What if?

[bb13]

To update another topic I had, today will be the 5th day late of my GF's period. We're going to get a test today. I still think that it will be negative but the "what if?" is glaring in my mind more than ever. We have talked about it and have decided that we cannot have a kid or go through a pregnancy so that left us with abortion. Problem is, I dont know how that works. Here are my questions:

*What are the methods? Surgical? Medical (drug)? Other?

*What consent is needed? One parent? 1 parent each? 2 parents each? Adult? None? Other?

*When can it be done? I know not after the 2nd trimester. Right away?

*Where can it be done?

[Roffler]

Well, it depends on where you live it if is even legal to do so. Methods include a surgical operation which pretty much pulls the fetus out, but has to be done a few weeks into the pregnancy.

Consent for an operation is legal guardian, so unless she's 18, she'll need a parent's consent. Have fun with that one =\.

Where can it be done? Well, depending on where you live and the legalities, I can't answer that. You can get it done under the table somewhere I'm sure, but if you want a legal hospital, you will have to find a state/province/country that endorses them.

 

 

 

 

 

So inappropriate but I must add it.

What do a pregnant girlfriend and a slinky both need?

A good push down the stairs. (so, sorry for that).

[RayKay]

Consent will depend on the state/province you are in and your age, as well as the facility you are going to. Not sure how it works down there, but here there are both private facilities and it can also be done in hospital. Up here private facilities cost big money ($350-$500 CDN) but you don't need a referral. For the hospital, you need a referral from a clinic to an OB/GYN who performs the operation in a hospital. In Canada, the procedure when done in a hospital is covered by the province (so free to you).

 

At 16 here, you do not need parental permission, but that here is the cutoff age.

 

Here they will perform the procedure up to 17 weeks after conception. I know of people who missed it by a day, and they won't do it. But there is also a "minimum" they might set in order to ensure they can properly do the procedure.

 

Your girlfriend will need to go to a clinic/doctor and have them perform a test themselves. They may also do an ultrasound to check how far along she is, as well as do blood tests to check her RH factor (if negative, she needs to get a shot in order to prevent future miscarriages/complications).

 

The day before the procedure she will go into see the doctor and he will insert a small device/devices to "stretch" her cervical opening slightly. It can be a bit uncomfortable and cause some cramping. This helps the next day with the actual procedure. It is a surgery, and she won't be able to eat or drink for a few hours before. This next part is graphic: depending on how far along she is there are Dilation & Evacuations (D & C) or D & C (Curettage?). The latter is usually only for late term emergency abortions though (deceased fetus, medical necessity) so she will get the first - they dilate the cervix, and basically "suck" the fetus and any remnants out (make sure they get it all to prevent infection, a failure to end pregnancy, etc). She will be given an IV, painkillers, something to make her sleepy or groggy (pretty much high, but not really aware of what is going on) and the procedure will be done. They will then watch her for a while after to make sure she is okay - someone will have to pick her up and drive her home, and she will need to take it easy for the next day or so. There will be some bleeding.

 

Let me also say - counselling is important! Whether it be before, during, or after.

 

If you have any questions, please ask.

[sweetpea4670]

Go to link removed. They have very specific information on abortion that is relevant to where you live. You can find info on pricing, where, when, consent issues (vary by state), etc. If you ask questions like that on this site, there are going to be different answers because everything varies based on where you live. Good luck

[RayKay]

I also wanted to just add - I think you should start thinking that it MIGHT be rather than thinking it is going to be negative. If she is normally very regular, and is now 5 days late...well..chances are very good she is.

[lilsht05]

In most states you DO NOT need a parents consent, you can do it without them completely. It is really expensive. The easiest way is surgically and it has to be done between the 8th and 12th week. I do not recomend getting an abortion. I know personally that it leaves severe mental damage for both of you, you will never forgive yourselves. I hope for both of you that she is not pregnant.

[sweetpea4670]

While most states do not require consent, they DO require parental notification prior to the procedure. Be aware that your parents will be notified if you opt for an abortion. My parents had an abortion prior to having me, and they do not have any regrets and no mental damage. They knew that they made the decision that would be best for themselves as well as the fetus. There was never an issue of having to forgive themselves, because it was never a regret. If you feel that this is the best option for you, then go for it by all means (especially at your age), and be more careful to prevent future issues!

[RayKay]

In most states you DO NOT need a parents consent, you can do it without them completely. It is really expensive. The easiest way is surgically and it has to be done between the 8th and 12th week. I do not recomend getting an abortion. I know personally that it leaves severe mental damage for both of you, you will never forgive yourselves. I hope for both of you that she is not pregnant.

 

It will only leave severe mental damage and you will not forgive yourself if you did not make the right choice for YOU in the first place.

 

Not everyone is like that, not everyone lives with regrets or dwells on it forever. Maybe they might think what if they had kept it, but I don't know many people who had it done who do dwell on it. It was the best decision for THEM and they went into it prepared and knowing so.

[lilsht05]

I think that you are wrong, your parents may be over it now, but I can promise you that they weren't then. I had an abortion last year and it has haunted me ever since. And I did it completely behind my parents backs. They were not notified.

 

If you are worried about the parents issue, call the doctor that does it and ask them if they do it without parental consent/notification. I had to call a few places to find one that didn't need it. In most states it is illegal to deny an abortion to a minor because of parental consent. when you get pregnant, according to the country, you are declaired your own person. basically you are over 18 the second it is confirmed that you or your girlfriend is pregnant, thereforeeee you are alowed to make your own decicions and if abortion is what you want then do it.

[someone51189]

My sister got pregnant when she was 14.. and we thought it was the end for her.. she ended up putting her 11th n 12th year of highschool together n graduating with honors, right now shes in college n just no recently got married.. shes 18 n doing awesome she has her own house and everything.. so sometimes if something bad really does happen then u can just look for the best...

[hurtabandoned]

Many states in the US DO require either parental consent or at the very least parental notification a list of 32 states that have laws in place are here(midway down the page):

 

link removed

 

If she is pregnant and you live where this can't be done or you just don't have the money to do so - then you need to tell your/her parents. A pregnancy can't be hidden for long. And it's not healthy for your girlfriend to not be seeing a doctor.

 

Don't forget though, getting an abortion is totally her choice.

[lilsht05]

Many states in the US DO require either parental consent or at the very least parental notification a list of 32 states that have laws in place are here(midway down the page):

 

link removed

 

If she is pregnant and you live where this can't be done or you just don't have the money to do so - then you need to tell your/her parents. A pregnancy can't be hidden for long. And it's not healthy for your girlfriend to not be seeing a doctor.

 

Don't forget though, getting an abortion is totally her choice.

 

Sorry to inform you, but your information is wrong. I live in Wyoming, which is one of the states that your info says does require your parents consent and that was not the case with me at all.

 

My advice is to call some different doctors, find out if they even do abortions and then ask them if they require parental consent/notification.

[StarBrite]

I don't usually reply to these because i'm strictly against abortion and killing one's baby for the simple fact, if you are old enough to be having sex, then i think you should be old enough to know or research the risks and be responsible for the outcome. The fact of the matter is, she either is or isn't pregnant. If she is, you have chosen abortion, but that doesn't mean you can't change your mind either. Have you talked this completely through with your girlfriend? Having a child is a big deal, but so is chosing abortion. The ladies that have responded have put up two points, some people go through with it and have no regrets later, and others do. I'm not going to say either are the right way because only you and your girlfriend can decide that, together. If one of you isn't sure about it, there are other options and plenty of places which help financially and emotionally. I do agree with the counseling aspect. I advise you not to think abortion is the easier way out of this problem because it by far isn't. Theres alot of preperation and expenses that do go along with it. I too hope for the sake of the baby(if she's pregnant), that she actually isn't. Then i would also hope you both took this as a learning experience about the scares of pregnancy and what a big decision letting something you created, live or die.

[bb13]

Well it was negative!!!! Thank you all for your information. It is greatly appreciated. I will not make this mistake twice though. This has been a huge lesson to me. Thank you all again.