Is this right for me?

[PhObiA]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forums. I've hung around for a while and I like the good advice given by everyone... Ok, here's my problem: I'm a tenth grader (will start 10th grade in a couple of weeks...). I've never been in a real relationship (the only other girl I've been "involved" with was more like a brother/sister relationship...) I met this gorgeous girl in 9th grade... I've never seen any other girl as beautiful as her... Ok, I moved to a place 3 hours away, and decided to ask her email. We've spoken a couple of times and everything seemed to be going great. Until when she stated that I should forget her because she thinks I'll never see her. I've never met anyone who is as nice (I think...) and beautiful as her... Well, the question is: Should I start an LDR with her? I mean, I'd try to see her at least 2-3 times a month (except when there's holidays, when I'd go see her immediately...). Besides, it'd just be for a year... but you see, that's the good side... the bad side is that I don't want her to feel lonely... I don't think she would cheat on me, but if she did, I think I would understand (I wouldn't cheat on her, but it's because I'm used to being lonely, but I don't think she is...). So, does anyone think it's worth it? I'd like to promise her I will see her at least 2-3 times each month, but if there are any significant setbacks, then I think I can't promise such a thing... I've fallen for her, and no other girl I've met has made me feel like her... So, do you think it's worth it? If so, could you give me any tips on keeping the LDR alive for 1 year? If she really thinks I would never see her, she's very very wrong... Just, what are my options?

[PhObiA]

I don't think she would cheat on me, but if she did, I think I would understand (I wouldn't cheat on her, but it's because I'm used to being lonely, but I don't think she is...).

 

By the way, that just meant that I would understand, not that I wouldn't get insanely angry if she did cheat on me (it's the last thing I'd want to happen to me...). So, do you think I should somehow find out if she would? Just what should I do? I've never been in real relationship, and LDRs are no exception... So, advice would be very greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Stinkweed]

That's a pretty tough situation... Ok, you say you don't want her to feel lonely, so you need to ask her first... I think You say you wouldn't want her to cheat on you, so, if you're the extremely jealous type (I think I may be... I wouldn't know, lol), then an LDR is definitively not for you. I wish you good luck, and hope someone else posts some good advice. Best wishes.

[myplague234]

i had the same situation...beautiful girl we liked each other..i never moved though...my only problem was i was too late to ask her and she got a bf and hasnt broken up with him...its been 8 months i still liek her and havent told her. the only suggestion i can give u is to make a move as fast as possible before she starts to see other ppl.

[Deann]

Something kinda like this happened to me when I was 15. My bf at the time and I had been together for a while though. At that current time we believed we were so in love and made for eachother. He ended up having to move with his family and we made the decision to try to stay together. After a few months things got too hard and the realization that we were so young set in. He was 17. He came to visit a couple times but it was just too hard to maintain a relationship. I'm just trying to say that even if you feel you have fallen for her you need to realize that you are only 15.

 

I'm not saying that 15 yr. olds don't have genuine feelings and can't be in love because I totally thought I was in love for the rest of my life with him but knowing what I do now would have made it a lot easier for me then. There is so much more for you to experience in life and high school is a great time to experience things.

 

 

Another thing, how are you planning to get there 2-3 times a month? Your parents are just gonna let you take off on a three hour trip by yourself?

[PhObiA]

There is so much more for you to experience in life and high school is a great time to experience things.

 

I detest high school...

 

 

Another thing, how are you planning to get there 2-3 times a month? Your parents are just gonna let you take off on a three hour trip by yourself?

 

I'm just sure my parents would understand. My brother was in a similar situation but he didn't even have a car, and my parents helped him big time back then...

 

Ok, but what should I do, then? I once told her that maybe there was no need for me to visit her because we were just friends, but she kept saying that I would never see her... I know that's not true. If she did want me to see her, then I would. What is more of my concern is, well you, I'm kind of jealous like an above poster said... What should I do, then? Should I try to develop this friendship with her until the year's over? And then what? How do I keep this friendship alive?

[absolutelyzero]

i think that you should try to develope the friendship more throughout this year. talk to her a lot. call her, IM her, email her, write her letters etc. she'll realize that youre really serious. if youre the jealous type, i woukdnt recommend getting into a relationship now. it wouldnt be fufilling because you would never see each other. 3 hrs is more than it seems. if youre going to move back in a year, id say wait.

good luck!

[PhObiA]

I'm not that jealous really... but the fact that she might feel lonely makes me sad, because I'm used to being lonely, and I can bet all my money that she isn't... I consider myself a mature guy, and I'd be really serious about this kind of things... I think I'll go with the friendship thing, then. I just would like to have some base for next year, then... You know, so she has an idea about who I am, and that I'm not that bad... Does that make sense? Well, please give me more tips...