i've cheated multiple times.. now what?

[braz]

Today I went to the park (which is a very secluded park, by the way), and I happened to see my ex there. At first we just talked and she gave me a hug, because we haven't seen eachother in a while. We walked around, and after a while she started kissing me and touching me. Next thing I knew she was on top of me, beginning to have sex with me. Then I realised what I was doing and I got up, went to my car, and drove home. I don't think of my ex in that way at all, I have no emotional feelings for her, so it meant nothing. The only thing it meant was a lot of guilt for my stupid mistake.

 

I am 17 years old, and I have been with my 18 year old girlfriend for about 6 months, and this is not the first time this has happened. I love her with all my heart, and I've never loved anyone more than this before. The only down side of this relationship is that she lives about six and a half hours away (but she goes to college only three hours away), so my hormones get a little out of control without her being present.

 

Other times I've hung out with my ex (whom I am still friends with), it has always led up to fooling around and near sex. This is the third time it's happened, and I haven't told my girlfriend any of it, because I'm afraid of what she will do, and because I don't want to hurt her. She is an extremely understanding person and I think we might be able to make it through this, but I just don't want to hurt her.

 

I've been crying since it happened earlier today, and I don't know what to do. I am honestly sincerely guilty. Should I not tell her, and just never do it again? (I'm definitely going to stop hanging around my ex). Should I keep it to myself, or should I tell her and possibly destroy our relationship?

 

I will never do this again. It hurts too much. I can't bear the guilt. Please help me.

[Cloud802]

Ok, sounds like your hormones are way out of whack, either you tell your g/f or you don't, that's your descision, but I'll tell you how to keep yourself under control. Whack it, yeah, that's right, you heard me, whack it, every day too. That should keep your hormones at bay and help you gain control over these lusty feelings, as for whether or not to tell her I personally don't know as I've never cheated, people have tried to get me to cheat though.

[Mike_Wazowski]

Is it only with your ex girlfriend that you have been cheating with? Or has it been with alot of other girls as well?

 

I think it has a lot to do with power, a man's prowess.....wanting to show women who you are and what a great lover you are! Wanting women to remember you! Like a movie star, you want people to 'Know you', 'Love you', 'Worship you'!

 

Hey....wait a minute!!! I just described myself!!

[squarepeg]

Sounds like you and your ex shouldn't be friends, IF you still want to be with your gf. No Contact would be the best rule.

 

Contrary to what you believe about yourself, you DO have willpower to not fool around on your gf, its that you dont want to exercize that willpower. Just think about it a bit, can you imagine your gf telling you she fooled around with some guys just because she has 'hormones'? Wouldnt fly, would it?

 

This doesn't mean you have to tell your GF, but obviously you need to have a good look at yourself and find out why your willing to jepordize your relationship with her because of 'hormones'.

 

Good luck.