Crush on TA - Part 2

[prettyname]

Hi Everyone, Last week I wrote about the TA I had a crush on. Well, he clearly likes me. This week he was very nice to me and it made me confused. I don't know how to respond because the situation is complicated. Well, basically what happened was the TA flirted with me. The stopped. Then I wore a daytime sexy outfit to class (black leggings and a not tight black sweater) showing my best features. Then he immediately started paying attention to me again. Is he just interested because he thinks I want to sleep with him because I dressed sexy?

[Capricorn3]

Did you intentionally dress sexy so as to get attention from him after you noticed he stopped flirting with you? It sounds like you're leading him on so I'm not surprised he paid attention again. Be careful not to play with fire.

[prettyname]

Well, no. I wore a long black parka to class (and came in late) last class. At this class he saw my long black parka (ankle length) and he did not pay attention or talk to me for the whole class (except to tell me to clean my lab table). I took off the long black parka and changed into my lab coat at my table so he did not see the sexy outfit until the end of class. I hung up my parka wearing my lab coat. Then after the lab I took off the lab coat at my desk and stood up in the sexy outfit, walked to the coat rack, grabbed the long black parka, and left the class. When I went to the coat rack he immediately followed me and I blew past him.

 

I think I was testing him to see if he would be nice to me in non-sexy clothes. Then class this week, after seeing the sexy outfit from last week, he was *really* nice to me. Perhaps he could tell how pissed I was that he ignored me so it made him like me more (or made him realize I liked him). Perhaps it was that + the sexy outfit.

 

I would not dress sexy with no interest. I don't want people talking bad about me and I don't lead guys on (I am very shy). I wore that outfit because I do like him and because wearing a sexy outfit would make class more interesting/fun for me.

[Capricorn3]

I think I was testing him - Perhaps he could tell how pissed I was that he ignored me so it made him like me more Perhaps it was that + the sexy outfit.

 

I would not dress sexy with no interest. I don't want people talking bad about me and I don't lead guys on (I am very shy). .

Ahh, so you admit to testing him (which is pretty obvious). I think you contradict yourself when you say you don't lead guys on, but then in the very same sentence you talk about specifically dressing sexy to get attention. Like I said before, you're possibly playing with fire here.

[prettyname]

Ahh, so you admit to testing him (which is pretty obvious). I think you contradict yourself when you say you don't lead guys on, but then in the very same sentence you talk about specifically dressing sexy to get attention. Like I said before, you're possibly playing with fire here.

 

Why are you saying he could/should rape me because I look better than you do? Also, I do not habitually dress sexy and I certainly do not do so to get male attention. (ew I mean really. really?)! I wore leggings and a loose black sweater.

[Capricorn3]

Why are you saying he could/should rape me because I look better than you do?

Excuse me? Please don't put words in my mouth. I said nothing of the sort. You missed the entire point. Maybe someone else will have better luck.

[prettyname]

Excuse me? Please don't put words in my mouth. I said nothing of the sort. You missed the entire point. Maybe someone else will have better luck.

 

Please explain how I could be "playing with fire" if I wore a cute outfit to get the attention of a guy I am interested in....

[browneyedgirl36]

Why are you saying he could/should rape me because I look better than you do? Also, I do not habitually dress sexy and I certainly do not do so to get male attention. (ew I mean really. really?)! I wore leggings and a loose black sweater.

 

I don't think capricorn was saying he 'could/should rape' you -- I think she just meant in general that he might feel led on, and that can create problems -- he's your TA, after all. I think her "playing with fire" comments have to do with the fact that he's basically your teacher. Plus, you were the one that said it was a "sexy outfit" and now you're saying it was just "leggings and a loose black sweater." So, are you saying it wasn't a sexy outfit? And, you said earlier that you dressed that way on purpose because you thought "wearing a sexy outfit would make class more fun for me," which sounds like you were trying to get male attention, which you said in the above post you DON'T do. Very confusing. In any case, I would reiterate what capricorn said -- be careful. Even though he isn't a professor, technically, he IS still a teacher, in a sense, and even if your school has no rule against relationships with TA's, it could have all sorts of consequences, particularly if you get involved with him -- even openly flirting -- while you're still in his class. He could get in trouble, other students could complain that he's showing favoritism toward you -- all sorts of stuff.

 

I'm a college professor, and personally, I don't think professors OR TA's should ever get involved with students, regardless of whether or not the college or university has a policy about it. It might be OK if the student is no longer in the TA's class and never will be again, but...it's just fraught with all sorts of potential difficulties.

[browneyedgirl36]

Also: If this guy is involved in any way with giving you your final grade in the course, there's definitely a conflict of interest there if you were to get involved with him. This is why it's best NOT to pursue these kinds of things until you are no longer the person's student and will never be again.

[prettyname]

It is a nursing prereq class. Aside from the TA and the professor there is one other 40 year old, very low income man, with poor english speaking skills in the class so your claim I am trying to get male attention is pretty funny. The TA is not affiliated with my school nor involved in the grading for the class. I am taking this class at comm college to transfer to my school. Neither him nor I are affiliated with the CC.

 

I have a nice physique which is why the outfit was sexy. If I was not shapely the outfit would not have been sexy.

[browneyedgirl36]

It is a nursing prereq class. Aside from the TA and the professor there is one other 40 year old, very low income man, with poor english speaking skills in the class so your claim I am trying to get male attention is pretty funny. The TA is not affiliated with my school nor involved in the grading for the class. I am taking this class at comm college to transfer to my school. Neither him nor I are affiliated with the CC.

 

My response was based on what you wrote in your original post: In your OWN words, you wore the outfit because you thought that it would make class more fun/interesting for you, which suggests to me that you were trying to get the TA's attention. The fact that he is not in charge of your grade was not included in your original post, nor was the fact that neither of you are affiliated with the community college, so people responding to you would have no way of knowing any of these things.

 

I don't think you really want any advice, so I won't respond further.

[prettyname]

My main concern was he was not nice to me when I didn't wear a sexy outfit and he was nice to me after I did. So does this mean he is nice to me because he thinks I am a * * * * and will sleep with him easily? (because of the sexy outfit) Aren't girls supposed to dress nice when they want to get a guy's attention (men are visual creatures).

[Capricorn3]

Aren't girls supposed to dress nice when they want to get a guy's attention (men are visual creatures).

So you want his attention? Is it because you want to date him? Or do you want him to sleep with you? What exactly is it that you are after?

[prettyname]

So you want his attention? Is it because you want to date him? Or do you want him to sleep with you? What exactly is it that you are after?

 

I do not want to sleep with him casually. I want to date him. I am concerned he became so interested when I wore the FLATTERING outfit. To me that says he is sexually interested and thinks I will be "easy" because I'm impressed by his TA status and am dressing up for him. To go from ignoring someone to being so interested is a pretty far leap... I do not plan to wear sexy clothes for the rest of the semester. I am bothered that I like him. I have a history of crushing on teachers. What made me really like him is this cute girl was talking to him about him bringing something related to the class to her. (this girl is a CC student). So when I saw that she possibly liked him it made it ok for me to like him... Plus, after talking to the girl he came over to me and asked if I needed anything which I thought was sweet. Like, he knew that I liked him and I over heard him talking to this girl so he sort of "checked on" me. But, that was a few weeks ago...