New Here...

[Prezkot]

I apologize if this is in the wrong area or disrupts proper etiquette... I'm still learning the tools of the trades on this certain forum... The shell of my inferiority complex tells me I should't even post this at all...

 

Anyways, where to begin? I'm 19, and I was in and out of high school because of anxieties, depression, insecurities, and general social inadequacies. I was put on just about every anti-depressant, anti-anxiety medication you could describe, and by my senior year I barely squeaked by with a G.E.D. even though I was fully capable of getting scholarships if the social aspect didn't interfere with my academics.

 

After a year off and learning to rehabilitate myself and weaning me off the drugs, I just got into Community College. While my anxieties and depression have worn off with maturity (or an embittered self-worth, I am unsure of which ), it still doesn't solve my natural shyness and the fact I've been without real peer contact for the better part of 2 years (not that it was much to begin with).

 

My biggest problem, whether it comes to making friends or meeting girls, seems to be the approach. When thrown into group situations, ie. school multi-tasking or 'trapped in an elevator' scenes, I can usually converse, even lead, with aplomb. But when I'm just sitting in the rec room and a girl (even guys) is accross from me, even if they make 'eye contact', it's hard just to say 'Hey'. And on those occasional moments when the conservation DOES get rolling, I'm all over the map on deciding what my next step is in terms of knowing the person longer than the conversation.

 

I've read some threads about 'if the girl asks the guy out, that'd be so awesome', and I agree. I'm no stud, but I know I'm not the ugly one of the group. Especially when ugly should only apply to "personality", and I know mine's good because I always made people feel good with a laugh or a thought back in my heyday (circa age 12 ). So I seriously think alot of times I'm just unlucky, that in the natural selection of life, the people who would 'get' me, are either too shy to speak up, or I just haven't met.

 

So I guess since most of you aren't going to take the time to read this, (*cough*complex*cough*) I'll wrap it up. I guess this serves part as an introduction to myself (this might be a cool forum...), and a question to anyone else in the same boat as I,

 

What's been the best thing for you to get over the hump?

 

Thanks,

Matt

 

P.S: Our Comm. College extra-curricular clubs are horrible. I considered joining one until I realized I didn't have enough passion for Bush, Christ, or Computers, and I was neither African-American, Hispanic, or Gay.

[sisterlynch]

I go to community college too. I really enjoy the atmosphere, the teachers can teach, the students are interested and most of the time, things go really well.

 

I find just talking to people in class for me is enough contact. I am also planning on tutoring or working in the community to help me with my own self esteem issues. I would also suggest taking psychology classes to help understand the different personality issues that we all have.

[warnerbro1]

Yeah man, I'm actually kinda in the same situation as you. I had a lot of those same problems in high school. I'm also going to a community college. I still have insecure feelings when in class. I've lost a lot of weight since January, I was hoping that would give me more confidence to conversate with others in class. But when you are so used to not a lot of interaction and not use to starting convos, its hard to do it. I'm trying to change my outlook and the way I carry myself. I just want to say I'm going to work on being the best I can this fall quarter. I'm working on getting a job, cuz honestly, thats a big reason why I always feel inferior at school knowing that everyone else has some sorta job (even though some don't) and life outside of just going to school for a couple of hours. Just do whatever you can to work on your self-esteem/confidence. Try to just start small talk as soon as possible. Because the longer you don't talk to anyone, the harder it will later on in that class. I know people wanted, from some of the signals I was reading, to talk to me in a math class I had last spring. I didn't talk to anyone at all for the most part. Just change your way of thinking and start talking to people.

 

I don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm not very good at explaining myself. But hey, I tried. 8)

[Prezkot]

Thanks for replies...

 

Yeah, I'm in Psych 101... I've always been interested in that kinda thing and my own problems is what led me to it...

 

I agree, getting a job should hopefully get some gears rolling as well, because honestly I have nothing to do outside of class/homework.

 

The Math class is a drag, but the English class is pretty cool. I got into several conversations, that to most people is nothing, but kind of made my day, LOL.

 

One day at a time...

[warnerbro1]

Well, just keep up that positive outlook!!

[tobereleased]

Damn, there are people like me out there?

 

the sitautions you guys explained pretty much sum up my college experience.

 

In high school i never really had a lot of friends- so i got use to it. I did however have a little group of us hang out everyday, and having a twin brother helps.... but also hindered my "social skills".

 

 

See, when you already have your best friend with you (my twin brother), you never really need anyone else.. and now that i'm in college. my brother isn't attending my school. So i'm basically alone and i don't know how to start friendships.

 

Its now my third year, i have some "friends" but not good friends. The school is a lot of work... and that is part of the problem.. i never had time to really develop my social skills with my fellow students....

 

This semester seems like it will be light work, so i'm going to try and be more social.... if i can get over this social anxiety...

 

Good luck to you guys,

 

 

 

 

--- oh yeah and welcome to the forum! ... eventhough i'm new here too. heh