Introverted/extroverted-type marriage? How well is it working for you?

[friendsoulmate]

Are you in a marriage where one is an extrovert and the other is an introvert? If this type of marriage works for you, then how does it work to make a loving, peacefull, fulfilling, and happy marriage? Does it help better if the husband is the extrovert and the wife is the introvert, or if the wife is the extrovert and the husband is the introvert? What made you attracted to each other to begin with, before getting to know each others personality? Was it looks/infatuation from first impressions and your thoughts of sex/lovemaking for this man/woman who turned you on, or something he/she said? If you are divorced from an introverted/extroverted marriage, and based on your bad experience you wouldn't recommend it to anyone, then was your young lovemaking and baby making worth the risk, since I assume you enjoyed it at the time?

[woodsrose10]

Basically, it can work if one complements the other in a positive way. For example, I'm pretty introverted, but I do like meeting new people; and I'm also pretty shy. But my ex-boyfriend LOVED going out to parties & hanging out with others; our realtionship worked out well because he gave me opportunities I couldn't have given myself otherwise, & vice versa.

 

However, if one does not agree with the other on massive levels, then no, it probably won't work out.

[Alezia]

I will bet you are the introvert.

[hers]

My husband is more extroverted than I am, and I'm the introvert. We complement each other well though b/c I like meeting new people and dont' have a problem making coversations with others, but at the same time, I would prefer being home or alone after a while. My husband is an extrovert and has a problem spending time alone but when we are home together, he doesn't mind hanging out and watching TV or reading. We are able to go out together or stay home together. We basically take turns about it...it's like we are able to say "Ok, let's go do karaoke this week" and then another time we'll say "Let's just do a movie." We do low-key things together and we will also do a little more social things. We just try to compromise about it.

 

As far as what attracted me to him when it came to knowing he was more extroverted than I am, I liked that I didn't have to carry the conversation the whole time, and when he met my friends and family, I didn't feel like i had to make excuses for him just standing there or feeling uncomfortable around anyone. He's able to make friends with everyone and I liked that about him. A certain charm, of sorts.

[OptomisticGirl]

My husband and I are both introverts, thankfully because I have been with a extrovert before and it was crazy. I like hanging out with friends but I def enjoy my time at home doing my own thing more. I love the fact he and I can be in the same room but doing different things or if I say 'can we stay in?' he almost always is in agreement.

[friendsoulmate]

I will bet you are the introvert.

 

Yes. I am introverted most of the time in public, with strangers. When I grow comfortable with someone I know and trust, then I will become more relaxed, more talkative, and can open-up about my personal life more and share more personal details, and show a side of my personality, which is more extroverted. I believe the introvert and introvert marriage relationship is best, but if I happen to meet a woman at a meetup event, who is arousing in many ways(i.e. looks, physical fitness, what she says, and how feminine she is, which is important for my arousal), except she happens to be an extrovert, then should I walk away from this opportunity or not? If she is an extroverted professional(a particular woman who I have in mind), then she may think less of me, because I am not at her level.

[friendsoulmate]

My husband and I are both introverts, thankfully because I have been with a extrovert before and it was crazy. I like hanging out with friends but I def enjoy my time at home doing my own thing more. I love the fact he and I can be in the same room but doing different things or if I say 'can we stay in?' he almost always is in agreement.

 

I agree. I think the introvert and introvert marriage relationship is best, and is what I need.

[pl3asehelp]

Yes. I am introverted most of the time in public, with strangers. When I grow comfortable with someone I know and trust, then I will become more relaxed, more talkative, and can open-up about my personal life more and share more personal details, and show a side of my personality, which is more extroverted. I believe the introvert and introvert marriage relationship is best, but if I happen to meet a woman at a meetup event, who is arousing in many ways(i.e. looks, physical fitness, what she says, and how feminine she is, which is important for my arousal), except she happens to be an extrovert, then should I walk away from this opportunity or not? If she is an extroverted professional(a particular woman who I have in mind), then she may think less of me, because I am not at her level.

 

What do you mean 'not at her level'? Do you see being an introvert as a handicap and feel extroverts are somehow at a 'higher level'? I hope not, because that is most definitely not the case.

[Alezia]

I am not an introvert, and so I cannot comment on the quality of an introvert to introvert marriage. I would fit more accurately in your description of a professional extroverted woman. While it's easy for me to chat with strangers at a table, I don't necessarily open up emotionally to everyone either. I don't really see how that is different from myself, but I am definitely not an extreme extrovert.

 

I would think that an extrovert-introvert marriage can work if both partners don't fall at extreme sides of the ladder and have a flexible personality. I have a high-energy, bubbly and charismatic personality, but I find that introvert people are rather calming/soothing to have around. I also personally don't like to have someone that has my exact personality in a relationship. I like to have someone to complement and challenge me, rather than have someone who will just coast side by side next to me.

 

You'll probably also find that many extroverted people also have many introverted tendencies or interests. I personally like to read, blog, play the piano, paint etc... As long as you can have fun when going out and don't cling to your partner out of desperation, or at least don't oppose to social activities - I don't see it as much of an issue.

 

I'm in an extrovert-extrovert marriage. Myself being the more introverted person, and I feel like it's too much sometimes in terms of attack/fighting. He is the most extroverted person I've dated, and I feel like there was less conflict and pointless fighting with more introverted guys.