Stay_home Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 First of all, let me say that as a fwb I realize there's no commitment. My neighbor and I have had sex a few times over the last week and a half. The last time was on Monday night. Well, last night he had a woman over. It just feels strange. Guess this is why you shouldn't play with neighbors! Anyway, I'm not really sure what to think so some insight would be helpful. These are the rigors of no strings attached sex. What I notice is that a lot of people who sign the contract to a FWB situation don't actually realize what they're signing themselves into. Which is to have sex, unattached, no feelings, no committment, no boundaries, no rules basically - purely for sex, nothing else. Then they realize - it's not all that easy to do. Not as cut & dry as it seems. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Not really. We talked a couple times and he helped me carry groceries in. Things like that. My friends asked him if he would take us out to bars soon. He wants to do it. I like hanging out with him... But to be honest I do like sex with him, too. Do you like sex more than you dislike seeing him dating other women? Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 OK, I am feeling a bit attached. I am not planning to have sex with him anymore without any commitment. However, if he puts out the invitation, it will be difficult not to take it. We haven't had sex in over a week now and there have been no booty calls. He came over Fri. night to have a couple shots with my friends and I. We have texted ever so often. Thing is, I'm wondering if he even ever only wanted sex. I assumed he did, but we never discussed it. He had a woman over, but maybe he felt like I wasn't interested in more because I talked to him about men I was dating. Maybe I should just try to let it go and just try to be friends... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 OK, I am feeling a bit attached. I am not planning to have sex with him anymore without any commitment. However, if he puts out the invitation, it will be difficult not to take it. We haven't had sex in over a week now and there have been no booty calls. He came over Fri. night to have a couple shots with my friends and I. We have texted ever so often. Thing is, I'm wondering if he even ever only wanted sex. I assumed he did, but we never discussed it. He had a woman over, but maybe he felt like I wasn't interested in more because I talked to him about men I was dating. Maybe I should just try to let it go and just try to be friends... Have you ever resisted temptation in any area of your life because it wasn't in your best interests to indulge? It was hard, right, but you did it and you were glad you resisted temptation. Same thing here. Now that you are honest with yourself about how you feel and what you want, it is up to you to take on the challenge of declining an invitation to have casual sex. I think if he wanted to date you he would have asked you out on a proper date and if he saw potential for the long term he would have discussed that with you too because he wouldn't have wanted to get attached to you by having sex with you without knowing where you stood. I'd take it at face value -he wanted to have sex with you and he also enjoyed chatting/hanging out with you. He might still enjoy those things but you are not going to enjoy sex with him now that you know you want more from him. Certainly you can share that with him and see how he responds if you think it's worth it. Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 He sent me some flirty/sexy messages last night. I flirted back a bit, then changed the subject. He didn't continue to text after that. Patting myself on the back. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 He sent me some flirty/sexy messages last night. I flirted back a bit, then changed the subject. He didn't continue to text after that. Patting myself on the back. Is your arrangement or potential arrangement with him worth this time and strategizing? He might have backed off because you stopped flirting or he might have gone to sleep or started sexting with someone else. Link to comment
somegirl30 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 If he did then that's fine. I'm just glad I was able to resist and not invite him over. Link to comment
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