AllUNeedIsLove Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 So my story is a bit complicating, but ill make it to the point. I dated this guy for a few months but before that we were friends or at least he tried to get to know me more than I did with him. we have the same group of friends. Now when we ended up dating, he always told me that if things by any chance didnt work out that we would still be amazing friends (in which i said I didnt stay friends with exs). Well we broke up and didnt talk for at least a month until he called me to talk things over. we talked things over and had an amazing day together (he thought so too). I thought it was the beginning of a good friendship after all we didnt end things badly. Anyways so we end up hanging out again and a few drinks we were making out...to cut to the chase we end up in bed together (but no sex) just talking and cuddling...we end up talking about what was going on, but things got confused and i thought we were going to try to date again... well to make the story short it was a miscommunication and we werent going to start dating, so we stayed friends. he ends up IMing me talking about something that happened, but after that he's only ever commented on like one thing on my FB. He doesn't text me, call me, IM me and we dont hang out. Now I on the other hand have texted him to ask him an important question, but i havent done much either. I know a phone works both ways, but why should i initiate if he broke up with me? does he not want to be my friend? if so why did he call me to talk about things and insisted on us being friends (even when i didnt want to in the beginning?) Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I don't think you really want to be his "Friend" but his "Girlfriend"...yes? I thought it was the beginning of a good friendship after all we didnt end things badly. Anyways so we end up hanging out again and a few drinks we were making out...to cut to the chase we end up in bed together (but no sex) just talking and cuddling...we end up talking about what was going on, but things got confused and i thought we were going to try to date again... I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm hanging out with a female friend I usually don't end up making out with her. It's one of those things you don't do with a friend... I would think about what you want from this relationship. If it's anything more than "casual friend" it will probably not work out at all for you. You seem to be expecting much more. Link to comment
AllUNeedIsLove Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 I don't think you really want to be his "Friend" but his "Girlfriend"...yes? I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm hanging out with a female friend I usually don't end up making out with her. It's one of those things you don't do with a friend... I would think about what you want from this relationship. If it's anything more than "casual friend" it will probably not work out at all for you. You seem to be expecting much more. I thought about it a lot, yes part of me would still like to have that chance with him, but I know Im not ready to date him again because I really got hurt. By the way he spoke to me that day, he had mentioned a possible going back out but I wasnt sure what he meant with that, i just thought we were going to go back out again (but even when that was mentioned, I was unsure as to if i really wanted that). I know for sure I want to be friends, i dont expect anything but that (even if my feelings are there...). I just miss having him as a friend, talking to him, seeing how he's succeeding...being supportive just like I do with other friends. We were really drunk when we made out and I really wasnt expecting it at all...I just know even though i have feelings there, that i just simply want to be friends. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I know for sure I want to be friends, i dont expect anything but that (even if my feelings are there...). I just miss having him as a friend, talking to him, seeing how he's succeeding...being supportive just like I do with other friends. You know how incredibly hard it's going to be to be friends with someone you have romantic feelings towards? It's going to be torturous. What happens when he meets a new girl? How do you think you're going to handle this? Probably not well. Truth is you want anything but being his friend. You want a relationship. Settling for "friendship" is like settling for the life boat with the hole in it, because all the other boats (options) are taken or not accessible. Like always, there are two options here..Relationship or NC. Anything between those two things is going to be a very painful and drawn out experience for you. Link to comment
toby17 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 This guy never intended to be with you long term! when we ended up dating, he always told me that if things by any chance didnt work out that we would still be amazing friends He doesn't want to be friends. He wants to use you - he comes around when he wants to get whatever he wants from you at the time. Link to comment
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