How do you know the difference between desperation/optisim for the future?

[rkw]

Hi everyone,

 

Just over 2 months ago, I broke up with my ex of over 4 years who also happened to be my high-school sweetheart. Initially, I was caught in a horrible paradox of wanting to rebound ASAP while also believing I would never love anyone ever again.

 

Thankfully, that feeling has gone now, and I can feel my mind starting to open up to the idea of one day being in another relationship. I actually look forward to one day sharing that emotional and physical bond with someone. I know right now is not the right time for a relationship, I still have a lot of baggage to overcome with the BU and plenty I want to achieve as a single person. I am not actively looking for potential partners. But I worry that I shouldn't be thinking of future relationships at all, and that by doing so is unhealthy, that all of my energy and thinking should just be about me. Sometimes at night I think "It would be so nice to fall asleep next to someone again" or things along those lines.

 

I am really enjoying my newfound independence, my confidence has really increased, I'm looking forward to re-entering study and possibly travelling early 2012. I'm happier than I ever imagined I could be without my ex, and I don't regret the BU at all. But everyone else on here newly enjoying singledom after a BU never mentions the desire for a relationship...should I be trying to stop these thoughts? Is it optimism or just desperation? I hope my post makes some sense because I know I'm pretty confused...