BlueEyes77]

Long story…”Mike” and I met at the gym a couple of years ago. We started seeing each other and fell in love, but he was very fearful of getting too close b/c he was married for 20+ years and his wife had left him. He said he could not bear going through that again. Every time we got really close (and he was the one who first started saying “I love you,”), he backed way off but still said he would always love me. He treated me poorly (verbally) several times when he got scared, so I ended it. Since then we have bumped into each other and talked, and also text from time to time to stay in touch.

 

A couple of weeks ago he started texting me a lot and was being very suggestive as to what he’d like to do together. I was not sure how to respond. This past weekend he showed up at my house. When I answered the door, he immediately told me he is “kind of seeing someone.” I told him I thought he didn’t want a relationship with anyone, and he replied that he “really doesn’t.” I said that makes no sense. He then hugged me passionately, and I asked if he was still in love with me, and he replied, “Yes, and I always will be.” I said that if he is still seeking me out, he cannot be too happy in his dating relationship, and he agreed. He says he never cheated on his wife in more than 20 years of marriage.

 

We ended up going inside and talking, and you know where that led. It was the most loving, passionate, mind-blowing physical experience for both of us. We talked a bit afterward about his fears, and his past poor treatment of me, and we discussed how I can be too “clingy” and that pushes him away (I agree).

I have decided I will let him make the next move, but it is so hard for me, because what we have is so strong and good and obviously is not going away, which we both agreed. But on the other hand, he is dating someone else – not me. I should mention that he has self-esteem issues, and I think he (erroneously) believes I am “above” him in some ways because I have a very successful career and am highly educated, while he is blue-collar, but I do not care about those things. I truly love him the way he is and just wish he would give us a chance. I do feel bad that he cheated on this person, but I have no idea what type of relationship he has with her.

 

Any advice? Am I just a fool for love?

[Furbys]

Well if he cheated on her then he would do it to you. Sounds like he can't do commitment anymore because of his marriage breakdown and hes proven this by sleeping with you when he is dating this other girl. I would really open your eyes to this and see he isn't as innocent as he makes out.

[WindowTo]

Stop being clingy. The harder you hold on, the more he will escape you. You need to love people for who they are without unrealistic notions that they are just going to up and leave you or it will sabotage your relationships.

[HeartGoesOn]

Not to sound harsh, but no matter how you slice it, if he wanted to be with you he would, and nothing would stand in his way. Be careful not to place yourself in the position of being the other woman, as I'm sure you know that never ends well.

 

Hopefully you make the right choice...