Help

[Heartbrokn1979]

I'm in desperate need of advise:

 

My girlfriend and I have just broken up - 2 days ago; after we had decided on taking a break 3 weeks ago!! I still don't really know the reason for the break - she asked for time and space to think about / figure out what she wants and where we going and to sort out her health and work issues and re-gaining her independence (her daughter and her had moved back in with her mom after her divorce) - the only "problem" she said she had specifically with me was her concern about my relationship with her daughter from a previous marriage!!

 

Initially the space and time went ok - but after a week i could'nt handle not understanding why and barely communicating with the woman i love - so i contacted her and she explained (sort of) and we agreed no real contact other than texting / bbm's!! I then re-assessed and gave her the space and time - with minimal texts and bbm's over the next 2 weeks!!

 

Problem was that during this period there wasnt much communication and basically nothing from her side; some of my bbm's to her were never replied to and the ones that were replied to - the replies were just short. There were also numerous facebook and bbm status updates from her including:

- (on a friday night): great conversation and company; just missing my sister and wine. Love life!!

- out with the old; cant wait for the new!!

- decisions have been made....

 

Now after the final one (above) which happened this past friday - i tried contacting her to find out if it was about us and her response was she's busy - but i pressed on to ask - if its about us to please let me know!! She then deleted me as a bbm contact; and sent me an sms saying that due to me not giving her time and space we should end our relationship and that it was for the best of both of us!!

 

She is now not taking an calls or replying to sms's and it just seems rather unfair on me!!

 

Problem is: she is my life and i dont wanna lose her!!

 

How do I go about getting her back!!

 

Please help!!

[sonypirates]

She asked for time and space but you hounded her till she thought you guys should end the relationship. If you gave her that time and space things *may* have gone differently had you used that time wisely.

[jolbell69]

How long were you together? I agree with sony - you really should have respected her request for space and time. However, I believe she had made her mind up with those comments she made, which were very insensitive IMO. You should really now leave her alone and concentrate on yourself. Your comment that "she is my life" speaks volumes about your codependence on this woman. You need to be happy on your own before you can hope to have an equal and stable relationship. This time is the worst, and the pain can be unbearable - everyone here can empathise, but you will gain nothing from begging or pleading with your ex.

[TomboyMS]

I agree with the others. Back off! The reason there was no conversation was that she wanted space which means NO CONVERSATION. Show her that you can give her what she asked for and maybe you will get another chance.

[Heartbrokn1979]

Thank you all for your comments - and definitely points taken!!

 

How long do you feel there should be no contact - and do you think that my position is reversible (I could get her back)??

 

Should I wait for her now to make initial contact?