chief10inch Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 hi i have been in this relationship for 10 months now and i love her very much and she loves me too (at least i thought she did). but she cheated on me with some dude that she seemed to have a really intense crush on. she didnt even tell me about it either, i found out on my own, now i am super pissed off and i want to dump her but i love her so much and i know it would hurt so bad. i just found out this morning and i havent talked to her yet and i dont know how i am going to. anyways if you have some advice that would be greatly apreciated!! I also thought about taking a knife to this guys throat he lives in another town, and i figure i could find out where he lives. it would make me a lot happier. so if you have some advice on this too let me know! THANKS! Link to comment
Protex Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Firstly, don't go killing people. There's so many reasons not too... As for your girlfriend. I understand that you love her, but love can sometimes cause us to do things that will hurt us. She cheated once, what's to say she won't do it again? I know you love her, but you need to look out for yourself. And if you do keep her, you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that this may happen again. Link to comment
american dream Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Hey Cheif, Knife huh... when this happened to me I could only think of my 40cal. But that stuff is stupid. Kick this girl to the curb. If she cheated on you, she is done. There is no wiggle room there. Statistics show that if she has cheated once, she will cheat again. I know that when this happened to me I really blamed the guy. I still do. He knew my ex had a boyfriend, and simply didnt care. He was always in her ear telling her all kinds of things that she wanted to hear. So while I don't know this situation specifically, I would say the overwhelming blame lies with her. She disrespected you, your time spent together, and abused your trust. Is this really the kind of girl you want to be with. I should hope not. I know that if I see the guy that my ex dropped my for out with her at a bar it will be on like donkey kong, but I am not going to go out of my way to beat him up. Don't do anything rash. I loved my ex sooooo much and when she asked me to leave it devistated me and almost made me do stupid things, but I just had to think, "she is a BAD person, and I am a GOOD person." That is what it comes down to. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. This situation sucks and I feel for you man. Keep your chin up. Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Yeah sure it's ok to be mad at the guy, but it was her who engaged in it. When you think about it was just a single guy picking up your gf, she should have told stopped it at the first advance but she didn't. In my oppinion I would just toss her to the curb, she can't be trusted...hell, she hasn't even admitted it yet (?). I suppose you could see if she'll come clean about it, but either way I would go near this one again. Link to comment
ShroudedSorrow24 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 yeah, lose her. She already hurt you once, you dont want to get hurt again do you? You'll get over her and find someone new. You can always torture her a little bit. Play mind games signifying you know she cheated on you without actually saying you know Link to comment
Francis Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I am afraid she probably would not have cheated on you if she loved you. You might think you are in love with her, but you should be very careful before investing your feelings and get involved with someone that does not share your same values. Eventually, you will end up falling in love with the wrong person, a person who does not appreciate you or who does not have the capacity to respect you as you deserve to be respected. Since there is no marriage, not economical interdependency and no children yet, you should consider seriously parting, before she hurts you again. Take care Link to comment
Serendipity1607307077 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 If you forgive her, and stay with her, you will have to put up with always wondering if she is still cheating on you. It will drive you nuts! Just let her go, you don't deserve to be cheated on dude! Let her go and find someone you can love and who you can trust never to go behind her back... Link to comment
Mike_Wazowski Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 About knifing the dude: Good idea if you wanna spend the rest of your life taking it up the poop chute from some guy named Bubba at San Quentin. My advice to you would be to dump her, and take the pain for a couple of months..then move on..... good luck ! Link to comment
mscolly Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 Whatever you do, don't even think about the knife. 4 months ago I had a knife in my hand after raising my hands to my wife of 18 years. It frightened me that I could do a thing like that. HE'S NOT WORTH IT. Talk to your girlfriend. Try to decide whether it was just hormones talking, that it was an overpowering crush, or whether there's more to it than that. We're not robots, things can happen that push us to do things that seem against our nature. Perhaps your girlfriend is in a living hell, full of remorse, not knowing how the heck she can tell you what she's done. Perhaps not. Perhaps I'm too forgiving. Give her chance at least. Then decide, after taking some time off, what you want to do. Don't be rash, don't do something in anger you might regret for the rest of your life. Try to decide when you feel cooler. Link to comment
sym666 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I think I agree with one or two sentences of all posted before this. I don't think She is evil and you the good one (for this reason at least). I don't think she is going to do again necessarily, and however it's not the point, to me. I don't think you should break with her due to this event. I do think you should think about what you feel for her and why. If you have esteem for this person, talk with her, show her how angry you are, but don't renounce to something valuable. The humankind is not divided between who cheats and who doesn't. Besides, to me, there are many ways of cheating, other than physical. About violence: is the inepts' last resort. Link to comment
dakadave Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Put the knife down, dump her, but do vent your frustrations as stated by another poster, play mind games with her good times Link to comment
moleculo Posted September 13, 2004 Share Posted September 13, 2004 Most certainly don't use the knife. What was the extent and context of the cheat? Like drunken making out, sudden rush of lust over the top stuff...If she cheated on you many times, then yeah dude, your life will be easier and it'd be for the best. But if it was a one time deal, then perhaps things can be worked out. Link to comment
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