nyckid33 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 So we've been broken up for over a month now and NC for 2 1/2 weeks (She dumped me). She text me and said hey I hope you dont mind me texting you but today is the 7th(we started dating on the 7th) and I was thinking about you and I hope your day is going well, and I hope everything's been good, and I hope your family is good too That was a couple of hours ago and I never responded. I just could'nt respond, Im still hurt with what went down after the breakup. Do you guys think this was a good move on my part? Part of me wants her back, and the other part is just not in the mood to even get backin contact and hurt more. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 If she did you dirty after the break up, then no. If it was a normal respected break up, then its your call. I would go NC because it eases off the neediness I displayed in past relationships (in my situation). But the message looks pretty innocent that I can see how hard it could be to not respond. If you do respond (not saying you should or shouldnt), cut it short, and dont go into details. You are busy and important now. Link to comment
nyckid33 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 If she did you dirty after the break up, then no. If it was a normal respected break up, then its your call. I would go NC because it eases off the neediness I displayed in past relationships (in my situation). But the message looks pretty innocent that I can see how hard it could be to not respond. If you do respond (not saying you should or shouldnt), cut it short, and dont go into details. You are busy and important now. Yea after the breakup she would tell me that she loves me so much and misses me etc. Then I find out a week later she is talking to some guy and they've been hanging out etc. I took that as pretty disrespectful and never even called her out on it. If all of that wouldnt have happened after the breakup I would have text her back because it seems like she is just trying to be nice. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah, I wouldnt respond back either then. I would have called her on it, but thats just me. I would have said, "hey, yeah, they are fine. How are you and that guy doing? You know.. the one you were seeing while you kept sending me love notes.... yeah.. him. Some people get selfish, bro. They jump ship, and they get scared that they did a mistake, so they keep a life-jacket floating in the water. You know what shes about now. In time you will remember her as who she is, not so much who you thought she was... or could have been. Link to comment
Mr Man Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Ok, this is what I'd do!!! : text her back saying something like 'hi there. i'm fine thanks hope you are well too. listen you're a lovely girl but we're not friends we're something else, you know that. we are over and there is no return ever - that's just how i am. it is more elegant if we just part ways completely forever. don't even bother replying to this text and definitely don't reach out to me in the future. i really wish you all the best and i'm sure i'll think about you from time to time. best wishes XYZ'. POW! if she replies stick to the same plan... do this and you have rejected her back, gotten complete closure, showed strength of character and hopefully attained complete NC for the rest of your life which will help you move on as fast as possible! If she's very persistent, start getting a bit hostile and putting her down a little (you've been nice, it's inevitable you'll start to lose patience) if worst comes to worst get her done for harassment! but have a heart and be as nice about it as possible unless she really won't take no for an answer. Healthy healing Mr Man EDIT: Actually, don't be too nice if she left you for someone else! tell her she made her choice and to live with it! Link to comment
nyckid33 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah, I wouldnt respond back either then. I would have called her on it, but thats just me. I would have said, "hey, yeah, they are fine. How are you and that guy doing? You know.. the one you were seeing while you kept sending me love notes.... yeah.. him. Some people get selfish, bro. They jump ship, and they get scared that they did a mistake, so they keep a life-jacket floating in the water. You know what shes about now. In time you will remember her as who she is, not so much who you thought she was... or could have been. Yea I was going to call her on it when I first found out, but then I figured it would just give her power and boost her ego. It was hard cause I',m the type of guy who would of loved to fight someone right away or curse her the hell out, but I just stayed in silence. She will figure it out in time if she hasn't already. I was all about mending what was broken at first. I really was. Until I found all that out. That's just disrespectful and cruel. And your right I'm remembering her for this, not for what she was a year or two years ago. Link to comment
nyckid33 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 I like this and would love to say something like that to her! But I just feel like silence is the most powerful thing to do right now. I don't even want to give her the satisfaction of a response. What do you think? Link to comment
Mr Man Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 if you respond and say 'we're not friends, you had your chance, i will never take you back - never reach out to me in your life again' then she isn't going to get an ego boost, you will! And you get closure, you kill the hope, you get your NC, and you move on! simple. Link to comment
Mr Man Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I like this and would love to say something like that to her! But I just feel like silence is the most powerful thing to do right now. I don't even want to give her the satisfaction of a response. What do you think? I think the most mature thing to do is to face her truthfully, and to get rid of her forever. Ignoring her is immature in my opinion. Trust me, she definitely won't get any satisfaction out of you saying that you don't want to be her friend, you'll never take her back and you've seen her true colours. It will bother her, it would bother anyone. She'll know you aren't her 'safety net', she'll think 'wow he's strong', her ego will be damaged and she'll feel generally stupid. Let her live with her decision, you move on and find someone better mate. But don't do this to hurt her. That would be the wrong reason to do it. You're doing it so you get NC (without her bothering you and causing you to think about her), you get your balls back, you get to reject her yourself, and you kill your hope and thus get your closure. Hopefully, if she has any dignity or self-respect, she'll get lost after that. If not, don't just ignore her, step it up and make yourself clear and tell her to get some dignity. her loss mate. Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Nope, wasn't a bad move. In fact, it was probably one of the better things you could've done. Honestly, considering she has no part in your life anymore, there's no reason for her to be contacting you and you her. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah, unless you call her out on it, then silence is golden. It shows you have knocked her off as priority in your life, and that you are busy with other things. Its the things that are not said that bother the most. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Silence speaks volumes. I would not respond to any communication from her....chi Link to comment
learning2relax Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 You were taking care of yourself by not replying. That alone tells me that you did the right thing. Link to comment
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