Drunk sex, impotence, morning after, what to do?!

[nanja]

Hi,

 

I met a girl a few nights ago, all was going great, we couldn't keep our hands off each other all the way back to her place and we hit it off great.

 

When we eventually got there, things were about to escalate, but I had a big problem!

I was still a little tipsy and lets just say things weren't looking "up"!

 

After foreplay, still nothing.

 

So as not to kill the mood, I just went on to finish the job orally - which she definitely enjoyed!

 

The next morning, things weren't really awkward, but after that, I'm not sure if she's interested.

 

So what do I say to her? I would like to have a relationship with her, but I'm not sure If I blew it (I wish that could be a pun!) with her.

 

How do I find out if she would be interested in taking things further?

 

Or should I just cut all contact to avoid any more humiliation?

[southerngirl]

Call her up and ask her if she would like to go somewhere. Movies dinner, whatever, something that does not involve drinking. This way you can see if anything develops when your sober.

[nanja]

thanks for the reply

 

Should I ask her if she wants to talk about what happened that night?

 

This really has taken a toll on my confidence.

Thing were really heated and I'm not sure if it was just a one night stand or not.

 

Maybe going back and asking her if she wants to talk about it will make her think I'm a little pathetic?

[sophie274]

Definitely don't bring "it" up with her. I don't think it would serve any purpose. There's really not much to say on the subject, IMO. I can't imagine her wanting to talk about it - what is there for her to say? Whatever happened happened, and there's not much to discuss a few days later I don't think. Not to mention that from what I understand, this is a pretty common occurrence when guys have been drinking.

 

If you would like to see her again, call her up and ask her out. No need to have a post-mortem about the sex you had.

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that situation needs to be addressed. If you are interested in seeing her then go out with her again and just keep moving things forward.

[LDRohnos]

These things happen, I usually avoid drinking heavily earlier in a relationship only because you never know when she might give the green light. Alcohol has the same effect on me in that I cannot finish. I wouldn't bring it up and if it comes up in conversation somehow just tell her that booze does this to men. If she's experienced at all she should already know this.

[nanja]

Great advice

 

Thanks guys!

[alwaysmoving]

One time I slept over a guy's place and he couldn't get it up due to alcohol as well. The next morning when we woke up he said "so what's your most embarrassing moment? mine happened last night" and just made light of the situation. Totally talk to her again, I don't think it's a big deal. If she snubs you then it was never going to work out anyway

[capilot]

I've had that happen. No big deal. But then, I was sober in the morning so we picked up where we left off.

 

She enjoyed the night, so that's a good sign. She may have ascribed the lack of penetration to drunkenness, to reluctance to have sex too quickly, or to the fact that you're not really into her. Almost any woman would be totally cool with the first two reasons, and if you call her and ask her out again, she'll know it's not the third.

[tyr72]

Also, just to caution you in the event that you are tempted to bring it up at any point. Trying to salve your humiliation, or even trying to reassure her of your ability to perform can easily backfire. "This has never happened before." or "I don't know what happened, I don't usually have this problem." can easily be taken amiss - and if you want to see her again you don't want to give her the impression the problem was her. Be a man of action, not words, and let it lie until you have the opportunity to show her what you can do.

[capilot]

Oh, right. I forgot the key point: DON'T BRING IT UP. Forget about it and let her do the same.