Dreams....need help please!!

[lewtion1]

ok i've been with my current gf for over 2 years now. prior to this relationship, i was in another one that lasted about 3 years. the 3 year one was my first REAL love. i haven't seen/heard from that girl in about 2 years now. recently, i've been having dreams about her and it makes me think about her alot. i mean i love my current gf and feel completely satisfied (on a conscious level at least), so why are these thoughts and dreams haunting me now?

 

the dreams started about 2 weeks ago, and it seems that it is now a reoccurring incident. Almost every night I dream about her. It's haunting me so much that now I think about her consciously.

 

Ok. Have you ever been so in love that you totally devoted your life to someone? Have you ever done things that were so mind boggling stupid and dangerous because you knew it would make that person smile? Have you ever gone to the ends of the earth to search for an answer that does not exist, because that person wanted to know? You get my point. For as long as I knew her, I always thought to myself "She's the 'one'". At the time, I broke up with her for personal reasons that could not be solved with her in my life. A personal quest if you will....tore us apart, with the reigns in my hand. I broke took her heart and tore it open and it killed me inside, but it was something I HAD to do at the time. It was the hardest/worst breakup of my life.

 

In the dreams, usually it's a reoccurring theme. It's present day and I'm still with my current gf. I happen to run into my ex. Expecting the worst, due to me assuming that she hates my guts for what i did, I stammer out a quick hello. This meeting usually occurs in a public place such as the mall, supermarket, etc. Surprisingly, she smiles and says hello back. She then proceeds to elaborate on how she's missed me. At this point, I also confess that I've missed her. She then admits that she also has a bf now, but would want to see if "WE" would work again. I agree and we basically start our relationship from scratch.

 

Now the dream has variations all the time, but the theme is always the same. Its always a rekindled romance type thing. The mere fact that I remember the dream on each account is messing me up in the worst way! Ugh... I need help.... someone? anyone?

[Gilgamesh]

I dont believe you really healed completely from your breakup, of years past, the dreams and the feelings your having are results of that.

 

Understand that you are finishing up that healing process, this is a good thing, some people may go their whole life with unresolved emotioal baggage. your repressed emotions are coming out, the ones you pushed down years ago.

 

Dont think this is some kind of sign, or that you dont love your current GF, this has nothing to do with her, and dont risk a beautiful thing by thinking that this is some kind of messege. dont contact or go looking for your ex. just deal with your feelings. You writing in this forum is a good thing, you should think of all those good times you had, the mistakes you made, feel all those things then let them go. your dreams will go away when you have confronted these emotions that you avoided many years ago.

 

Your a lucky guy, this will make you love your current G/F even more because your heart will be so much stronger and fully healed.

[lewtion1]

Gilgamesh,

Thank you for the great input. Perhaps you are right about the repressed emotions. I'm really not sure what would trigger this sort of emotional response over 2 years later though. I am still searching for answers.

[good_f]

More or less I've had the same problem with you.I loved my boyfriend but I used to dream of my ex.The thing is,when we are blindly in love with a person,when we breathe and live for him/her they become more than a part of us.When something doesn't work out and we have to decide that life HAS to go on without them,we attempt to make new relationships,meet more people,try to fall in love again.The question is...is it really right?Even though we go on and fall deeply in love with new people,there's always a feeling in our subconscious that....something's missing.None will ever forget their first true love no matter what.The only thing we can do,however is go on and try to be as fine as possible. Even if you love your new girlfriend the figure of your ex exists in your subconscious and that's the reason you dream of her.If you know that there is no way that you can be together again,and if you really love your new girlfriend I suggest that you stay with her (the new one) so that none gets hurt.Hopefully time will help you forget both consciously and subconsciously.Unfortunately sometimes we have to take life as it is....