lanaa Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 its been 11 days and no he didnt Link to comment
Tigerfan Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 My ex's bday is next month. We broke up 2 1/2 weeks ago. I will probably text a 'happy birthday' to her, but our break up was fairly amicable and I don't know if I want her back. I do miss her, but I know we aren't right for each other. Of course, by then, I may change my mind and not acknowledge her birthday. Link to comment
lanaa Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 I would have no doubts if we ended in a good way,,i would wish him a happy Bday...but my situation is complicated thats why i dont know what to do ,plus i still want him back Link to comment
Tigerfan Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I would have no doubts if we ended in a good way,,i would wish him a happy Bday...but my situation is complicated thats why i dont know what to do ,plus i still want him back If he treated you poorly and was a jerk, I'd not do it. Doing it would tell him he can treat you however he wants without consequences (ie you're still t here for him). Link to comment
Danny77 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 STOP REPLYING! He's fishing! Link to comment
1guygirl Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 If you want to try to get him back then you're on a different path altogether. You need to rediscover yourself first then see if you really want him back or if you're just hurt by the breakup and want the pain to end. Theres a huge difference in wanting him back and wanting to feel better. If he expects an action from you then do not act. It's that simple. I wouldn't say anything on his bday as it will probably be read as "she misses me" no matter what you write. If you have to force or trick someone back then it will never work. They should want to come back on their own. quoted fo truth Link to comment
1guygirl Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 he just asked "how are you?" i replied "im ok thanks"(no questions) and nothing more translation: if you werent thinking bout me im gunna make you think about me, and open the lines of communication to see if you wish me happy birthday tmoz ....ugh Link to comment
Softcentered Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Focus on yourself. there are some brilliant answers on here.. i made this mistake a bit ago, it wasnt helpfull for me and i felt crap after sending it... i was just hoping for her to give some sort of positive response... as thats what ive been used to for the past couple of years and i missed it... to move on, that had to stop.. and i now im learning how to create that positive aspect more for myself.. through nc and self improvement Link to comment
Danny77 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 translation: if you werent thinking bout me im gunna make you think about me, and open the lines of communication to see if you wish me happy birthday tmoz ....ugh S---nap!!!! That's exactly what he was saying.... "think about me!!!! * miss me!!!! * I feel great when I know you're sad!!!!" Lanaa, you shouldn't have replied but at least you kept it damage limitated with a simple im okay. Link to comment
lanaa Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 Its his b-day today lol....im looking at his fb profile,even one of his ex girlfriends wished him a happy b-day on his wall ...but not me! lol Link to comment
Guest Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 I have to disagree with almost everyone here. It depends on how your break up went. In my case I would wish the person happy birthday. Here is why: First I spent a long time with him (3 years) so I feel that it is just polite to do this but nothing more. Don't expect anything from it. If you wish him happy birthday just do it because you really wish him a happy birthday not because it's some ploy to get back together or to see if he still cares. Do it with no strings attached. Second I find that NC here is often used as some sort of a revenge tool to get back at someone that broke up with you and a lot of people here come off as quite bitter. Not everyone who breaks up with you is an a-hole. In my case my ex clearly stated that he still wanted me in his life but as a friend. He just no longer felt like he was in love with me. If I use NC in this way on him (instead of just a self improvement tool) and never contact him again it seems to me that I would be saying "well if you don't want me this way then you can't have me at all". I personally told him that I wanted to stay friends but I couldn't be around him for a long time because it's just too hard right now to be with someone who wants friendship and you want more. So no not everyone who breaks up with you wants you gone forever from their lives. I know some people play games with this sort of thing so you just have to be smart and not fall into that trap. If you've been with someone for a long time chances are you know what kind of a person they are. Besides this is a forum for people that want to reconnect with their ex partners. The fact is that NC is a good tool to start off with to take care of yourself, to get your mind off of the pain of the break up, and to reevaluate the reasons you want to get back together. However at one point after NC if you do still want to get back together with them you are going to have to contact them eventually. I think especially contact is warranted if for example there is a death in the family or if a something huge happened to them. If you feel that that person is really angry at you and doesn't want you in their lives anymore (I dunno maybe you killed their parents by accident) then yeah don't contact them for their birthday! But in any case... even if you don't I think it's quite understandable that you're still upset. On one hand you risk looking needy and so show that you care, on the other hand you risk looking angry and resentful and so also show that you care. You can't win so might as well do something that's polite. Link to comment
lanaa Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 well we ended it in a bad way,we are really not "friends" Link to comment
happymeboy Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 if a girl wishes me HB after breaking up badly i know for a fact she wants something from me...mmmhhh...ME !!!! Dont do it, ignore his borthday and existence. Let him contact u if any contact has to happen.Why wish him HB when its all over ? It doesnt make any sense. Im sure he expects that,so give him NOTHING !!! Link to comment
Guest Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 well we ended it in a bad way,we are really not "friends" Right well if that is the case then there is no need to do that. Leave it be. Link to comment
lanaa Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Well I didnt do it! but my sister posted "happy birthday" on his wall,,,like all other friends on fb,,and he replied to her on the phone,and started asking about her life school,boyfriend and so on lol.Im sure he didnt do that with all the friends that congratulated on fb.He didnt mention me at all.You think its on purpose? he knows obviously my sister is going to tell me everything Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 I don't think your sister should have contacted him. I don't think you should read into his phone call because you don't have an objective perspective on this and it will lead you down a path of overanalysis. I've been there and it's not worth it. Link to comment
lanaa Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 well he wished my sister a happy birth day and they are still friends on fb,so it was a simple happy b day on fb...like 50,60 other friends wrote...nothing personal Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 well he wished my sister a happy birth day and they are still friends on fb,so it was a simple happy b day on fb...like 50,60 other friends wrote...nothing personal Yes I know but since you are trying hard to maintain NC it was too risky for her to do that - now you are analyzing why he asked her questions about her own life and wondering if it has anything to do with you. That doesn't let you move forward. Link to comment
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