Ball of Confusion...thats what the world is today

[moleculo]

Hey Hey.

 

This, like everything else in life, is complicated. I urge those of you who like your own sanity to look at another post.

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We;ve been friends for about three years

 

Last summer she asked me what I would think about her doing something of a physical nature with her best friend, who is bisexual it seems. I told her hypothetically it was a hot concept but in actuality it would probably really upset me. When discussed it was made clear that if they were to do something, itd be just the two of them. I'm not all that comfortable with watchign two people go at it anyway. So basically we agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Case closed.

 

Fast forward to this summer. I live in a city and she's working in the city but lives outside of it. TO cut costs shes been staying with friends...me mostly. But she stays the night with her best friend and apparently after alcohol and a little pot...stuff happened. As far as I know they made out and she doesnt remember if anything else happened after that.

 

At first glance it doesnt seem so bad and that's what I keep telling myself. But...she lied abou it. She didnt tell me at first...we had an early breakfast the next day. I jokingly said "You called me so early i thought you cheated on me or something" and she laughed it off. When i asked her what they did the night before, I got a total "yadda yadda" That weekend she behaved very strangely, calling me in tears and refusing to explain why...using the standard problems she had as a cover. The next monday I finally asked her point blank if she had done something and she denied it like crazy. She acted like it was a joke at first and then flat out lied to me. And she was a very convincing liar, as by the end she asked me "Look in my eyees. Do you believe me?" And I smiled and said yes. And after a few minutes she said she felt sick and finally came clean.

 

We had a rough few days...I got equally drunlk and nearly made out with a girl but I held back...didn't feel right.

 

So now we're still together and I feel so pathetic...it's been nearly 2 months and I can't get over it. I mean, it is my first cheated on scenario. And also...she's very apologetic and remorseful, but simultaneously, she seems to dodge total responsibility, blaming the alcohol and other substances. Also she lied to me so well and seemingly so easily...It's tough when you feel like you can't trust your best friend. She always used to try to make me jealous, like one of those stupid mind games couiples play, and now she's back at it and it doesn't seem remotely funny anymore. Or appropriate when she calls hanging out with the best friend a "hot date"

 

Part of me feels like I'm overreacting, the other feels like I'm letting myself be pushed around. I just want to get over this...I want to scream out at the top of my lungs but I don't know what I want to say.

 

Alright, well sorry I babbled so much...just needed to get it out. COmmence making fun of me...now.

[mscolly]

You haven't babbled, you've got something off your chest. That's different.

 

It's terrible when we're torn between two desires, one strong but the other deep, the fullfillment of one would seriously risk the other. Let's say that the alcohol and pot helped tip the balance, at least for a few hours. That's what your girlfriend is telling herself, that's why she gives the drugs all of the blame.

 

And that's why she was so upset afterwards. In her right mind she may not have done it, and certainly afterwards she's probably realised it wasn't worth it. She did something selfish, tried to hide it to at least save you some pain, then realised she couldn't live a lie.

 

Believe me, we're all equally capable of doing bad things, given the right excuses and circumstances. She took a great risk in telling you what happened and I don't think she did that just to hurt you. She wanted to clear the air between you, risking everything.

[Mike_Wazowski]

As ole Gramma always used to say 'The world is going to hell in a handbasket'

 

Many people have fantasies.....whatever they are, but most people..I would hazard a guess to say over 98% of us NEVER live those fantasies out. Now I'm talking the deep dark fantasies here........

 

Now your girlfriend lived hers out....I'm sure her and that girl did everything together but wash the kitchen sink even though she said not much actually happened.

 

Now it comes down to this....Can you live with her knowing that she is one of the 2% of those who have and WILL make their fantasies come true????

 

 

One more thing, once you crossed the line into that lifestyle....Bi, 3P, swinging etc....it is very hard to cross back over.......

 

On a different note: Is it just me, or is the site of two chicks getting nasty quite...well....invigorating??? ....two guys however.......VOMIT!!!!!

[moleculo]

That's the biggest problem! Being pissed as all hell and turned on at the same time because it's two women.

 

 

 

Such a pig.

[dakadave]

At least in the end she came clean...

[moleculo]

I suppose. But she made it look damn easy for the four days that she didn't/