Awoken Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Hi Guys, First time posting and starting a NEW thread. Decided after weeks of reading others stories I would share mine too. As I have discovered here my story is not unqiue, just different. Heres the abridged version of my story. Had been with my ex for just over 4 years, she is now 21 and I am 36. We had been having issues over the past 12 months or so. Mini break ups (the longest being 3 days) about silly things. I was constantly pushing her away, emotionally, lost of master/slave talk (thanks Al Turtle), eventually creating an enviorment of fear for my ex. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I must mention that what made our relationship "different" was the fact we had to keep it secret from ALL her friends. Her family, my family and friends knew about us, but her friends didn't. The reason for this was because she was an ex-student of mine. So my school didn't know either until recently (post-breakup). So this made things complicated. The catalyst for our breakup happened earlier in the year. I developed feelings for someone else but didnt act on them. I told my ex, thinking she would appreciate my honesty. It sadly backfired. A few weeks later I caught her out texting this guy she studied with. She said it wasn't what I thought It was. I got angry, we had another mini-breakup, but as usual got back together without fully solving the issue. Then a few weeks ago now she was doing some internship work. Met a guy. Similar age, doing similar things as her, etc, etc. They developed an emotional attraction, admitted their feelings for each other and now she is going to see him in two weeks time overseas when she finishes her degree. None of this was made apparent to me until after I put things together. She sent me an email saying that she was scared for the future and our relationship and we should talk. I of course got angry again and was like "fine, we knew it was eventually going to end". Then I found out about this guy and confronted her and then the truth came out. She had never recoverd from me and the girl earlier in the year. She knew that wasn't an excuse for her to emotionally attach herself to someone else, but I could see why she did it. Lots of other stuff to add but don't want this first thread to be too long! We have now been broken up for almost 4 weeks. our last contact was 9 days ago via email. before that it went like this; Oct13 got email. Oct15 talked to her about this guy and WENT CRAZY, Oct16 tried to have an amicable farewell, kisses, hugs, crying, etc, Oct 18th Said I would marry her and have kids (this was another issue that I didnt want either of these with her as I have kids already). Same day emailed her renforcing my feelings. 10 days later sent and email (after days of researching and reading and talking about relationship stuff) trying to not push her away. She replied 2 days later. Said she was confused, didnt know what I wanted, friendship or something else. I sent an email back saying I would like to have somekind of relationship/friendship now or in the future weary of not pushing her futher away and wanting to give her time and space. Also that I would like to share things I had realised (negative behaviour) during our relationship if that was okay?...9 days on no reply. Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Awoken Link to comment
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