i feel like im manipulating people

[quazit]

hey umm i know if youv read my other posts i must just seem like pure evil by now but i never realized until now how much i think i manipulate people i can convince people to do waht i want almost always ... i try and do this as little as i possibly can considering the ramifications but well i just have a personality that makes it very easy to do that. i fixed things with my girlfriend but i had to end it when i realized the only way i was able to do this was by manipulating her. i cant be with someone if iv done that to them because i might slip and do it again and it makes me feel like it wasnt really her decision. does anyone else feel like this or any comments on it?

[Supra1188]

explain a little more on how u di this

[Naaz]

0X

[Mike_Wazowski]

manipulation is just another form of having power over someone else...i'm just curious.....how do you feel if...

 

A: You manipulate someone into doing something (sucess)

 

and

B: You try to manipulate someone into doing something but it doesn't work(failure)

[Deacon Tagnarr]

An interesting gift indeed. I would be careful how I used a talent like this. Maybe you can put it to constructive use: start a project, get a creative team together because if you can manipulate people who knows, you might be able to motivate them to achieve. I'd be interested to hear how you work in a group situation. Maybe you're destined to be a leader.

[mscolly]

This is a subject that interests me very much. I (or rather my wife) was a victim of a manipulator.

 

When you say manipulator, do you simply mean a liar with a straight face, or are we talking about being able to see people's emotional buttons and knowing exactly how and when to press them for your own ends. Using their guilt against them, their fears, their worries to get them to do as you want. Using a subtle form of blackmail at times.

 

It's something we all do, we learn early on to manipulate our parents that way. But there are people out there that use manipulation in all cases, it seems a natural talent and they use it ruthlessly, sowing pain and hurt all around them. Lying is a tool they use, but it doesn't stop there.

 

Being a liar with a straight face is simple dishonesty. Being a manipulator could be something a lot worse, in that it is an end result of a thought process that has repercusions on you personally too. It's all about control, control over your painful surroundings, over yourself and, as an end result, over others. Control at all costs because in reality you feel helpless about something painful in your life.

[nenez]

Hi.

As a psychologist it is remarkablt easy to manipulate people. Its really a matter ofassessing what it is they need, supplying it and then gently moving them into position. This can be a really useful therapeutic tool if used wiselyand can really help a subject to deal with different problems. |owever this should not be udsed for personal ends because as you have said , you will never feel the same about what is achieved when you have manipulated someone.

I suggest you take a a good look at yurself and evaluate why you do this. It will cause pain and hurt and in the end will bring you no sayisfaction. Finally it will end in you feeling you have no self worth. Like the millionaire who suddenly has friends, its important to know that you are loved for yourself.

Emotional manipulation is also very dangerous since the person maipulated will come to see this and will withdraw very rapidly on realisation.

If you would like to discuss this futher just message me

With love

nenez xx

[i_hate_the_world47]

Well it seems like you want control-of everything.Manipulation is a very powerful thing but should not be used alot.I think you should just try to leanr and be the follower at times.You dont always have to be in control of things.Good luck.

 

~Meagan~

[quazit]

im not in control of all things and iv been in group situations and it did go good but the way i seem to do it is not by lying because although i can lie i dont as much as i possibly can the way i do it it seems like is i just feel hell i canrctically taste their emotions and i know exactly what they want to see back i dont use thier fears or insecurities or blackmail if i feel like im going to do that i wont have the emotion that they want. the thing is i actually feel this emotion whn i gave it to them its not just like calculated things to do or to say i just feel it back and well it tends to get the end result i want. while thats how i do it with some people with other people who are analysts i can just weave my words around emotions and well end up with a silver tongue i give them facts not fiction i talk it out wit them and generally show them a new prespective and i tend to have passion for what im speaking aobut in both my voice and eyes almost o mater what it is exactly i talk about

[quazit]

and to answer a question from someone earlyer how do i feel when i get what im trying to well i feel genuinly good. and when i dont get it well its eaither because i would have hurt them badly or played on fears or i just felt i seriously didnt deserve it. its why i didnt want to talk it out with my gf in person because i just instantly wanted her back. she looks like a goddess to me and well not only that we just cant seem to help standing really slose and well i wanted to not manipulate her but then instead of saying we needed to be friends i ended up kissing her neck... so yea ummm i cant really remember a case of when my manipulations failed except for two girls for whom i was putty in thier hands literally would have done almost naything they said as soon as i could. they werent manipulators but something about them made me drop and not think about every defence i have

[quazit]

this manipulator thing isnt really a curse in some ways im planning at the moment to become a lawyer so i dunno could be usefull then but sometimes im afria div ended up manipulating everyone andit jsut might be part of my personality

[OuchIAteMyself]

Wow, I feel exactly like this. Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it, and then afterwards I feel guilty, but I also lose a lot of respect for the person. In fact, I would say that the only people I truly respect are those that I can't manipulate.

[revdeluka]

dont fret about your talent, be happy. and use it constructively, you have an excellent communication talent, a talent a lot of people lack. enjoy.