Oasiswater Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Hey guys, So some of you may have seen my last post about lusting over my ex and our sex-life. Anyway, I'd pretty much say that I've done a good job of sticking to my guns and keeping away from her. We broke up in July btw, and have had NC since then. She broke it a few times actually, but I never replied. However, the urge to contact her has become even stronger, and it's getting worse every day. I dream of her pretty often, and most times she's upset about something, or we're together (romantically and not). I bargain with myself over contacting her because I know it's a bad idea. Sometimes I want to make sure she's okay, other times I just want to say "Thank you" for the birthday text. I'm not sure what my motive is. I'm not sure if I miss her, if I want her back, if I want to see if she's alright, or if I just want her to know that I still care about her as a person. I'm really not sure * * * it is. Our 5 year anniversary would be next month. Any clues? Link to comment
Oasiswater Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Technically I broke up with her, but she basically forced my hand. It was a nasty breakup, lots of deceit and infidelity (on her end). I pretty much consider myself the dumpee Link to comment
symbiot Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Dont do it. It will only cause pain. I dream of my ex a lot and sometimes i really want to contact her but I don't and neither should you. Link to comment
Melting Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Stay strong and DON'T contact her! Fight your urges, you will feel happier in yourself that you did. Don't give in now...... Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 What everyone else said. You're going to have urges constantly at first. Over time you'll care less. Don't - do - it. Link to comment
Oasiswater Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 What everyone else said. You're going to have urges constantly at first. Over time you'll care less. Don't - do - it. I kinda thought 2 months of NC was a long time. Guess i was wrong! Link to comment
symbiot Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Two mos is nothing. Try two yrs Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 It's only natural to want to see how they are doing. If you were truly genuine to the individual and your bored as hell its going to eat you up to check up on them. That is if your still single. I don't check up on mine because it would bring me down hard. NC amigo. Maybe some day (years down the road) you could have a conversation with them but until then just disconnect from the social networks and have fun. Life is too damn short Link to comment
ThatOneGuyK Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I read a few of your posts. Your story sounds Eerily familiar. But I was the other guy. She was in a 4 year relationship. Broke up. a couple months of friendly chat... Visit on her birthday. Promise of a Long Distance Relationship.... Then boom, she meets me 2 weeks later. I didn't know about any of this until months in to the realtionship. Found out because a message popped up on her phone as I was getting it for her. some message about "being sexy" and "I miss you sooooo much" She made up some lie about it being a CLOSE friend who's married and has kids in another state, and that's just how they playfully talk. Broke up shortly after that. Then she lured me back in. This basically happened over and over through out the rest of the relationship. Things would be great... she'd withdrawl.... I'd find out she'd been sending messages/calling her ex again..... that happened 3 or 4 times until I recently broke up with her for good. It was a pretty nasty break up because I was was so confused and mind f*c*ed. I loved her. I've never fallen for someone as hard as and fast as I fell for her. Only the second woman I've said I Love You to in my life(and I'm 35, I've been married, and have dated plenty.) The reason I wrote you is to tell you you're doing GREAT. The difference between you and him is that he kept falling for it, and still is. He's still kinda messed up in the head and still dreams of being with her some day. He's doing this becasue he couldn't let go. He should have gone NC a long time ago... But he's convinced they're "Best friends" and thinks some day they'll be together. Even though she's never told him that will happen. Last note. Sounds like she was sending you those messages while she was with her new man. That just goes to show you that she hasn't learned a damn thing and is still doing the same things she did when she was with you. good luck man! Stay NC! Link to comment
Oasiswater Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Thanks for that post ThatOneGuyK, it's awesome that I found someone who can relate, even if it's to the other side of the story. I'm starting to become really bothered by this. Some of you might have seen my other thread where I said that she tried to hack my facebook. I'm starting to feel somewhat harassed. I feel like she's pushing it in my face. She won't come out and say "I want to get back together," but she'll sit there and continuously do things to let me know that she's STILL following my life. She probably knows that I want her back, and is intentionally doing this to hurt me. Honestly it's working. The last time we spoke I told her NOT to contact me unless she wanted to work on getting back together. I want so bad to contact her and just tell her to STOP following me, stop harassing me, and stop trying to invade my privacy. I'm starting to feel like a child who's being teased with a toy that he wants but can't have, and I don't like it. Link to comment
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