Advice Appreciated-When She's Unavailable

[michaelknight]

I'm in my early 30s, started a new position 6m ago and work closely with an amazing woman. I haven't met anyone like this before and it has been many years since I've felt this degree of attraction and compatibility. I'm typically aloof so it is rare I experience this. We get along very well and I feel there is some mutual attraction/tension but things are kept professional. That being said, she has been in a relationship for several years and there is no indication of any problems, talks about him when speaking of future plans but 'is in no rush to get married'.

 

Any advice on how to handle this? I don't want to have regrets one way or the other. I'm not concerned with getting involved with a coworker, the contract is for a couple years. My thoughts are that it is not my position to pursue her at this point and if she feels the same then with time her current relationship would end. I just wish there was an appropriate way of letting her know there is an option. As hard as it is I just carry on with business and keep things fun at work but the daily torture is affecting my health. In the meantime I still look for other prospects but it is often years between meeting women I'm truly interested in.

 

Thanks for any input.

[Mesemene]

We get along very well and I feel there is some mutual attraction/tension but things are kept professional. That being said, she has been in a relationship for several years and there is no indication of any problems, talks about him when speaking of future plans but 'is in no rush to get married'.

 

My thoughts are that it is not my position to pursue her at this point

 

I'd have to agree.

 

Approaching someone when you know they're in a relationship is never a good idea. If you approach her and she IS interested - you'd still be painting yourself as someone who knew she was in a relationship, and didn't respect normal boundaries. And if she's really happy where she's at and NOT interested, even if her current relationship doesn't work - it's doubtful she'd look at you as other than less than ideal BF material, for the same reason.

 

And to top it off - approaching her now, in a relationship, even if she dropped this guy and ran off with you to Tahiti - there'd be a foundation for lack of trust, as she'd wonder if you'd approach other married or committed friends/acquaintances while with her.

 

And you might wonder, if she was displaying interest in you while "committed" to another, how long would it be before you were in that position if someone else approached her?

 

Not sure where you're meeting women as a rule - but maybe try somewhere different to meet women who might interest you?

[pl3asehelp]

You know the answer - just stay away.