shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 hi, my ex and i of 2 years broke off in end of november of last year, we were still keeping in contact 7 months during our break up she was seeing someone during that time but thing didn't workout. finally i felt i wanted to get back together and i thought she felt the same, our relationship was unique it was a long distance relationship, but i was willing to move down to be with her! i went to visit her twice in a 1 month span and she expressed how much she missed me and i felt the same.after my second visit i thought things were going fairly well i did everything i can to please her and went out of my way for her, then things just turned around in just a 2 day span everything just blew up in my face, she said she did not know what she wanted and that she didn't want to string me along, during that conversation i found out she went out for drinks with someone ,i kind of dragged it out of her! i felt led on and talen for a fool,yet she said she didn't want to let me go.finally we were messaging eachother on msn a couple of days later and she still insisted she didn't know what she wanted and she said it is sad to say goodbye. I told her that if there is someone else that i don't want to stand in her way and i won't wait around for her and i have to do the same and live my life. finally i told that we should not message any longer and she replied ok and we said our goodbyes. it's been three weeks and i've been an emotional wreck, i couldn't sleep nights thinking about her, i'm trying to tell myself it was for the best but it's so hard, some days i feel like breaking down. It's really sad that i will never hear from her again, I was really in love with that women, and i felt i was thrown away like a piece of garbage. my confidence it shot and each time i'll go on a date i can't help it comparing my ex with my date. how can i get her out of my MIND and move on, sometime i wait by the telephone in some kind of hope she'll call or maybe an email ! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 i could use some valuable advice at this moment, cause i feel really wasted right now! Link to comment
Shane Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 There is a number of things you MUST do: 1. Let the grief happen( its normal) 2. Let youself feel angry. 3. Its hard(I still havent done it yet), but accept that she isnt coming back 4. Think that there are sooo many other feeling like you or even worse(like me) Listen Two months ago my girl of four years broke up with me, I always thought that I was going to be the one to do it if it ever happened but it turned out just the opposite. I loved her more during that time than over the course of the four years. Then she smaked it on me, I think about her every time I go to sleep(espcially), and about her being w/ other guys. It sucks real bad, trust me I was much worse off than you are in the beggining but it gets better. Eat good foods, low in fat and low in sodium. Stay away from red meats. Excersize, excersize, and ummmm exercise. You will look alot better and other girls will want you(maby even your ex when she sees you down the road(her friend says look at that guy hes got a bod, you turn around your ex is like damn I gotta get him back, but sorry b**** im with someone else and way hotter at that) j/k. And another thing DONT DRINK!! Couse if you do I promise its like experiencing the breakup all over again the next morning. Link to comment
light bulb Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 I agree with shane...exercise and eat well. You WILL feel better about yourself which will ultimately help you to heal quicker. I posted this in my thread as a reply to what you had said, so I'm just going to copy and paste it: I know how you feel buddy. It's very upsetting to hear that she took for a ride for so long though. 10 months, man that's not fair at all. That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Still, I'm constantly checking my emails and looking at my phone for missed calls. There's never anything there though. I think we both need to accept that our ex's have already moved on and now it's our time to do the same. That dwindle of hope only exists in our heads...if our ex's felt the same way, they'd want to be with us! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 thank you oatmeal and shane i really appreciate the advice, i really needed that! my ex meant everything to me, but i guess she didn't feel the same, she made her choice and i have to live with it, it out of my control, i feel that if she did call or write i wouldn't know how to react, i feel upset right now and weak, i don't think i can ever get past that and to be treated like waste! Link to comment
Superfly81 Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Aiaiai... I was reading your post.. and there it was! Let me quote you: " i did everything i can to please her and went out of my way for her" Never ever do everything you can to please a woman! It will explode in your face as it did with you. Women want a man that is confident and not a push over. You were all that. I read you visited her... how many times did she make the effort to come over? Next time you are with a girl, make sure to let HER work for the relationship too. Make it a 50/50 where it comes to giving and gettig!!!!! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 your absolutley right superfly, did become a pushover and it did blow up in my face, i'll make sure it will not happen to me again, i was too much of a nice guy and i see what happened, she walked all over me man! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 keep in mind she did this to me before, she was seeing someone else 2 months after we broke off, i wanted to get back together but she pushed me away like yesterdays news, well she got dumped and sent me an unsual email she said" why do guys treat girls like crap do the feel inferior or do they like to get have there presense known" anyway it was something like that. she sucked me back in! things were going rosey and talking agout future plans and poof,had drinks with this other guy and she gave me the i don't know what i want routine, and pushed me away once again. This time for the last time, i don't want to be sucked in again Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 i have a question, what IF and that's a huge IF i doubt she'll ever will call or email me again what should I tell her? how should i react? anybody out there with an answer Link to comment
KidGuitar2 Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Waiting around for her to call or e-mail you is not healthy man. You said you don't want to be a push over or be sucked back in again and that's exactly what youre doing. I know its not easy at all to move on. But from what I've read it sounds like she wants this to be over. However is she does contact you be confident and avoid relationship talk unless she brings it up. What you need to do now is focus on yourself and moving on. I agree with the posts that says exercise and eat right. But whatever you do don't brood and mope around, it will only make things worse for you. Link to comment
light bulb Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 The greatest revenge you can give to her would be to live on and be happy. If she ever calls you, hopefully a long time from now, and you've been exercising, eating well, and feeling confident; you're not going to want to talk to her. And even if you do give her the time of day, she'll see your changes and it'll drive her absolutely crazy. Get that hope out of your head though! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 I'm really trying to deal with this,trying to be strong, I have no choice really,My heart just sinks to my stomach! I never felt like this before in the past, all it was , was a couple of weeks and it started feeling better.this time its getting the best of me, I feel that i'm getting older and time is running out, i lost someone dear to me and there won't be anybody that will make me feel that way again.i'm trying to tell myself that she wasn't the right person for me and there is someone else out there that will appreciate me. i see her online, but i hold myself back from messaging her i just can't do it, i tell myself there no point! Link to comment
lunatic Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 HEY Stop living in the past and by the IF system. She is not coming back and if she did you should tell her to walk. Sorry to be so harsh but, your forgetting the most important thing in the world and that is YOU. She hurt YOU and she left YOU let me ask a question does that make YOU happy? NO that is why your here. Now get your butt out of the house and start doing something to better yourself. When I left my ex a year ago I was almost 250 pounds (6 foot tall). Well I was FAT and after I thought about what I did not like about me I started dieting and exercising. Now I have lost almost 60 pounds and I look and feel great. By the way I notice a lot more women checking me out now-a-days. So you have some soul searching to do. If your not going to better yourself and figure out what makes you unhappy in life then you will never be able to love someone else. You really do have to love yourself before you can truly love another. I stand by that because it is the most accurate statement about a person in the world. It is hard in the beginning to move on but, in the long run you will look back with disgust about how your dealing with this. Love and life sometimes are not fair but, you have to pick up the pieces and get your butt motivated. No one will do it for you so take the initiative and get going. Someday you will find the right one for you and you will never look back. Good luck, Hubman 8) Link to comment
light bulb Posted August 31, 2004 Share Posted August 31, 2004 Hubman's giving you some tough love, but he's absolutely right. You need to pick your chin up and live on. If you don't look out for yourself, nobody will! Link to comment
shelby Posted August 31, 2004 Author Share Posted August 31, 2004 i absolutly agree,but it's just so damn hard to let go! but i see no other way Link to comment
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