loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I need help today....i feel an awful urge to contact my ex, i don't want to do it!! i can feel the pain going right through my body!! Come talk to me please loulou x Link to comment
Lone She Wolf Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 loulou37, think of the fact that the need you feel is just human nature, but you must overcome that because whatever the reason that you ended the relationship is, it won't change just by making contact. You have to stay strong and true to yourself. You have to keep your chin up and know that you will make it through this with dignity and integrity. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 loulou37, think of the fact that the need you feel is just human nature, but you must overcome that because whatever the reason that you ended the relationship is, it won't change just by making contact. You have to stay strong and true to yourself. You have to keep your chin up and know that you will make it through this with dignity and integrity. i'm sitting here crying cos i miss him so much, it hurts so bad today Link to comment
ApocalypseDreams Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hey loulou, What's brought on these feelings, particulary today? Any reason? Link to comment
Lone She Wolf Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 It's ok that you cry, it's an outlet for your pain, but you will eventually be ok, you have to believe that and focus on that. Cry, but stay strong. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hey loulou, What's brought on these feelings, particulary today? Any reason? I don't know, i was doing ok, i just want to talk to him cos i miss him so bad, i'm trying so hard not to contact him cos i don't want to make it all worse, we used to talk everyday now there's nothing. Link to comment
Airbag Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hey loulou, you're not alone. I feel * * * * too today, and I'm trying my hardest to keep my chin up. Hugs for you! Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi lou, I had that urge on Thursday. I resisted and I know it was the right thing todo. I'm struggling with being alone today but no urge to contact. If you contact and don't get a response, you'll feel worse. If you fight the urge, you'll feel stronger tomorrow. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi lou, I had that urge on Thursday. I resisted and I know it was the right thing todo. I'm struggling with being alone today but no urge to contact. If you contact and don't get a response, you'll feel worse. If you fight the urge, you'll feel stronger tomorrow. thing is i know he wouldn't ignore me but his response wouldn't be anything i wanted to hear, that's why i don't contact him...my god this man was so in love with me, now he's just gone from my life. thanks everyone...my heart goes out to all of you loulou x Link to comment
shortest_straw90 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 You tried this thread? It helped me vent a lot of what I wanted to say in those difficult times where all you want to do is talk to them. What helped me was writing in that thread then crying as long and hard as I could until I couldnt cry anymore. I dont know why it helped, I just felt better afterwards because Id vented everything that I wanted to get out of my system I guess. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 You tried this thread? It helped me vent a lot of what I wanted to say in those difficult times where all you want to do is talk to them. What helped me was writing in that thread then crying as long and hard as I could until I couldnt cry anymore. I dont know why it helped, I just felt better afterwards because Id vented everything that I wanted to get out of my system I guess. yea phil, ive done it, i still want to speak with him, i'm trying to go NC but it's killing me, i'm not gonna lie, i'm hoping time without me around it gonna make him think a little about his decision, i know he loves me, our problem was distance and we did things the wrong way round...i'm just not sure how much longer i can hold out without contacting him Link to comment
shortest_straw90 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Well you see your doing NC for the wrong reasons, your doing it to try and get him back but what you should be doing is trying to get over him. What if he never comes back to you, are you going to just wait around forever? The only way to get through this is to let go. It doesnt really work when you get back together anyway Im afraid. Once this happens something changes and it just doesnt seem right. I got back with my ex last wednesday I think it was and we'd broken up by Friday. Link to comment
SVin06 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hey loulou. Struggling with the same today. Had to move all the pics off my phone last night so i can put them all away somewhere where I don't have to see them. It's been 4 days of NC and two or three wks of LC (as much as humanly possible) she had initiated to tell me that her daughter (who I raised for 5 years since she was 2) has been crying everyday for the last three days because she hadn't seen me in a week. Seeing the kid right now is like contact with the mom. It's just too much to deal with. Looking at the pics was fine last night. I was trying not to focus too much on what I was having to do. But today, the urge to call and tell her simply how much I miss her and the kid, has been intense. I though of the best advice I had heard yet, and of course, it was on this forum... If they missed you enough and wanted to call, they would. There is nothing good that can possibly come from you breaking contact as the dumpee. If you're hopeful for reconciliation, the ONLY way that can happen is for them to come back to you. If you had any control over this situation, you certainly would have gotten back together by now. Another tidbit of wisdom that struck a chord with me here is that...NO ONE THAT TRULY LOVED YOU WOULD LEAVE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. Certainly, you love, and that is why you are struggling with the loss. I am sure that you wouldn't have left them to feel this way. I know I wouldn't have. The idea that they really didn't love as much as we did is quite sad but strangely comforting because it eliminates any blame that you have been putting on yourself. How could it have ever worked to begin with if your partner was not as much in love? TRY... i say try because we all know how hard this is to do in our positions, but try to focus your energy/thoughts on loving yourself right now...with your flaws, with the mistakes you feel you may have made, with the way you are feeling right now...LOVE YOURSELF, because you are a caring, flawed, authentic, human being. Link to comment
SVin06 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 BTW...if you want to distract yourself for the next ten minutes reading my depressing story and chiming in, just maybe, you maybe be able to allow your mind to get into a better place. Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 I know you are right, i would never of left him in this situation, we had problems but i never gave up on him, my love for him would of never allowed it, i think i just have to face the fact that he never loved me as much as he said he did...he knew how all this would affect me and my kids but he still left and the reasons were just stupid. Thank you SV..and everyone who posted, thanks for being there for me x Link to comment
loulou37 Posted October 30, 2011 Author Share Posted October 30, 2011 BTW...if you want to distract yourself for the next ten minutes reading my depressing story and chiming in, just maybe, you maybe be able to allow your mind to get into a better place. ] i read your post, i didn't comment as i think you had enough advice from others, also i would be crap at giving anyone advice right now, i'm in such a mess loulou x Link to comment
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