How Do You Know if You Hit Rock Bottom?

[tmills0011607306452]

Well, I haven't spoken to my ex in over two weeks now. I know she hasn't made any attempts to talkt to me either. I still hear stories about her, but I tell people that I am not interested in hearing them, and usually that helps a little. But at the beginning of this week I really started to think about her again. It seems that the pain is as severe as the day she told me it was over. I really have no motivation to do anything at all now. As before I knoew that I had to keep myself motivated in order to survive this ordeal.

 

To get over this situation, I have tried to think about all of the negative things she has done to me, but in the end, all I think about is the positive. I have been through quite a few long-term relationships, but I cannot remember a time when the pain was this severe. It's been about two months now and it really doesn't seem that it is getting better.

 

Nobody who has been the best that they possibly could be in a relationship should ever deserve this.

 

[Crushed]

Well only you will know when you have hit rock bottom. One thing I would say is to start writing. Make a list of all the things you didn't like about her. Don't just think them and when you start thinking about her or feeling sad pull out your list. I would reccomend index cards. keep them in your back pocket and pull them out when you need to. If that isn't enough also buy some smelling salts. Every time you start to feel tears running down your eyes pull it out and take a big whiff. The shock of the horrible smell should be enough to jarr you out of your current state. I think you are at rock bottom the moment before you finally lose hope. That is the hardes point once you finally lose hope, you've accepted the situation and can finally start moving on. It's that hope which is a killer. You must accept, or try to force yourself to (I know, It's hard.) the fact that you'll never be with this person again in your life. Once you do this then you'll be on the mend. But write down all your thoughts and feelings. If you want to say something to her write it down too. But whatever you do don't send it to her. This is your own private journal. This way it doesn't keep spinning in your head over and over. And after a while you'll find your writing the same things over and over and you'll get tired of writing because you have nothing new to say. I dated my journal and it's amazing how your thoughs will change over a 1 month period. And you'll change with it. But don't contact her regardless of how badly you want to talk to her just get your thoughts straight. After a month if you really want to contact her. Do so if it will make you feel better, maybe you won't want to. Besides by then you'll really have your thought together and possibly have a meaningfull conversation. I don't know if this has been any help or not or if it answered your question. But I just rambling about things that have helped me get through this difficult situation that I am going through. If you care to offer some insight I'll paste the link below. I hope this helps and I can promise you it will get better. In the meantime use this energy to better yourself. I reccomend working out it's a great stress reliever and releases all those happy endorphins. I've dropped over 30lbs and have put on muscle in this time. Then the'll be crawling all over you.

[good_f]

Try to call her and tell her to go out for a walk or something so that you can talk.If you think that this would not be good just try to talk to her on the phone to tell her how you feel.Pride sometimes destroys the best relationships.If she tells you she doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore just respect her opinion.What I'm trying to tell you is that,by trying to talk to her you can take the chance that maybe she feels the same way but is too proud to tell it.You have nothing to lose and if you don't make it at least you will know that you've tried and have nothing to regret for in the future.Good luck!

[cs20thcenturyfox]

Dear tmills001,

 

I know how hard it is to let go of someone that you truly "loved". But, I gotta tell ya, it WILL get better . When I broke up with my ex I though for sure my life would be too, but I motivated myself, I was tired of feeling that way. I started paying more attention to my schooling, and I put myslef out there and started to talk to other people (making new friends). You gotta ask yourself if this is how you want to feel for the rest of your life, even though you know you won't.

 

My advice, get out. Make new friends, friends that won't tell you about your ex. Download some songs that will make you happy, read a good book. Just keep motivating yourself. It's hard, I would know, but now that I think back, all the mean things he said to me, how he hurt me, I don't think that I could take him back.....EVER.

 

So, just do things that will get your ex off of your mind. It hurts now, but soon you'll be ok.....I hope I helped in some way. Good luck

[tmills0011607306452]

Thank you all, I know this is all great advice. Last weekend, I was spinning at a club I resident once a month. (Anyone knows the buzz crew at trust in Baltimore! I dj there!) When someone behind the booth noticed that I was crying while contemplating my next mix. He knew what was going on without knowing my story...

 

My ex knows that I have further myself ever since the break up artistically. I have release an EP as well as a single pressed into vinyl. She also knows that I can be whoever, and whatever I want to be without little trying. I am a very gifted person. And I know it makes her jealous. But what she can not accept is that for a while these talents were an output for the love I had for her. It was never wasted. It just fell upon deaf ears.

 

I know you have to hit the bottom before getting better, and tonight, I think after all that has gone on (Look for my previous posts) I have something back that I haven't had in a long time. That little boy inside that likes to play so to speak. I know I can't talk to her. I have given time and time again to her which is well documented in those posts, and came up short. She even promised me that she wanted to work things out and cut me off.

 

I think I have finally realized that it's not who is deep inside that you know. (My ex is atually a very sweet and caring person) But the situations that influence them before maturity takes control. (she fell victim to influence.) She called me tonight and still thinks that I am out to hurt her. I have been true to every promise and treated her well beyond better than anybody ever will. (I mean that... I gave up my passions, music, art, poetry and school, for the sake of the relationship... Please do not flame me... I did that to better the relationship temporarily, until she got over her depression.) I paid to get out of our lease in full. I paid in full for the rest of the bills that were left over. I even helped her move. Was this out of the ordinary of the relationship? No... After everything was said and done, I still continued to give the same, ever since the beginning.

 

I believe that she is still holding onto the baggage of the men that have hurt her in the past. Yes it has devastated me. But know I know that she cannot learn that all men aren't bad right now. A few are very willing to give up everything without question, and have done so... But her past clouds her. I can't change her mind now. The best I can do is walk away. I pray that she can see me in the same light again someday. But all I can do is compose melodies about us for the time being amongst a crowd that can never understand the piercing notes......

 

Gilgamesh.. If yer out there buddy, any more insight? Of course other's are welcome too..

 

again thanks all!