Tell Your Children About A Previously Miscarried Child??????

[drahcir]

If one of the children you conceived miscarried, would you tell your future children about him / her???? HOw would you tell them (if you would)?? At what age?? And do you think your parents may have not told you about a misscarried sibling????

 

I would tell my children everything they wanted to know. I feel it is fair, considering it was just as much thier sibling as your previous child.

[hurtabandoned]

I miscarried about 2 years prior to the birth of my present child. She's just a toddler now and wouldn't know what that really meant.

 

When she gets older I plan on telling her. I would tell her that she had a brother or sister but that the baby just wasn't strong enough to make it into the world. I would also tell her that because of the loss we know how much of a blessing it is that she made it here and is with us today.

 

I would speak of it in a more positive way and avoid getting into the details of the event.

 

My parents did tell me about a previous lost sibling that happened before me. I think I was about 8 when I was told. The right age will vary among children.

[kauaiangirl83]

I would tell my children about their brother or sister that had passed away. My boyfriend's parents had their first child die from sids and they told my boyfriend and his 2 brothers about it. Every year they talk about Crystal and remember her short life. My bf wasn't born yet and he didn't know Crystal at all, but she is remembered and I know that my bf appreciates knowing about her.

[June4life]

When I was 5, my mom had a stillborn. At that time, my sister was 7, and my brother was 3, and we all knew about it. Since the baby was a stillborn, and almost full-term, we had a small funeral-type gathering and we buried her. At the time, my parents just explained to us that our baby sister was up in heaven with God, but someday we will get to meet her.

 

Before my parents got married, my mom decided she wanted 4 children. The three of us were born, and then she had a stillborn. After this, she decided she wanted no more children. However, a few months later, my mom got pregnant again. The stillborn child was born on August 3rd, 1991. Exactly one year later, on August 3rd 1992, my mom gave birth to my youngest brother. After having her desired 4 children, my mom had her tubes tied.

 

It just shows my family that things happen for reasons. That baby was born a stillborn, however if that wouldnt have happened, we wouldnt have my younger brother now.

[lusitana]

My mom miscarried a child...three years? before I was born. I was told after I understood what miscarriage was and was lamenting one day about how I wished I had an older brother like my friend had, just a matter-of-fact "You might've had an older brother or sister, but they were miscarried."

 

Later on I learned the graphic details: She fell down the stairs and hurt her stomach but the D&C showed the fetus had deteriorated to the point where they couldn't tell the sex; in fact, it had died some time ago and for some odd reason hadn't been expelled by her body. If that weren't the case, I think she'd still be wracked with unfounded guilt. Of course, that's all a little much for an eight-year old to handle so I got the abridged version!

[RayKay]

I was an accident, but my mum and father tried very hard for the next one. It took five years, and my mom had a few miscarriages (one of twins as well). I was 3-5 around the time, and was told about them, though I do not know all the very specific details, I just remember my mum going to the hospital, etc. Finally, my brother was born - and I am glad he was My sister followed a couple years later (again an accident!) and there were no more miscarriages other than the ones between me and my brother.

 

I think it is okay to tell other siblings, but it depends. It is quite normal for many women to miscarry in first couple weeks even, when there is something 'wrong' with the early development of the fetus. Sometimes, this happens before someone even knows they were pregnant. But, if the pregnancy was a little more advanced, I might say it to children who could understand.