harsh284 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 You already have lost her so throw the remaining sand to the wind. When you got her back the first time you slowly but steadily lost her respect and she lost attraction. Now, go out and have a blast tonight. Take a smiling picture and put it up on Facebook or something. Go and talk to random women. Make fun of them. You will not think about her for awhile. But can she come back? Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Anything is possible. To put it bluntly, it won't be anytime soon and there will be other men in the mean time for her. Guaranteed. By the time it happens (IF IT DOES) you will have all of the power to hold or relinquish. You will be the decider with regard to things...if you were great to her in the relationship etc. So spend this time improving you for you. Date casually, aren't you in school? THAT IS THE BEST TIME! Pick yourself up and focus on YOU. Think about the only good thing to come off of that horrible Jersey Shore show, "Gym, Tan and Laundry." go do it, it works wonders on the self-esteem. Focus your mind on improving you, visualize yourself moving forward, visualize yourself laughing in her face when she tries to get validation for her immature mind set from you and realize that unless she gets her head right she doesn't GET to talk to you. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I feel like that she has used me - I feel ashamed of myself the way she talked to me as if I dont have any self-respect - I feel like committing suicide - What did I do wrong God ? - I am so frustrated - I was always there when she needed me or atleast help her over phone - Why me God?? - After so many years of effort I get nothing except pain - I wish I had not got into this relationship - It has given me more heartache than happiness - She thinks I am a loser - Just because I care for her she thinks I dont have any self-respect - Someone please help me. Link to comment
BlueRose66 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 You have to stop internalizing this! What that means is you are taking what she said and how she acted and making it your truth. Instead, what you need to say to yourself is "Wow, she is showing me who she is". Truly, she is NOT a nice person to have acted like this towards you. No one should have the power to define our self worth, but that is what is happening in your case. Stop looking to her for your self worth. Try to realize she showed you who she was by acting the way she did. I think the men's suggestions here are really good ones for the Next relationship. I know it hurts now, but the only way out it through. Learn from this so the next time you are with someone you know what to do and not to do. Dont you dare think about think about suicide for a twit like that. You did nothing wrong, you did not deserve how she treated you. Just go NC and if you ever hear from her or see her again, you can give her the big snub. Take care! Link to comment
harsh284 Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Thanks but i feel i have lost all my self-respect - dunno how to regain that - I have done so much introspection but I still dont understand where did I go wrong - wat is it that she wants? - Just a week before she said "I cannot be with you", we were discussing our marriage details over phone - we were doing video chat and everything - dunno wat happened suddenly? Link to comment
harsh284 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Today, I cut-off all my strings with her though I still want her back - dunno if I did right or wrong - In the morning, I called her 2-3 times and sent 2-3 messages - she just ignored me - I realized that there is no point now - so finally I messaged her "Fine I realize that u hate me a lot or probably dont have anything for me. Best of luck for ur life. Do well. Just want to tell u I really love u but I will not force u. will not bother u again. sorry for my irritating behaviour and for not keeping my word in the past. Miss you. Bye" - After this I felt lot of pain in my heart because now I cant turn back. Still dont understand wat went wrong in the relationship - still feel if she had something in her mind she should have told/discussed with me or was is it that she just lost attraction - dunno but if she lost attraction she could have told me this politely rather than blaming me or saying that I am not as intelligent or getting irritated from me - she could have ended it politely on a happy note or pobably she was just fed up of me - I still want her back desperately but I think its time to forget her now. Please everyone let me know ur views Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 The only place you have to go now is up. Don't feel bad though. Earlier I was on Facebook and one of my Ex's friends appeared while I was searching for someone else. So I clicked on her page so I could block her. She is an egocentric semi-chubby ugly chick wanna be dancer who thinks people want to subscribe to her (she has none) so she has some stuff set to public. As I was moving the touch pad quickly to the left side where you block people. I accidentally "liked" something and then very quickly spam unlike and blocked her. I was embarassed at first and then after some testing realized that unless she was staring at that portion of her fbook she didn't see it. I almost did some damage control even though I'm ignoring my Ex. But, no result will come of it. I was suuuuuper embarassed for a second (even got some heart pounding) and then used my logic to come to terms with it and LAUGH at myself because it was an honest mistake on the way to block someone. You will eventually get to the point where you don't want to know anything or hear anything about them for your own healing. Also, your "angry loving message" will eventually bring a smile to her face when she has been humbled. Try not to dwell and hold your head high as you walk away to new beginnings! The sky is the limit! Who knows what the future holds for harsh284! Link to comment
harsh284 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Did I write anything wrong in that message? Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Well, I think the act of breaking down and sending the message followed by the final one you sent sends another message whether you write it or not, desperation. However if you continue with NC after your "fine, guess you don't care, i still love and miss you, peace." and then ignore anything she sends down the road at first (she will have to jump through hoops to get your attention at that point) you will find that she may "get where you're coming from" in the mean time. You have now done all you could do and then some. Link to comment
harsh284 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Well, I think the act of breaking down and sending the message followed by the final one you sent sends another message whether you write it or not, desperation. However if you continue with NC after your "fine, guess you don't care, i still love and miss you, peace." and then ignore anything she sends down the road at first (she will have to jump through hoops to get your attention at that point) you will find that she may "get where you're coming from" in the mean time. You have now done all you could do and then some. I am feeling desperate and weak - I dont knw how i am gonna cope up with the breakup this time - falling low on confidence - lost all my focus - not able to understand what did i do wrong In a few months time she is going to be a big officer - after that she will never come back cos she will be better than me career wise - God please help me - show me the right direction Link to comment
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