So- how do you know

[Poca]

when you LOVE some one or whether it's just an infatuation, or just maybe strong feelings because you can't have him/her??

 

what would you say?? What is love???

[Amore]

True love is indescribable. There are no words to describe the amazing feeling when two people fall in love with each other.

 

I honestly can't tell you when you can tell when it's love or infactuation. But once you experience love, you'll know.

 

I'm sorry if my rambling doesn't answer your question at all. Love is complicated - and hard to explain.

[Day_Walker]

Its very simple. . . Love is what you want it to be. This is why it can be different things to different people. The only way to find out what Love means to you is to examine it (which most people cant do unless they are in the situation). Find out what it means to you and what you will let it do to you.

[scaryperson]

People say that when it's love, you'll know, but would you, i think i'm in love because i care for this person really deeply, and i want to make him feel loved, but what makes something love, i think, you have to look at the chemistry, if the chemistry between 2 people is great, then, it could be love, in my opinion

[goddess23]

its VERY COMPLICATED. but this is my definition. you know you would give up yourself for this person. and another one i go by is that no matter what happens, you would want them to be happy even if it means you're not. like my childhood love...i loved him with everything. and things changed and he moved. and now i love him in a different way. not like i would want to date him now, but i truly pray that he is happy and doing well. love is complicated, love is beautiful, love is painful. have you given this person a power over yourself you dont even have? to make you feel beautiful or like crap, to make you float on air or wish you were 6 feet under?

 

its when you really make yourself vunerable and are sure that these things apply to you. but thats my definition, my personal definition. but i believe its a good one to use and apply to almost all cases of love. hope it helped...

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Did you ever stick your arms out and spin and spin and spin? Well that's what love is like. Love is when reality is better than the dream. It's everything it's cracked up to be. It's worth dying for that's why people are so jaded about never finding it. It is at the same time a handfull of body chemicals and a million adjectives.

 

 

But I've always thought this of love,

 

 

"Keep away from the authority who

tells you what love is and what it is not. No authority knows and he

who knows cannot tell. Love, and there is understanding."

 

And although you'll never really know what love is, you'll realize what love is not, realize that there are many types of love. You'll learn that their are many "signatures" of love.

 

Humans form a special attachment to people that they call love. But later in life you might look back at that time and say to yourself, "I wasn't really in love back then." Love isn't a definite state. It starts off very small--the love of a friend for example--and depending on the circumstances can grow more and more powerful. But this is not love. This is just the way it works. You can't really define love.

[mahlina]

Good question. Love is really complicated. There are different types of love, love for a boyfriend, friend, stranger, homeless person; it's a feeling of compassion. In terms of what you're asking, when or how do we know if we love someone, or if it's infatuation, I think that 'time' is the determining factor. In the beginning, it's usually infatuation, especially if you're starting out as 'two' complete strangers. If you've been friends with this person in the past, then it's probably less of infatuation, but more of a strong/mature love.

 

Infatuation to me, is quite normal in the 'beginning' of a relationship. It's when you feel as though it was or is, "Love at first sight." "Some kind of fate or force that brought us together." It's a period of puppy love. Just a couple who feel as though they're two kids falling in love all over again. It's mysterious. The chemistry's either there or it's not.

 

Eventually, as the initial 'excitement' burns off, and the realities of life hit you, when the person isn't going to be at 'their best,' that's when true love starts to develop. It's when couples help each other in their daily stress. They begin to rely more on each other. It's as if their other half is someone who they look forward to spilling their guts to, by the end of the day. It's mutual. When both partners recognize each other as their 'bestfriend,' one who understands them inside and out, not just the physical and emotional attraction, but the mental and all of the above combined, then that's slowly the start of 'true love.' It's mutual. Not always equal, but mutual enough to consider it a 50/50 partnership.

 

In the end, when couples learn how to work problems out by communication, and truly make an effort to build onto their relationship, beyond infatuation, and give themselves whole-heartedly, that's when you know it's true love. It takes a lot of time and patience. Sadly, in some cases, if there are too many problems within the relationship, for some people, their partners become more like their brothers/sisters. I have an ex who we were together for 4 years. We've known each other for 7 years by now. First year as strangers, now the 7th year as almost 'bestfriends.' However, our relationship grew into more of a bro/sis relationship. (I just can't look at him in the eye and feel that same 'physical' attraction. I didn't feel it for him in the first place, then as I loved him more, it grew. But when the relationship became unhealthy, it quickly dissipated.) At least we both know that we love each other, or shall I say, truly care about each other on a different level. It's really complicated, but I respect him as a brother.

 

Once 'both' partners reach to the level of 'true love,' that's when they can truly say that they will always understand each other in a different way. Unfortunately, some people grow up and drift apart. But no matter what, that other person will always understand them inside/out. They can read each other like a book. But, something in the chemistry is just missing. That love that they once felt, isn't the same.

 

That's why for me, now that I've been through all that, I can truly say that it also takes a lot of 'life experiences' for a person to actually know if the other partner is 'the one'. At a young age, it's hard to decipher, because when two people grow up as adults, their perspectives in life changes. thereforeeee, a couple might drift apart, due to the fact that they are not the 'same' anymore. Ther attitudes might be the same, but their values may differ.

 

Here are the key ingredients to love:

#1. Chemistry- Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

2. Values, beliefs, life-goals, etc.

 

In fact, I love your topic. I wrote up my own definition of what defines love/lust, from way back when. Here's a link to it. [link removed Fine Line Between Lust and Love

Enjoy.

Nice Topic!

Mahlina

[Cassie]

Hi mahlina. I love reading your posts very much. I was just wondering out of curiosity how old you were. I hope it's not too rude to ask.

[mahlina]

Thanks Cassie. I enjoy reading your posts too. I don't mind sharing my age, but just feel depressed when I think about it, considering the fact that I'm still financially dependent on my parents. I'm old enough to drink, younger than 25, and born the year that former President Reagan took office. LoL. I feel as though I am over the hill!!

[CarterJonas]

Mahlina, you are a **baby** compared to me I'm 26 (nearly 27) and single again!!!!