Jump to content

New romance question, moving fast..


Recommended Posts

Me: 35 year old guy. Her: 38 year old woman

I had been doing the online dating thing for a little while. I meet a couple of nice girls, went on a ton of dates with girls that didnt really do it for me. However, this nice girl randomly contacts me and I suggest that we meet. I liked her profile and that she was interested in the same things I was, and that she is eventually looking to have a steady partnership and children. I meet her and am immediately attracted to her and she was to me. I hug her and immediately felt warmth and chemistry. In fact, it was raining and I pulled her right under my umbrella with my arm around her and walked with her with a lot of comfort. We talked a lot, made a lot of eye contact, smiling, and enjoying each other's vibe. We walked around the park and flirted and chatted for about an hour and for some reason I just started kissing her! We make out big time and we both enjoy it. On my end, I was very comfortable and the chemistry was intense. We flirted, played, and talked for another hour and a half before going over to my favorite restaurant. We have dinner and we are both still enjoying the vibe. We go outside and it seems like it's still up in the air about what happens next, we are both having so much fun and vibing so well, sex wouldnt have been the weirdest thing in the world. We make out, but I kind of want her to come over, not for sex, but just to cuddle. I tell her that I am inviting her over with the intention of just hanging out, not to have sex and that I want to approach these kinds of things with more clarity. She agreed and turned down my offer to come over to try to take it slow. I was fine with it and we kissed a bit more before parting. In short, I was stoked


So, we do the the courtship ritual thing with the texting, told her I had a great time and wanted to see her again. We make plans to see each other later in the week, but the plans I had made fell through and I suggest that we cook dinner together and hang out at my place. I knew it would be hard not to try to have sex with her, but I wanted her to come over and spend some close time. We made dinner and and it was nice. The vibe was still there and we were as flirty and sexy as two people can be with each other. We go into my backyard and sit on a blanket and talk for a really long time. We're flirting and holding each other, massaging each other, having a good time. We make out more and we are doing more flirting. I am sitting and I pull her on top of me and its pretty sexual, but we are maintaining and enjoying our make out session. It lasts a long time like this and its pretty much bliss, we are both really feeling the closeness and the warmth. I have to go inside to take care of a roommate issue for a sec and she says that she should get going but comes inside with me. We cant stop making out with each other and I get the wild idea of how nice it would be to have very passionate sex with her! She starts grabbing me and Im grabbing at her and things are heating up. I start pulling her into my room and she says that she should probably just go tonight. As much as I want her, I agree and dont stand in the way and tell her that it's totally fine, we should take our time and that I still want to try to get to know her.


She leaves and I text her the next day telling her that I enjoyed the time, etc. She responds in the same. I text her to arrange something for in the week, but she tells me that she's going to be busy, but she is free on sunday, I agree to meet her then. I dont hear from her and I feel like Im feeling needy. I feel like I miss her and I am pretty excited about seeing her, but I dont like feeling this way. I checked my online profile and saw that she had looked at my profile the day after, but I was confused as to why I hadnt heard from her. I guess she is playing it cool too, but it would be nice to not have to initiate every contact. I would love a sweet text. I went ahead and took off my profile because it was showing that I was on when I really wasnt and I kind of want to subcommunicate that I hold what we have as something sort of special. And Im too busy for dating online right now anyways.


I hate feeling this way, I havent tried to contact her because I dont want to come accross as needy and all of that, but damn, I really want to see her. I also feel that she might be wanting to take it slow. I hope she doesnt think Im a player. I have good intentions with her, she drives me crazy in a good way!

Link to comment

I think you did move rather fast. I think that if you were supposed to see her on Sunday and had plans and she blows them off, I would give her a day or to and express that you are sorry you weren't able to hook up on Sunday if it was yesterday. Are sure you had clear plans with a time? Next i would invite her to something in public - a live play, an art festival, museum, etc, that doesn't involve going at it at your house.

Link to comment

Yes, I am trying to slow down. Unfortunately, slowing down is not the easiest thing for me for some reason. My new relationships have always started out lightning fast. Some worked out ok, others did not. But I am also at a point where I do want to have serious and meaningful relationships.. that work. I am trying my hardest to be patient, but damn, I really want to see her!


Yes, there's lots of physical attraction and chemistry between us, we have that. But we seem to get along pretty well in general. Its nice. It reminds me of why I shouldnt ever settle. Some people just feel better than others for me for some reason.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...