Depressed

[Blondiegirl]

My boyfriend told me to give him space which I am but it is really starting to take a toll on me emotionally. I feel like I lost a best mate and it is bothering me. I tried sending him a funny joke in hopes of maybe getting his attention but that didn't even work he just ignored me. I didn't think giving him space would bother me because I was upset with him but now it is starting to bother me and I am becoming depressed and feeling worthless.

[kat9937]

First - never let any "man" make you feel worthless because they are not a man then. You are responsible for your own happiness...if someone is making you feel this way, they deserve not one ounce of your time. I guarantee if there was another guy who came around right now that you liked, you wouldn't even be thinking about THIS guy. One day you will look back and think "what was I thinking?!"

 

What you have to do is keep busy - look happy - NEVER let this guy think he is emotionally controlling you in this way because it shows that he can have you whenever he wants you. There is no chase...no thrill for him...no attraction. Guys are attracted to girls who are happy...have a life outside of the guy...show that they don't need this man to be happy.

 

I think you should ditch him seriously....but if you want anything to happen - you have to follow the no-contact rule. Ignore him...let him start to wonder what you are doing. if he contacts you, be cheery...keep it quick...say you are busy and you will call him back...but don't...call back in a day or 2... He is ignoring you and you want him even more right? WELL Hello - do the same back! Make sense? Take care....you will be ok. Never lose your self respect.

[chitown9]

My boyfriend told me to give him space. I tried sending him a funny joke.

 

Do you see the problem here....

[ToF]

How long have you been together?

 

I think "ditching" him when he's having some obvious emotional turmoil might be a little drastic, however I do agree that you need to stop depending on him for your feeling of self-worth. I have a partner who struggles with depression, and I would be sorely disappointed if I constantly expected him to provide me with my feelings of worth. That is A LOT of pressure to put on one person, let alone someone who is probably feeling pretty worthless himself.

 

If you feel like contacting him (like sending him funny jokes) then do it ... But only with the understanding that you will likely not receive anything in return right now. He has asked you for space, and if you want to remain in this relationship you are going to have to respect that. Find other ways to fill your time.

[Blondiegirl]

I just hate for him to be a wanker and NC for a long time and avoid our problems. I have had boyfriends in the past who have dumped me via e-mail or just stop contacting me which is a very cowardly thing to do and I worry he will do the same. I know he may be upset with me not because of me necessarily but maybe upset with himself and his actions. I just happened to call him on his actions and he got upset and told me to give him some space.I should add that even though he isn't calling or texting me on my mobile he is still playing Halo with me online which means he isn't too upset but he just isn't contacting me. Make any sense?? Why play an online game with me but not talk to me? If he wants his space he shouldn't be playing Halo because that just gives me hope and is a bit misleading.