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Not sure what to make of this


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Hi Everyone,


I am in a new relationship. We met online, have clicked very instantly, and everything is going great so far. He's very funny, caring, sweet, loves dogs as I do, and was pretty quick to say he wanted to be exclusive. He says he feels very lucky to have met me, and I feel the same. We just basically spent the entire weekend together and it feels great.


One thing I found interesting is that I saw that he had a prescription for Lexapro (the antidepressant) in his bathroom. I've never dated anyone on antidepressants and Ambien and I can't really pinpoint why he would be on them. I don't want to pry or judge. I was on them for a little while after I went through a pretty terrible breakup a few years ago, but I believe that to have been situational and weaned myself off after a few months. In all honesty they made me feel rather robotic, and I wasn't able to have an orgasm (this is NOT the case with him lol).


I guess I just found it interesting and it adds a facet to this new relationship that I didn't really predict. Should I be concerned that he is unstable in some way?



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How long have you been dating in person? I think if he is still taking the prescription (and you can't ask him because it will look like you were snooping) then he probably should tell you within 4-6 months of serious dating, I would think. As far as his stability well, you just need to get to know him over a period of time and if he is taking his meds regularly and seeing a therapist then that's probably helping him to stabilize. I don't know if everyone who takes that is "unstable" -my guess is no, some people are and some people are not yet unstable but need the meds because they are going through a depression.

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Well, you've only known each other a month. Not everyone on antidepressants is unstable - you're living proof, right? Anyway, most people think they are over-prescribed. They were originally developed for those with long term clinical depression. Now, they are being prescribed for people with temporary break up blues. I would keep this info in the back of your mind, and if nothing else surfaces, forget it. They probably prescribe antidepressants for gold fish nowadays.

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I don't know what I expect. And of course, I would tell him that I was on them at one point also if he chooses to share that info with me.


When I was going through that terrible breakup, it was more than the blues. I couldn't leave the house. I couldn't get off the couch. Functioning on a day-to-day basis was a chore and my job was in jeopardy. They really did help me out of that slump, for sure. But as soon as I felt good and productive again, I stopped taking it, and I've been fine.


I have no idea if he's in therapy.

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Hi Madison12,


As oldenoughtoknow says Anti-depressants are highly common these days. This is no exaggeration. It is likely that a fair percent of your work colleagues, family members, local shop keepers have used anti-depressants and some still are.


One in four of the population will suffer from depression at some point in their lives. You pass people who are on anti-depressants every day. You just don't know it. Lexapro is not an anti-psychotic by the way, which is what I'd imagine you meant by the word "unstable"


This isn't a red flag. It doesn't mean he's barking, and communes with the soul of Jesus Christ on daily basis. I realise you are alarmed, but at some point in the near future, I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to bring this into conversation. If you approach it in a completely non-judgemental way, it's likely he will be honest. Tell him about your experiences too.


By the way you are right about anti-depressants inhibiting orgasm. If he's not having trouble in the "ahem" department, can we be sure that he is still taking them.




PS. Alas, Goldfish have very rum deal in life, Oldenoughtoknow. Same ole scenary, the repetitive diet, the failing memory, etc. It's no wonder they wanna piece of the chemical good stuff

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