Why is it not the same?

[alexis100]

Hey Everyone -

 

To years ago in the month of January, I started going out with this guy. I was a freshman in highschool at that time. He was a junior. We were three years apart in age though because I skipped third grade and am a year younger for my grade. I have always been more mature than the people in my grade though. To make a long story short, I fell in love. And I am not being facetious...this was my first love. I ended up losing my virginity to my boyfriend and he ended up cheating a month later. I am not sure I would have even broken it off after that because of my strong love for him, but the fact that he stopped talking to me ended that. We had been together for four months. After the break up I could't do anything. Most people experience this at older ages. I was fourteen. Anyway, it was like my world stopped. I stopped eating, stopped hanging out with my friends, and spent my time crying or writing letters to him that I knew I'd never give him. About three months later I was almost back to normal, but still very sad, I didn't have crushes on any other guys, it was as if my world was still revolving around him. My friends were good to me though. Since then I haven't had a boyfriend, but have hooked up with about five other people, but we weren't actually dating. I can't feel the same things for them. It's not like the same feeling when i first started dating my ex. I feel like after I got so hurt I'll never be the same. How long will it take me to regroup? Will I always feel love for him since he was my first? Has anyone experienced this? Anyone with a few words about this please let me know. (sorry so long)

[kaliguy80]

me and my ex broke up year and a half ago and i m still stuck on her....i hangout with friends who are gals and hungout with this one gal, but nothin romantic but i guess nothin seems to work for me....although i m trying to move on it seems like the little stuff pulls me back....some people move on soon and some don't, especially the ones who has put so much work and effort in a relationship....and like u my ex was my frist g/f and since then i dont' really feel like having one......hope things get better.....just don't talk to him or do anything that will remind u of him.....when u go out with other guys, try not to compare and think of the feelings u had with ur ex....maybe that should do the work.......well, i don't know wat else to say, except for, good luck. take care.

[Axl]

Sorry to hear that. A similar thing actually happened to me. I went out with a girl for a year, we were engaged and everything, i always remember thinking she was the one and that it would last forever....how wrong I was she cheated on me and went off with another bloke before telling me it was over and that was that. I know this may sound a little strange but i think if your girl/boyfriend actually says to you "its over" you know its true & real. Where as if they just stop talking to you, you never have to get over them as such if you see what i mean and it leaves you more worked up and confused. But i guess everyone is different.

good luck

[LostInASeaOfFaces]

I read your story, and I ws taken back to a time when I was in your shoes. Losing someone close to you is always hard, especially if it is someone you are in love with. Nobody knows why he left, some guys are just assholes, and you have to learn to deal with it. When my ex and I broke up, it hurt, but at the same time I think it was for the best. You are very young, and you have probably heard this a thousand times, but you have no idea what love is. I am 20 and I dont even know what love is. All I know is that people come and go, it will happen many more times in your life. The hurt you are feeling is normal. You feel rejected form everything and everyone, and there is no telling how long it will last, the only one who knows that is you. Your first heartbreak is always the worst, its normal. What you need to do know is learn, and move on. You will feeel love again, trust me. Try doing little things to build your confidence back up. Start talking to new people, doing new things, and yes, date other guys. Take care of yourself. Stop having sex, your too young, and when a guy finds out that you put out, they will look past all of your truly great qualities, and look for sex, and if that happens, you may never feel love again. Hope this helps out.