erzerum7 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I don't know if this makes me crazy or what, but I am just so embarrassed/ashamed to be perceived as a sexually-orientated or sexually-desirable object by women. I find the thought of flirting, of being attractive, of being desired, unbearable. I've never flirted in my life, being chased by a girl makes me feel sick (I definitely would prefer to be the chaser), I was embarrassed when girls found out I liked them (usually because they would laugh and shun me), I wear frumpy clothes so I can look as much like an old man as possible, slouch intentionally for the same reason, etc. Until recently I preferred to be chubby and not work out so I could definitely not be physically attractive. Background's not important, other than to say I grew up in a highly asexual environment. No friends. My parents were married but I never saw any affection (not even a kiss) between them, and I pretty much know they've had no relations since I was a little kid. Dating was forbidden during middle and high school. My sister was forbidden to wear makeup and both of us were dressed very, very conservatively. Now I find myself having to suddenly become a sexual creature before the whole world. I desire a woman, but putting myself out there, making myself attractive to her, approaching her...I just don't know how, it feels wrong and I feel totally out of place, like a clown. How do I deal with this? If anyone has experience, please advise. Link to comment
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