I judge myself negatively based on how this relationship ended.

[Catchy06]

Story - 4 years together, i'm 23 she's 22. We move to a new state together after graduating college to begin a new life together. 2 weeks in she meets new people... on a sunday goes out drinking... gets so drunk she loses her phone, her wallet, and doesnt know where she is. (didnt invite me to go out with her and her new friends)... 1 week after she goes out... on a sunday... doesnt come home... doesnt call or let me know where she is.

 

The next morning she didn't come home... went straight to work. I set my relationship status on facebook to single (I was enraged). I KNEW I was not going to settle for that... I told her that I want to part ways. It had been 3 weeks... she hasn't introduced me to any of her new friends that she goes out drinking with... were in a new city... and I feel like I'm on the backburner. I break it off... start to have regrets of doing it and tell her maybe we should talk about it and work it out.

 

She says she doesn't want to work on it anymore and wants to live the single life and have fun... pursue her dreams (which aren't really being pursued.)

 

1 week later I say I'm moving out after picking her up from work and sleeping in separate rooms and taking showers together (no sex though)... so confused I HAD to move out because she wasnt coming home until 2 am even though work got out at 10 pm. I tell her we need to talk... she says shes at work - but really I find out she was at the bar.

 

Finally I move out... I start doing little nice things for her after I get a new place... but I'm trying to avoid making contact. I text her instead of calling because her voice set me back. She puts up a poem on facebook- wrote and writ- which is about someone who says everything through letters and text instead of in person. I believe it has really shown me how immature I have become due to technology.

 

I delete my Facebook. I find out from friends she's seeing someone else. Instead of calling her to tell her to stop asking me to spend time with her- I text (worst thing I can do). I just say "Please stop contacting me, it sets me back while I'm trying to move on"

 

That was 6 days ago since we last spoke. I dream about her every night. The original break up was in May. Now 2 months later I'm still fighting to get over her and every time I see something amazing in the new city I want to call her and I wish I could take her to these places because I know she'd love them.

 

This has been a huge learning experience... I need to be a man and actually speak my mind instead of texting and emails. I was really immature and I can see why she would leave me but she has moved on SO fast... lightning speed. It hurts so bad. Its impossible for me to meet new people because everyone I work with is 10+ years older than me and I work 70 hours a week and have no one to go out with or be active with. It's painful.

 

I feel so lost... I'm an attractive guy... I have NEVER had problems getting girls before... but being alone in the city is extremely difficult.

 

How do I heal and meet new people? Everyone says join a club... but working the amount of hours I work... joining a club is virtually impossible. I want to quit... I'm only 23... I shouldn't be tied down to a 70 hour a week job with no friends or family to at least look forward to seeing after.

 

Suggestions and comments are reallllllly helpful! I learned a lot from this breakup. Have I handled it okay? I know removing it on facebook before talking to her was childish. That's why I deleted it... the website is so dramatic.

[Angel Irulan]

You say you need to be a man and speak your mind. I'm a woman and I say you're wrong on that score. Once she said she wanted her freedom she should have had it in spades! No contact, no Facebook, no texts or emails. Just you and healing yourself. This is the YOU time experience! Did you realize you spent all your college days with her and never got to do the single college dating scene? It's time to do it now! It's not too late. Just remember that when you go out to drink, never drive drunk and keep it at two beers max. Stay safe, be happy. If you can, you can spend one hour a day thinking and grieving about her, but the rest of the day, it's you and your life.

 

Hugs.

Angel

[sadchick83]

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you, but even though you are in a bad place at the moment, dont let this girl steal your happiness. Maybe you will find the girl of your dreams in this city? Seize the day. Also....sorry to say, but very few 22 year old girls want to settle.

 

Yes, FB is full drama. Most people are lying about their happiness.

[Catchy06]

My first year of college, age 18. I partied so hard... slept with an immense amount of women that none of you would believe it... and finally decided I wanted to settle down when she came into my life and got my head straight... we've helped get each other to where we are today. I know it's rare to find a 22 year old who wants to settle. I just loved her a ton and I wish we had met later in life because she's everything I'm looking for. She's active, she hikes, she likes craft beer, she thinks its cute when I play video games, she's brilliant, she likes live music and camping with me, the sexual compatibility was amazing, she pushes me to read books and work out which are things that I now love doing... she introduced me to new lifestyles and things I probably wouldn't have found if it wasn't for her.

 

I'm thankful for her... it sucks she left me like this... she used to talk about engagement rings all the time and told me her ring size and hinted all the time. Now she wants to be free... blah....