Just Gotta Have Faith

[bgbillo]

Hello everyone,

- I am here to tell you that things aren't so bleak. I am not back together with my ex yet, but I have faith we'll get a second chance. Notice I didn't say hope. Hope is dangerous, hope means you want it to happen, but don't know if it will, while faith means you know it will happen. Just remember, for those who believe in God, when your faith in God is strong, you can see God everywhere in beauty. When your faith weakens, you lose sight of these things. I know that many have lost their loves for numerous reasons, but to truly get them back, you have to follow two simple rules. One is have faith that it will work out, If you REALLY BELIEVE in it, it will happen, and you cannot waiver. Also, if you just let things take their course, and don't interfere with the "Divine interactions" for a better choice of words, then things will come to you.

 

This does not mean you can sit around, pray for it and they will come back for it. Be grateful for what you have in your life now, even if things look bleak. Thank God or whatever you want for the good things in your life, if you do, your whole outlook will change for the better. This also means you can only control you, and thus you can only change you. If you change yourself for the better, than better things will come your way. So live your life, and better yourself, no one is perfect, so we can all be better. Than, if you keep faith, things will fall into place, and as long as you don't pressure people or push them, in time, things will work out. Patience and Faith are the keys, and doubt is the enemy.

 

Finally, "Work like you will live forever, and live like tomorrow will be your last day!" These are great words of wisdom. Enjoy life, enjoy your job, enjoy school, you can, no matter what, just do it. It's that easy, if you just do it, it works. Logical eh? Never let your ego hide the beauty of your soul, and your life will be plentiful and happy.

 

Take care,

B

[LostAngel]

THANKS FOR YOUR INSIGHT!!!

 

I HAVE RUN OUT OF OPTIONS....BUT YOU GAVE ME A BIT OF HELP BY REMINDING ME WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE...

 

I HOPE I CAN KEEP BELIEVING THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER & THAT I WILL GET MY EX BACK...IT IS JUST SO HARD TO KEEP BELIEVING WHEN THINGS ARE BACK TO WHERE THAY STARTED, IF NOT WORSE...

 

I WILL TRY TO KEEP IN MIND WHAT YOU SAID...

 

Thanks

 

LostAngel

[dizzy_bruce]

Hahahaha.

 

Please don't tell me to have 'more brains' when you make simple spelling mistakes like 'believe' and 'hecktic'. You're 22, I'm sure you know how to use a dictionary by now? If not, ask me and I can give you a few tips.

 

The milk in the fridge was an analogy, of course I know that's not what he meant by Divine Interactions. My point was that it's impossible to draw the line between coincidence and God shaking things up.

 

I do believe in God, but only because there's a logical reason to. I don't, however, believe that there is one big plan or that things are 'supposed' to happen. If you truly believe in fate, you believe that you have no control over your life as everything has already been decided by God. Do you believe that you have no free will? I for one don't!

 

Your beliefs are not beyond my grasp, I used to believe the same thing when I was young and gullible. After looking at and thinking about the Church's Dogma, I decided that I didn't agree with alot of it.

 

xBrucex

 

p.s. I'm sorry I used naughty words in my last post, let's hug and kiss and be best friends.

[rich46]

I don't, however, believe that there is one big plan or that things are 'supposed' to happen.

Great. You have a different view to that of the original poster. There's no need to force it on everyone else. bgbillo was just trying to be kind and encouraging, and reading his post helped me. Yours, on the other hand, didn't.

[mookey]

Yeesh, someone is a wee bit bitter. Ah well, optimistic people lead happier lives anyway

 

On the subject of fate, this is something I've been struggling with, because I believe in both fate and free will. Plus, my ex keeps saying fate will bring us together if its meant to be, and I think this is partially an excuse for inaction. This is the conclusion I came up with:

 

Fate provides the opportunity to make choices. The choices you make based on what fate has provided are your free will.

 

An example of this is a couple I know that dated for a long time, then broke up because they just weren't getting along. They didn't talk at all after that. Two years later they happened to run into each other and started dating again. Today they are married. Understandably the guy says he is a big believer in fate. However, what if they had met up after two years said hi and continued on with their lives. Then it would have been a chance meeting, not fate. So, fate offered the chance for them to run into each other and free will decided the impact on their lives.

[ravens_folly]

Ohh I made a typo. Big deal. Like I sit around with a dictionary making sure I spell everything totally correct and make no spelling mistakes because someone might need to attack me on it. I don't have to point out other peoples typos either.

At least I don't have to bash other peoples ideas about life and be all rude and sarcastic about it.

 

And I never said I had no free will or didn't believe in it. I don't go to church, or do all that religion stuff. Doesn't mean I don't believe in God. Even the bible has many good values in it, doesn't mean I have to listen to it all.

 

The point here isn't the belief in god though, or in Divine Interactions, or Interventions or whatever its the attitude. Some people have pretty damn bad attitudes especially if they have to call someone who is just trying to give a helpful message to others, even if it is a little "extreme", stupidly optimistic. Or if they have to attack someone because they made a typo or spelling mistake or whatever.

 

The milk in the fridge was an analogy, of course I know that's not what he meant by Divine Interactions. My point was that it's impossible to draw the line between coincidence and God shaking things up

 

And that analogy, well it obviously didn't come accross the way you intended. And the line between coincidence and God shaking things up, isn't impossible to tell. Maybe all the coincidences are him shaking it up. Who knows.

Maybe all the choices in life have a predeterminded outcome. You know like those books where you read so far and you are given a choice, and whatever you choose you go to that page, and continue to read until you get another one of those choices. There are many choices and the outcomes are different but they are all there.

Imagine all the different endings to all our lives based on our free will. It would always change. It is always changing. So obviously there is no predetermined outcome, but how do we know??? We don't know. There is no way of knowing. We all have our own beliefs. So my point is... don't be so rude to bash someone else's beliefs. If they want to believe that, then they can. You don't have to call them stupid. If you want to voice your opinion fine, thats fine, we would like to hear it, but you don't have to be rude about it.

[ravens_folly]

Great post mookey!

[jmh1216]

This is ridiculous... as if making a spelling error has anything to do with how many 'brains' a person has! It's one of the most common fallacies -- proof by attempt to exhibit superiority -- and it's not working.

[RayKay]

This is ridiculous... as if making a spelling error has anything to do with how many 'brains' a person has! It's one of the most common fallacies -- proof by attempt to exhibit superiority -- and it's not working.

 

People like to grasp at straws though in an "argument" - even if it means criticizing one spelling error!

 

One spelling error (or two) does not signify stupidity. However, a series of them, poor grammar, "shortcutting words" does in my opinion give a certain impression of someone (not a positive one). I see people who do NOT call English their first language with far better punctuation, spelling and general presentation than someone who ONLY speaks English. Yet it is the former who is apologizing for their "poor" English skills! Taking time to clearly put down your thoughs to me is respectful, and denotes intelligence and maturity.

[mookey]

All I know is that when I first found this forum, I was glad I found it because the messages were full of hope, faith and optimism. At the same time advice was given that emphasized strength and pride. When I felt weak or depressed I logged on and inevitably read something that helped. The past couple weeks, however it seems I have been reading mostly messages of despair and desperation. So when I logged on this morning to find such a hopeful message, it made me feel good. I wish we had more of this, and I see no reason to attack someone for that message or for supporting that message.

 

I wish there were many, many more messages like that.

[dizzy_bruce]

Oh okay, I'm sorry. I'm probably too passionate about this stuff for my own good.

 

(And it wasn't just a typo, she made the same mistake more than once. Oh and she called me stupid first)

 

xBrucex

[bgbillo]

Hello Again everyone, I am glad to hear you are all getting good feelings out of this. Bruce, to answer your comment, no I do not believe in fate. I believe we consciously and subconsciously determine our lives. Thoughts are more powerful than we think, and they will become our reality. When we doubt, are thoughts or wants are weakened and thus we cannot bring them about. I did not write this as saying God does everything for us. I believe that the belief in God isn't necessary for this, because if it was, why are there so many atheists out there who seem to get what they want. It's more of a mentality. You can sit back and hope your ex comes back, and maybe they will, maybe they won't. You can't control them. You can only control and change you. Gratitude is the greatest healer of all. When we are grateful for what we have in our life, rather than what we don't have, than our mindset changes. Our minds can think freely and clearly.

 

Contrary to your statement, the entire post was the idea of free will in its greatest form. We can choose to either think positively or think negatively, but whatever WE CHOOSE, is what will become a reality. Notice for example if you go into a test thinking you are going to fail, you most likely will. If you go in confident and believe in yourself you will do fine. Now there is a difference between believing with your Ego and believing with your Super Ego. Egos are defensive and are the reason we let things get to us. Super egos are where are thoughts can come to a reality. It is how artists, scientist, and musicians bring out their great master pieces.

 

The meaning of this post was that you can't control your ex. You can't bug them into submission to come back to you. You can't plot ways to get them back and really get them back. You may entice them to return for a time, but they will no doubt leave, because in reality you have not changed. I know that some people are bad, but you can change yourself, you can be more independent. We do NOT NEED anyone else, we are complete in ourselves. We are whole. Love and Relationships make us happier perhaps, but we do not need them. You are never alone, because your soul (if you are spiritual) is always with you. The "Universal Mind" (how everything is connected) is always with you. Just realize its there and you live a happier life. Of course, bad things will happen, but if you play victim all your life, then hell, you are going to believe it. None of us are victims unless we make ourselves so, and that is the point. I am not saying go out and change who you are, but take the time to love yourself. If you really want them back then believe it in your super ego, ignore everything else that is negative, but live your life and set your own goals separate of them. In time this will show, as it radiates from you, and they will almost always come back. This means too though that you have brought yourself to a point that should it not work out, you will always be happy because you realize you only NEED YOU.

 

In the end, this way of thinking changed my life. My friends now come to me to help them cope, and I simply tell them. Worrying, Fearing, and Denying only make those things stay in your mind. What good do they do you? What good does it do to hurt others? If you just let them go or allow the world to deal with them (the super Ego) than your life will be happier. I may not have rekindled with my ex-girlfriend now, but I am much happier and everyone can see it. Due to an injury I haven't been able to work out and exercise as much, but I have made even greater strides than anyone could have imagined, and I have just started to tap into this power, imagine how I will be once I have complete mastery of it? It is each of our choices, but the great person and someone who can achieve great things is in us all, you just have to Believe first and then you will see. If you believe in God, look around you, and see how much more beautiful the world is when you are thinking about it. Look for the beauty and be grateful for it, rather than looking at the bad that we bring about.

 

If anyone needs, they can PM me with questions and thoughts, and I am always here to listen. Best wishes to you all, and remember you have the power, your free will is a gift, so don't waste it in the negative, but make things all positive

 

Sincerely,

Bilal

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Yeah dizzy is sort of a jerk about this, like he's been hanging out in some of the usenet forum.

 

Basically BG's post really hit home with dizzy. BG is indirectly attacking dizzy's core beliefs.

 

I do agree with diz on some of the things we said though. If we can all respect eachother enough to debate something then mabye we could get clearer on our own views. Because I too think that there are MANY things wrong with BGs notions.

 

But I think this forum is more about helping people heal. So in that vain let me say this:

 

BG you are right. You may very well get back with your ex. But MAYBE you're deep in denial. It's a very common defense mechanism. You talk about "free will" and you talk about KNOWING that you're ex will come back too. This seems scary to most. Plus it's a little odd. Free will is without constraints, if you ever KNOW that they will come back to you then how can their will be free. You've just made it so that they will come back to you, so that it is not possible that they could of done otherwise--that is definitely not free will.

 

The optimistic life is good. Just be careful. If you don't prepare for the worst you'll have no idea how to cope when things don't go your way.

[bgbillo]

the_tiger_striped_cat,

- I agree. The purpose of this view was not meant to say that I control in any way whether my ex will give me another chance. In reality we don't have complete control, no one does. We can create the opportunities, and this is what this is all about. Free Will is the fact that we can choose to make a decision. If we and our ex's are meant to be, things will work out, as long as we let them and let ourselves be guided by the our souls as opposed to our egos. I am not in denial about my ex. I love her, but should she not return, which is possible, I will not be upset. I am my own person and a complete person at that. I don't need anyone. That is the biggest lesson. We have others in our lives, but they do not complete us, for we are already complete. Do I believe in fate? to an extent, but we decide our lives and how things play out. If you think your girl is cheating on you, you will more than likely start to sabotage things and she'll cheat on you. If you always fear losing your boyfriend, chances are you'll subconconsciously find a way to sabotage it. All I am saying is many people try to get their ex's back by pushing them, manipulating, hoping. They ignore the reality that we can only truly change ourselves, and that we need to take the steps to better our selves, than give ourselves the chance to fix the problem. If you let things fall into place, i.e. don't force anything, you will give yourself a true chance for reconciliation. Other ways may work, but perhaps are only short term rather than truth.

 

I hope this clarifies things.

B

[RayKay]

I have to agree with bgbillo on this one - and further more, there is a difference between faith and hope. Faith is not about setting yourself up for disappointment, or just letting things happen as they may - and bgbillo very clearly explained this.

 

Please note I don't believe in one particular god/religion - but I DO believe we are all connected to one another and to the universe as well. We are mentally and spiritually connected, and more so with those we form close bonds with. We all have that psychic ability for example, when we know what someone is going to say exactly before they say it - but some of us are more in tune than others, or have greater abilities - these are a result of our connection. Faith IS powerful. When you have faith for your ex and you to reconcile, you also have faith that whatever is the greater good will come into your life - even if it is not with the ex. When you have faith, you are also having faith in your OWN inner power, your own healing so you are in a better place if your ex comes back or not. By having faith in yourself, you give yourself power.

 

I have said over and over again, that positive thinking and a positive attitude attract positive situations - negatives ones result in negative happenings.

[bgbillo]

I am very happy to hear everyone's points, even those critical of philosophy and beliefs. Discussion is a great tool when teaching because it does two major things. One it shows me where I may have confused or incorrectly stated my point. Secondly, it provides me further insight into my beliefs and can often help me as well. The main point this post originally was meant to get accross was that we are all complete beings. If we know that, we also know that we don't NEED anyone else. If you can come to terms with this your life will be much easier to handle in all aspects. Human and other relationships make ourlives great, but we don't NEED them, but they make life better. One problem that most relationships have is the problem of needing your lover. This is pressure and this leads you to lots of problems. It can lead to Codependency issues and even worse. By realizing you don't need the person, especially during a relationship you make the relationship stronger. We cannot change people, they change themselves, just like faith, you can't give someone faith, you can help them give themselves faith. They still give it to themselves.

 

By thinking positive, you help radiate a personality and aura that attracts people. Why is it people feel better around other happy people? Because happiness is contagious, its transferrable in a way. If you are negative or depressed you emit a negative aura, and so repel many, unless the others are also depressed. That is the down fall of many relationships, but this can be corrected. Laws of attraction as they are called are what run this universe. In all levels. You don't have to agree with this, and I am not promising you will get your ex back, because I know I may not get mine back, but our friendship seems to have a shot to be rekindled and that's how you have to start it. Remember, if your ex and you become friends again, you are starting over. The past relationship is in the past and can't be changed, but you can start a new relationship. You are not the same two people you were the last time you were together, you are both different and have grown. You learn from this and live a healthier relationship, but remember one thing. To be the best lover you can be, you need to learn and grow, and if its not with your current ex, perhaps a new person will be attracted into your life and this is where these new lessons can kick in. Remember the power of faith, not in God necessarily, but in yourself most of all. You determine if you are happy and no one else, so be happy if you want.

 

Best wishes,

B

[dizzy_bruce]

From what I understand, your point is that if you are optimistic good things will happen.

 

I agree with this. I don't agree with what you said before about if you completely believe in something it will happen. I've completely believed in stuff before and it hasn't worked.

 

Sorry if I was a jerk before, I was in a bad mood after having an argument with my gf. I'm not normally that horrible

 

Have you got any more tips on being more positive and optimisic? Most of the time I feel misanthropic and depressed; when people say 'oh just be happy, misery guts' it doesn't do much for me.

[bgbillo]

Bruce, You are right. If it came off as me saying that if you believe in it hard enough it will just come to you, than I incorrectly portrayed my message. The idea is that we are all complete, and don't need anyone else. It is great to have love, but unless you can love yourself, then you cannot love anyone else. As for keeping positive, this is tough I know. Bad stuff happens all the time, but often you can just change how you look at it, and it makes it better. The main thing is to get yourself back and have faith that you are in control of your life and your circumstances. If someone gets their house broken into, they can feel how their life is destroyed, and this is a bad thing that happened, but thankfully no one was in the house and everyone has their health. Things can always be worse, so try to just look on the bright side of things. You have to be deliberate about it. In time, you'll get better at it, just like everything else, until you have control. We get hurt, upset, emotional in negative ways because we respond with our egos. Egos are the part of our minds that absorbs information. If you try to react instinctively, you will no doubt often react in the wrong way. All I wanted was to try and give everyone a sense that live is what you make of it. Be appreciative of the good things you have, even when things seem completely bleak. That's how you get out of those situations, otherwise you just get stuck in them. I wish you the best of luck, and keep your chin up and your eyes open to how beautiful the world around you is.

 

P.S. I don't think you need organized religion to believe this, just belief, that's all, even if not in GOD, at least in yourself.