Mustang Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 We've had some very bad family news this weekend. The news is very sad (I won't go into it) but it's made me miss and crave my ex even more than normal.I told my ex about the news and she was reasonably nice about it ("Sending you a big hug") but it's just not enough. I want her by my side. She is/was my best friend and I really need her at the moment. It kills me that she's talking to me like a stranger already. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Reach out to your friends and lean on them. I'm sorry for your bad news. Try not to make it worse by contacting your ex. Link to comment
2much2early Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I'm so sorry you're going through this. Tough times are when you need the support the most so it makes sense that you miss her now more than ever. But unfortunately she can't provide that need for you right now. You're going to have to get the support from someone else. Hopefully you have someone you can trust that you can reach out to like the above poster said. Talk to that person and let them know that this is extra hard because you usually had your ex. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Last night, my ex sent me this: "I really wish that I could make it all better for you. x" Obviously this situation has no relation to us breaking up but this suggests to me that she still cares about me at least right? How do I respond? Link to comment
TSandullo Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 This time last year, my father was hospitalised due to a stroke. Though it was about half a year since the breakup, i too wanted my ex's support. But the great thing is that i told myself that i am strong, i can handle it alone as i have handled alone in the past. My ex doesnt know what happened and i prefer it that way. I am sure that in this difficult time, you too can be strong and deal with the situation as well, ex excluded. TS Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Another text... "I'm proud of how strong you're being, I really am. And my shoulder is here for you. x" I miss her so much. Link to comment
lostwithouther Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Call her and be human. Don't text. Where is the humanity? B Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Calling is too full on and puts her under pressure. At least with a text, she can reply if/when she wants to. I thanked her for being supportive and told her I appreciate it. I also (foolishly) said that I'm missing her.By no means am I using my mum's illness as a reason to pull my ex back in but the situation with my mum has made me realise what a waste our break up is. I just wish I was back home with her now. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 I know that a hug from my ex won't change anything with my mum but last night I couldn't sleep as all I could think about was my ex being by my side. She tells me that she's "here" for me but she's really not. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 I know that a hug from my ex won't change anything with my mum but last night I couldn't sleep as all I could think about was my ex being by my side. She tells me that she's "here" for me but she's really not. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Im sorry for whatever you are going through Mustang.....the boards can be very helpful at this time. When my father passed away from pancreatic cancer a few months ago, my ex who knew my father very well sent a text. Yup, that's all a text. My ex had lived in my father's house, went to his cottage every weekend, was his first client for my ex's reno business, etc. Anyway, my ex decided to do very little when my Dad actually died, no card, flowers, visits, etc. So Im actually glad in a way because his true colours came out and I saw him for what he truly is. You are the one suffering, and no matter what, your ex should come to you. Texting when someone is ill is lame IMO. You cannot imagine how many people-- like my sister's ex's, who wrote lovely cards upon hearing of my father's passing-- this was months later. I know how much easier it would be, to not be hit with a double whammy -- BU, then illness, but that's not how life works sometimes. My sister's current BF flew all the way from London, England-- to Toronto, was at the hospital when he died, had to buy a suit for the funeral, helped my Mom with everything from wills, to business paperwork. He is a barrister, so was on his own time while he was here for 10 days. Now THAT, is a kind individual!!! One thing you will find out is who your friends are during this difficult time. My ex doing a "no show" was on one hand an utter disgrace, on the other, it showed his true colours, and is why I will never have anything to do with him again. Take care of your family and yourself during this difficult time. People on ENA were amazing for me. Mustang, I wish you the best ! Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Thank you. Part of me refuses to believe that my ex is really being horrible but other than send me a few cliched texts, she's done nothing else to back up her "I'm here for you" statement. I really wish I could see her and talk things through but she's ignored me despite how much I need her at the moment.Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. She threw me out on the street so she could " * * * * other guys" and has shown no remorse for the last month of our relationship. I can't believe how quickly she's changed. I'm not saying our relationship was perfect but we broke up for stupid reasons. I just wish she'd realise how hurt she's made me. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 I asked her this afternoon if I could see her at some point this week. She offered me her shoulder after all and it would be nice to talk through everything I'm feeling about my mum (who used to text my ex all the time and bonded with her a lot). My ex has ignored me and I know she won't reply. * She's happy to feed me bull * * * * cliches but actually following them up, that's another thing. You'd think after being violent and insulting and throwing me out on the street that she'd want to redeem herself in some way. But no. It must be nice to not have a conscience. * She says she loves me ("forever in my heart") but clearly that's utter crap. Had she not said the words I'd feel better. Link to comment
summerishere Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Why you guys broke up? If the reason of breakup no longer makes sense, call her; otherwise, as TS said, be strong and ex excluded. Link to comment
Mustang Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 She broke up with me because she convinced herself that her paranoia was true. I'm not saying I was perfect but I never did any of the things she thought I was doing. In the end, she decided that she'd have enough of me and reacted against who she thought I was. Ironically, she's done things ten times worse than the things she was accusing me of. Still no reply to my request to see her. Says it all really. Clearly she's found someone else. Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Do you really want someone who takes off when you are having a family crisis? Link to comment
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