Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Hey i got a new job where i work nights in july so my fiance has had alot of time to himself. He met this new friend who is a bad influence, my fiance doesn't party or anything but his friend does. His friend also cheats on his g/f who lives out of state for school. His friend is immature but my fiance is constantly ditching me for him. He never ditched out on our plans or was late before he met this guy. Anyways they normally go play basketball or go to eat. Yesterday me and my fiance went out to eat after i got off work cause he said he waited for me to eat. He said he was at the gym with his friend till 10. Well he was playing on his phone during dinner and i went thru his wallet cause i was bORED not even snooping and i found a receipt for a fancy restauraunt from THAT NIGHT and he ordere a burger, a salad and 5 APPLE PIE SHOOTER? The receipt said he payed for dinner at 9:15 my fiance doesnt even drink and he claims he went there with his friend but thought i would get mad. My question is why would he lie, why would his friend order 5 girly shooters to himself? Im afraid he was with another girl....and his friend or they were with some girls....im sick to my stomach......i dno what to do now Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 All I can say is it is never ever good when someone lies about their whereabouts to a partner, unless where they are is out buying you an engagement ring or planning a surprise party for you. If his habits have really changed and he is starting to wine and dine other people when you're not around and lie about where he is, there is a really good change that he either (a) is seeing other women, (b) is developing a drinking or drug habit that he is trying to hide from you or © wants to have a 'bromance' with his buddy and isn't mature enough to settle down to marriage yet. But if he is buying girly shooters, he is most likely buying them for women. He probably had the burger, she the salad, and they were drinking shooters (her choice of flavor) together. And guys rarely go to fancy restaurants with their male buddies unless they're wealthy and that is where they always eat... fancy restaurant usually means a date to impress a new girl. Sorry... i'd like to have better news for you but it is never good when your partner starts lying like this and the evidence is pretty solid that he was up to no good because he lied when it wasn't even necessary... saying he's with his male friend is probably his normal cover he uses and he's most likely cheating or working up to it. Lies about going to the gym, hanging out with buddies, or working late are the primary covers for guys who are dating other women and cheating to explain their absences to their GFs/wives. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 To confirm I would check phone records to see if he want out with other girl. To me it sounds like he want on date and using friend as excuse. He is having cold feet imo. Link to comment
alwaysmoving Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 it looks like he cheated. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Buying drinks doesn't equate to cheating. He may have bought a round of drinks but that doesn't mean he cheated. Oh and yes we men do eat salads too.. Link to comment
alwaysmoving Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Buying drinks doesn't equate to cheating. He may have bought a round of drinks but that doesn't mean he cheated. Oh and yes we men do eat salads too.. Then why would he lie? Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yes, It looks like he cheated or something is up. I just NEVER thought he would cheat. How do I check phone records? Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 To confirm I would check phone records to see if he want out with other girl. To me it sounds like he want on date and using friend as excuse. He is having cold feet imo. How do i check his records? Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 There could be so many scenarios to this but there is no evidence he cheated. Her posts makes his friend seem like a player, maybe his friend ordered a round of shots for some ladies accross the way and it was her fiances turn to buy food/dinner this time. There isn't any solid evidence her fiance cheated. Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Whats my next step? I left him at the restaurant because he got mad me when i figured out he lied and he banged his hand on the table and was saying i ruined the dinner. I got up and left, i sent him some texts saying i know you cheated...he hasnt replied...now im texting saying can i just get the truth...whats my next step? My life revolves around him i dont even know what to do now?? Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Whats my next step? I left him at the restaurant because he got mad me when i figured out he lied and he banged his hand on the table and was saying i ruined the dinner. I got up and left, i sent him some texts saying i know you cheated...he hasnt replied...now im texting saying can i just get the truth...whats my next step? My life revolves around him i dont even know what to do now?? If you said you KNEW he cheated whats the point of getting the truth from him? Pointless right? Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 There could be so many scenarios to this but there is no evidence he cheated. Her posts makes his friend seem like a player, maybe his friend ordered a round of shots for some ladies accross the way and it was her fiances turn to buy food/dinner this time. There isn't any solid evidence her fiance cheated. Yes there is a chance he didnt cheat but then why when i found the receipt did he get so angry? I think because he was angry at himself. He had no reason to lie and this is the second time I caught him lying about this guy last time was he ditched our date and he said he had to work but actually he was going to a basketball game with this guy (to pplay in in) Also i just want an explination to what really happened Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 He probably lied because his girlfriend goes through his wallet looking to check up on him and he was afraid the truth, innocent as it may be, would be more trouble than it was worth. Do you make it uncomfortable for him to spend time with his friend? Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 If you said you KNEW he cheated whats the point of getting the truth from him? Pointless right? I need some answers tho Link to comment
capilot Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 ... i went thru his wallet cause i was bORED not even snooping ... Puh-leeeze. Bored people watch TV or play solitaire. Snoops go through other peoples' wallets. That said, although there are plenty of good explanations as to why he might have gone to this restaurant, there really aren't any good explanations for lying about it. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Dump his ass and ignore him when he inevitably comes begging for you back. Whether he cheated isn't really the point now. He's lying to you, he's blowing you off for this friend who's bad news, he's showing you in very clear ways what kind of husband he will be. He got mad when he got caught in a lie? That tells you everything you need to know right there. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 How do i check his records? Go on to phone carriers website and log into account. You can check call logs. If he doesn't have anything to hide this shouldn't be a problem of him giving you password or username. Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 He probably lied because his girlfriend goes through his wallet looking to check up on him and he was afraid the truth, innocent as it may be, would be more trouble than it was worth. Do you make it uncomfortable for him to spend time with his friend? No i was glad he had a new friend. The problem started when I started working nights and him days, i felt we didnt have alot of time to see each other and when we did have time he would ditch me to play baksetball and he joined 2 weekend teams without even consulting me. Its like hes having a mid life crisis. Then i got upset and we made a deal he would hang with me fri sat and sunday with the exception of his games, and all other days he could see his friend wenever. Well then he lied to me and said he had to work on a friday night but really went to play ball- after our deal and promise i took that as a betrayal. Its been somewhat of a downward sprial since then Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Go on to phone carriers website and log into account. You can check call logs. If he doesn't have anything to hide this shouldn't be a problem of him giving you password or username. And then she does, and there is no evidence, and then what? There is a bigger issue here and it looks like insecure jealousy has a hand in it. You dont just go through someones wallet because your bored. Im betting there is a pattern of insecurity here, and he was trying to avoid a confrontation. Was it right for him to lie to do so? No. but I'm betting he is often made to be punished for the friends behaviour so he doesnt feel comfortable being honest about spending time with the friend. I mean, she has him in a full out cheating affair over a dinner receipt. Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 yea problem is he calls millions of numbers for work on his cell and i cant cycle thru them al! Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 No i was glad he had a new friend. The problem started when I started working nights and him days, i felt we didnt have alot of time to see each other and when we did have time he would ditch me to play baksetball and he joined 2 weekend teams without even consulting me. Its like hes having a mid life crisis. Then i got upset and we made a deal he would hang with me fri sat and sunday with the exception of his games, and all other days he could see his friend wenever. Well then he lied to me and said he had to work on a friday night but really went to play ball- after our deal and promise i took that as a betrayal. Its been somewhat of a downward sprial since then Here is the issue, your feeling a lack of attention and equating it to cheating. Im not blaming you for his lies, because he shouldnt lie, but Im guessing this has more to do with guilt trips, insecurity and arguements that are created when he is truthful. Link to comment
happyfrank Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 And then she does, and there is no evidence, and then what? There is a bigger issue here and it looks like insecure jealousy has a hand in it. You dont just go through someones wallet because your bored. Im betting there is a pattern of insecurity here, and he was trying to avoid a confrontation. Was it right for him to lie to do so? No. but I'm betting he is often made to be punished for the friends behaviour so he doesnt feel comfortable being honest about spending time with the friend. I mean, she has him in a full out cheating affair over a dinner receipt. That's his fiance not just GF. They shouldn't keep secrets. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 A dinner receipt that included 5 apple pie shooters. Have you ever had an apple pie shooter? I sure as hell haven't. Yeah, maybe it was for a table of girls "just for fun". Or maybe they were for the waitress since she was so nice and hard working. Maybe it was for the kitchen staff who were all women because their food was extra delicious. Come on. Lying to avoid conflict isn't great, but that doesn't explain away the receipt. And if a man isn't man enough to stand by his agreements with his woman and instead resorts to lying, then he ain't much of a man to begin with. Link to comment
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 And then she does, and there is no evidence, and then what? There is a bigger issue here and it looks like insecure jealousy has a hand in it. You dont just go through someones wallet because your bored. Im betting there is a pattern of insecurity here, and he was trying to avoid a confrontation. Was it right for him to lie to do so? No. but I'm betting he is often made to be punished for the friends behaviour so he doesnt feel comfortable being honest about spending time with the friend. I mean, she has him in a full out cheating affair over a dinner receipt. Yes that could be true but i recently got chlaymida and I trusted him so much i decided it was a False positive. Even with the doctors saying that not possible. We both got treated but i could sense something was off when i said i trust u and i love u....i even took blame for pushing him away...but he didnt reconnect with me after i said that...he seemed uneasy and has been really distant lastely. He hasnt been going to work hes been skipping appointments to play basketball. Were trying to save for a house and now all the sudden he thinks he wants to wait another year. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yes that could be true but i recently got chlaymida and I trusted him so much i decided it was a False positive. Even with the doctors saying that not possible. We both got treated but i could sense something was off when i said i trust u and i love u....i even took blame for pushing him away...but he didnt reconnect with me after i said that...he seemed uneasy and has been really distant lastely. Wow. And you created this thread about a dinner receipt instead of that?! Link to comment
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