lyndsaylynn Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Stupid me! I broke No Contact by email and by phone! Last week I read a post in the Grief and Bereavement section talking about someone who lost their young boyfriend and soulmate who had tragically died in his sleep. Then that night I had a dream about my deceased dog. I woke up terrified at 2:00 in the morning, couldn't sleep, and felt this overwhelming need to send an email (couldn't call due to the hour of the morning) to let my ex know that I still cared. I told him life was too short not to let the people we love know that. He never responded to the email. Yesterday, I started feeling this desperate sort of feeling that if I didn't at least try to call him, he would never know how much I care. So I called. And he didn't answer. I left a voice mail, but he never called me back. My son told me not to be so hard on myself, because my ex could never say I didn't try. I just wish I could understand how, after being a part of someone's life for 24 years and being a couple for 16 years, he could just become so cold and turn his back on me. It is heartbreaking. I have actually lost almost 30 pounds in just over a month due to the anxiety of this. Link to comment
flash9376 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 How long ago did you 2 break up? What was is over? (sorry if I sound nosy but trying to see the big picture) Link to comment
lyndsaylynn Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Flash, Thank you for your reply. He broke up with me one month ago, saying he was not love with me and had never been in love with me. Link to comment
flash9376 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Ok from expierience, I can tell you that the "never been in love" quote is garbage...I can almost guarantee that was said out of spite or hatred. You don't spend almost a quarter of a century with someone and "never been in love". You and I are in a similar situation really. My gf broke up with me about 2 weeks ago (although we were only together 4 months, not 16 years). For the first week, I called occasionally, sent a random text, email blah blah blah...got nowhere..I know its hard to understand but the only thing you can do is "you". Focus on yourself and your child. Do things that make you happy. As far as why he feels that way, what caused the break up? Link to comment
lyndsaylynn Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Flash, I am sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. It is the most excruciating pain there is, isn't it? Was your relationship a long distance one? Do you work with her or have to see her? My ex only said he was not, and never has, been in love with me. He also said that I was "the best thing that ever happened to him." He said he couldn't deal with the guilt of knowing that he didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about him. He said he hoped to find love with someone else someday. Link to comment
doyathink Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 When you contact an ex, never! expect a reply. Do it for yourself. You said what you had to say...for you. Secondly....he's still hurting to. It's hard for some ppl to respond when they're in pain....they're in NC. He may give it a few days, and reply, but he may not either.....just keep moving forward as well as you can. Im at 6 months post BU and it still feels like day one. Some day it will get easier. Link to comment
lyndsaylynn Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Oh, and wanted to add, my son is 27 and has been the best friend and support system I could have ever asked for in this situation. He refers to my ex as the "Man Child" which makes me laugh! Link to comment
lyndsaylynn Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 I did receive an email response from him. He explained that he was giving me time to process this. He also said he will always love me as a friend. I don't know if I feel better or worse Link to comment
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