How do we know it was true love? Can we even tell?

[Sookie]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm just wondering, how do we know it was true love between our ex's and us? Are we even able to tell?

 

Your thoughts please

[tommytoxen]

I can confidentally say it wasn't true love between me and neither of my ex's.

 

For starters, if it was true love, they wouldn't be ex's would they?

 

And secondly, I couldn't care less if I got a phone call telling me she'd died. That's pretty much how I know.

[Mr Man]

Well, in my opinion, 'true love' is something from Disney films. In my view, being 'in love' is being totally convinced that you love someone; there's just no doubt. It's like asking 'do you love your mother?' - it's almost a silly question, you just KNOW you do. Being 'in love' is loving someone with one major difference, you feel passionate sexual chemistry towards that person, too.

 

If you and/or you former partner loved one another doubtlessly and felt very strong sexual chemisty between one another at one point, then yes, you were 'in love'.

 

People can fall out of love, it happens all the time - it doesn't mean the love wasn't 'true' at one point. But the Disney idea of 'true love' doesn't exist in the real world. Disney is for kids - it makes things overly-simple. There's normally a hero, a villain and a princess of some sort. The hero is plainly 'good', the villain is plainly 'evil' and Disney's idea of love is 'love each other forever and live happily ever after.' It's just a fairytale. Just in the same way that not every villain is pure evil and just in the same way not every hero is purely good. This is the real world.

 

Don't have unrealistic expectations of what 'love' is. I'm not saying love isn't a beautiful, deep, spiritual experience that can't have timeless and 'fairlytale-like' moments, but the failytale ideal of 'true love' doesn't exist, just like Santa Clause.

[MarnDark]

I'm young so I'm still trying to figure out what love is. I've said it to two girls but I'm not sure what it is yet.

 

GF1 and I went out for 2 years. I told her I loved her within 2 months. She had never had a bf before me.

GF2 and I went out for 1.5 years. I told her I loved her in 2 weeks, she felt the same way. She had never had a "love" before me.

 

The thing is that I thought I loved GF1, but when I started dating GF2 I realized that I liked her so much more than my first girlfriend. So much so that I am now doubting whether or not I even loved GF1. With GF2 I knew that I loved her immediately, I believe in love at first sight because I know that I loved her the first time I met her. But now that she ended it with me I am questioning her love for me. Maybe her "love" for me was more akin to the feelings that I felt for my first gf. It kinda belittles my experience with her because she told me that she probably could not love a man more than she loved me... clearly these were just empty words. Maybe with this new guy she will find that love with me was not actually love.

 

What I'm trying to say is that love is relative. How can we really know what "love" is? I think with more partners I will understand it better, but for now I do not think that "true love" is a real thing.

[catfeeder]

I find it helpful to minimize the impact of an ex rather than amplify it into some super-something that all future lovers much now compete with. Instead of dwelling on an ex, I'd rather trust that someday I'll find the lover who will blow all past exes into semi-relevance.